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21 Incredible Minimalist Movie Posters

Tag: Videos

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: “Slap Jitsu” Made Us Laugh Harder Than Any Previous Martial Arts Fail Video


(We lost it at about 0:06)

This might actually be the dumbest thing we’ve ever seen on our Martial Arts Fail of the Week segment.

I know we say that a lot, but we’ve never actually laughed harder at a martial arts video. Watching a fat kid running forwards at full speed while moving his hands like he was trying to juggle the air itself had us in tears.

We couldn’t really find out a whole lot about these guys. The first time we watched the video (which was sent to us on Twitter, by the way) we actually thought it was a parody. We couldn’t believe people actually trained in this stuff and thought it was legit. Then we remembered Balinese White Magic, Ashida Kim, and Bo Fung Do. So yeah, it’s probably safe to say this isn’t some kind of parody of ridiculous martial arts videos and that the people in the video believe in what they’re doing.

We tried to figure out who these guys are. Check out the results after the jump.

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: A Kung Fu Instructor With a Chuck Liddell-Level Beer Gut

Another weekend, another Martial Arts Fail of the Week.

Today we don’t have anything quite as scandalous as instructors telling you to shit yourself or claiming that defeating a wrestler is as easy as sidestepping a takedown.

Instead, we have an example of the kind of shoddy martial arts techniques being taught in dojos across the country. This is the kind of stuff Martial Arts Fail was originally started to expose: Techniques of dubious validity practiced on partners that are totally compliant. How is that kind of stuff supposed to teach a person how to fight and defend themselves?

So anyway, this week’s example is from a San Soo Kung Fu school. If you’re an MMA history buff, you’d recognize that name. UFC 2‘s Thaddeus Luster was a representative of the style (and he got dominated by a Sambo practitioner). This school in particular belongs to Bill Hulsey, the instructor in the video, who’s been running the school for 39 years.

To us, the video typifies martial arts. An old, deified “master” with a huge beer gut makes himself look like a Mortal Kombat character by beating up a compliant student.

The guy has tons more videos. Have a look at some of the highlights:

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Smear Shit on Yourself to Prevent Rape

Rape prevention is a serious topic and a noble endeavor but the guys in this video have pretty much no clue about it.

Many of the techniques are “street” techniques that simply assume someone is going to let you eye gouge them or hit them in the balls without doing anything–like they’ll just stand there and let you do it. To quote Daniel Cormier, “Do you think I’m just gonna sit there and let you kill me?

Anyway, these guys are basically peddling martial arts snake oil–or snake excrement. That’s right, shitting and pissing yourself is among the techniques they advocate. They also suggest rubbing shit on your arms and on your face, a Martial Arts Fail of the Week first.

Get a rundown of who these guys are (and what popular movie one of them was in) after the jump.

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Watch Art Jimmerson Knock A Fighter Through the Ropes (and Make a Guy Puke)

Art Jimmerson is arguably the most derided fighter in the history of MMA. This is understandable. The dude went into UFC 1 thinking he was going to collect some easy money by knocking out strip mall McDojo masters.

As we know, the reality was that Jimmerson was out of his depth in a no holds barred competition. And, of course, he fought Royce Gracie wearing only one glove, instantly guaranteeing himself a place in MMA’s hall of shame.

UFC co-creator Campbell McClaren recently dished on the one-glove issue on Darce Side Radio. It turns out “Big” John McCarthy had an exchange with Jimmerson before the fight. He explained what Royce Gracie would do to Jimmerson, as well as the horrifying fact that the referee wouldn’t separate the fighters in the case of a clinch. This was a fight, not a boxing match.

MMA Mania summed up McClaren’s story:

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TMZ Releases Photos of Joe Riggs’ Gunshot Wound. They’re Extremely Graphic


(via TMZ)

Joe Riggs shot himself in the leg last week? In case you forgot, Riggs was cleaning his gun when it discharged. The gunshot wounded his hand and leg.

TMZ just released pictures of Riggs’ wounded leg, and they’re brutal. We’d make a “that’s even worse than Marvin Eastman’s cut!” joke but this is a pretty serious matter. CagePotato doesn’t like to joke and ball-bust about life threatening things.

A video is embedded above which shows the images and provides footage of Riggs discussing the injury. If you don’t feel like watching that, here are the photos (via TMZ). Be warned, they are EXTREMELY graphic. Don’t look at them if you’re squeamish.

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Defeat Attackers By Staring At Them and Stop Swords With Your Mind

Another weekend means another Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Today we have a Bullshido master who’s EVEN WORSE than the Finnish chi master who telepathically subdued his foes.

His name is Masanori Abe, and his powers are so lethal he can drop you to the canvas with just a stare! Watch the above video for proof.

This guy is also a master swordsman–and not through years of training and lightning-quick reflexes, but through magic. In the below video, watch him stop his opponent’s training swords through pure mental fortitude. Check it out after the jump.

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Systema Instructor Takes Out a Compliant Biker Gang

It’s been a while since we’ve had a Martial Arts Fail of the Week here on CagePotato.

First we were busy crafting the 95 Theses of MMA.

Now we’re busy with another magic, top secret project that likely won’t surface for a few weeks at the very earliest. But rest assured, we have our top men working on it…Top. Men.

As a result, we haven’t really had the time to delve through YouTube’s dearth of martial arts vids and expose hilarious frauds and fails. Thankfully, a Twitter-friend (@BurritoBrosShit) tipped us off to the video we’re presenting you today: A Korean Systema instructor showing how much of a bad-ass he is by beating up compliant training partners dressed as bikers. One of them is dressed as Marty McFly from Back to the Future.

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Beatdown of the Day: Little Kid Bitch Slaps Smack-Talking Foe *While* Ghost-Riding Bicycle (#WeekofDanga)

As you might’ve heard (from me, earlier today), BG is on vacation for the week, which can only mean one thing: The #WeekofDanga is now in full swing. That means no rules, no filters, and most likely, no readers. (*self burn-five*)

What it also means is that I’ll be taking any and all suggestions/submissions in regards to potential news items from the few of you readers who haven’t already removed CagePotato from your bookmarks bars in light of this (albeit brief) coup d’etat, via tips@cagepotato.com. But let’s get one thing straight; I will not be devoting any coverage to fighter beefs on Twitter, mundane fight-bookings, or other such articles that none of you care to read anyway.

Instead, let us use this week to highlight the absurd, the hysterical, and the just plain bizarre aspects of our once-proud sport that we all know and love. Got a sweet muay Thai fight/KO that you think deserves more coverage? Pass it along. A tenuously-connected gallery idea of hot women doing insert workout here? Let me know about it. In short, this is the week that your opinions actually matter, Tater Nation, so let’s make full use of it.

Take the video above, for instance, in which a small child bitchslaps a foe *while* ghost riding his bicycle. I found it in my inbox this morning, and have watched it no less than 15 times since. Is it in anyway related to MMA? Not really, except for that whole “fighting is in our DNA” shtick Daddy Dana seems to love. Is it undeniably entertaining? Absolutely. Therefore, relevant.

What? I’m just following the business model laid out by the UFC in recent years, best known as “Fuck You, Take It.” If you don’t like the content we churn out this week, you’re probably not a real fight fan anyway. Let the #WeekofDanga commence, Taters.

-J. Jones

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The 11 Greatest Ultimate Surrender Videos That We Can Get Away With Showing You


(“Staring down her opponent with an animalistic desire, is ScissorFox.” — Mike Goldberg)

In case you’ve never heard of it — yeah right, pervert — Ultimate Surrender is essentially the girl-on-girl porn version of submission grappling. Barely-clothed women wrestle each other through three sweaty rounds, and the winner gets to have her way with the loser at the end. According to the totally explicit, NSFW, and hilarious official website, “The quickest way to win is to make your opponent have a screaming orgasm totally against her will. In the heat of the moment it can happen easily.” Easily!

Sound like something you’d like? Well today’s your lucky day. In the name of journalistic integrity, we scoured YouTube to find the best Ultimate Surrender videos that we can post here without violating our “no actual nudity” policy. Never let it be said that CagePotato won’t go to any heights (or depths, in this case) to get the story. Enjoy…

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Dude Wipes: The Definitive CagePotato Review


(Unboxing the care package Dude Wipes sent CagePotato. Thanks, Dude Products!)

By Matt Saccaro

The MMA world peered at Tyron Woodley‘s ass and saw “DUDE WIPES” emblazoned across his most private chasm. In that moment, an MMA meme was born.

Dude Wipes, in some ways, are the ultimate expression of the ridiculous Dude-Bro culture ingrained in MMA–or that marketers think is ingrained in MMA. Whether through derision, revulsion, or legitimate curiosity, Dude Wipes became one of the top trends on Twitter during the fights. While some were happy to simply laugh at Dude Wipes and write them off as some kind of oddity, CagePotato wanted to know more. Myself and everyone else on the CagePotato editorial staff will never let it be said we won’t go to any heights (or depths) to the get stories that matter most to MMA. Dude Wipes, we believed, was one of those stories.

Thus, I went out to Walgreens and Target the morning after UFC 174, but found no Dude Wipes. Dejected, I resorted to making a post about them citing several Amazon reviews. But fate tossed me a life preserver in the shape of a Dude Wipe. Dude Products, makers of Dude Wipes, found out about my dilemma and hooked me up. I was excited to get my hands (and butt cheeks) on some Dude Wipes. Check them out:

I also got two wristbands that say “Fresh ass dude” and “#DudeWipes” on them; they’re shown in the video.

So how did they measure up to my expectations? Find out after the jump.

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