minimalist movie posters
21 Incredible Minimalist Movie Posters

Tag: Videos

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: How to Stomp Out a Wrestler

Remember those idiots who taught us BJJ’s five fatal weaknesses (spaz punches and bright red pants being chief among them)?

Well, they’re back. This time, the same “school”—Combatant Extreme Self Defense—is taking on wrestling.

And it’s legit…or at least legit in the sense that the guys who peddle this crap actually believe it works. It doesn’t though. There are more things wrong with this takedown “defense” than are wrong with Vitor Belfort‘s sudden removal from his UFC 173 title bout against Chris Weidman. Let’s just say this: Count yourself lucky if you wind up in a street fight with a “wrestler” who opts to grab your rear leg on a single leg takedown, let alone make thousands of other mistakes.

Stay tuned for next week’s traditional martial art’s fail, where another favorite from the past will be telling us how to defeat boxing with deadly street smarts.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

Read More DIGG THIS

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Defeat Bullies by Slapping Their Balls (We’re Not Kidding)


(If you wear socks like the male instructor, you will ALWAYS be bullied)

Ever been bullied?

If so, how did you stop your grade-school foes? Did you beat them up with a hat? Stymie them with thousands of spaz punches? Use the force?

What about slapping them in the nuts? What, you’ve never done that!? According to this week’s martial arts fail, that’s one of the key techniques in the fight against bullying.

Seriously, you need to watch this video. Here’s just a short highlight reel of what it includes:

-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
-The defense for the all-too-powerful “you’ve got something on your shirt” maneuver.
-”Stun techniques and dirty tricks.”
-Pulling someones hair and then doing absolutely nothing to follow it up.
-Groin-slapping.
-Throwing candy in someone’s face as a self-defense move (I wish I was making this part up).

Please watch the video, it’ll be worth it. We promise. This is the exact kind of horrific, “self-defense” advice that Ben Goldstein and I sought to destroy when we were storming dojos back in the 90s, testing our SAFTA. But as we got up there in years, we decided to purge martial chicanery with articles on a middling MMA website rather than with our fists.

Enjoy!

Thanks to CagePotato reader James Hays for sending us this video. If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com

Read More DIGG THIS

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: The Hat Is Mightier Than the Sword

Our friends at Break.com made a great discovery that we’re happy to present as our Martial Arts Fail of the Week: A guy named James Keating who peddles hat-based self defense techniques.

The hat in question, or rather a “SAP CAP” is special. Keating himself wrote all about it:

The term SAP refers to a flexible, weighted impact device. A common sock (stocking) filled with sand is a crude form of sap. The weighted leather – flexible saps are used by some police units even today. The SAP CAP reflects this idea, but in a form less recognizable as an item of defense. And in today’s world this aspect is a real plus!

The basic idea behind using the sap cap is very simple. Reach up with one hand, grab the bill of the cap and the swing it off your head toward your intended target. Any number of angles, lines and moves can be incorporated. You’ve basically got a flexible club in your mitts, use it as such. 

To put it in less suburban ninja terms, it’s basically a baseball cap filled with BBs. Cool.

The guy also sells videos of how to fight with a tomahawk. In addition to this, he’s a fan of compliant wrist lock drills that magically render the opponent unable to hit you with his other arm, as well as other crap that would only work in The Matrix.

You can check out his YouTube channel here. It’s filled with 21-foot-rule guy type nonsense.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com

Read More DIGG THIS

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Making “The Karate Kid” Look Legit


(These techniques only work if you SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN THE ENTIRE TIME)

Despite MMA’s emergence into world, people still believe training non-contact spaz punches and flaccid, weak throws against compliant opponents will teach you how to be an unstoppable, street-lethal badass—a wrecking machine not unlike, shall we say, John Kreese or Terry Silver of The Karate Kid franchise fame.

That’s right! This week on CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail we’re highlighting (or lowlighting) the teachings of a Kung Fu dojo that presumably named itself after the brutal, take-no-shit, antagonistic Cobra Kai karate dojo from The Karate Kid. And trust us, these guys make the strip mall karate from the film look like a violent, unquestionably legit blood sport.

Regarding the actual “technique” in the video. Well, I hope all my opponents line up single file and wait for me if I ever get into a street fight…and stop fighting immediately after feinting a front kick their way…and then fall to the ground when I do a quasi sweep on them.

The school’s YouTube account has been dormant for three years. In addition to the video above, there are about a dozen others that are just as bad—including one with the world’s worst armbar. We suggest paying their channel a visit and watching them if you’re in need of a laugh or two.

 

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com

Read More DIGG THIS

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Don’t Use Eye Pokes Because the Guy Will Kill Your Family

Last time on CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week, we covered absurd and downright dangerous (for you, not the other guy) knife defense techniques.

This week, we’re highlighting an amazing character by the name of “Master Wong“—a Jeet Kune Do, Wing Chun, and Tai Chi expert.

To be fair, the techniques in the video aren’t the worst we’ve seen; they’re the standard sort of compliant, “street” self-defense training that’s peddled in poor martial arts schools across the country. What makes Master Wong’s stylings so notable are his incomprehensible accent (Tito Ortiz-level of poor English) and his insane assertions, such as “you can’t knee fucking shit” and his claims about how poking a man in the eye means he’ll kill your family.

This video is worth a watch, trust us. It’s bad martial arts combined with ridiculous engrish—a win-win! He’s got loads of others too. They’re not quite as good as the one above, but are still fun.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com

Read More DIGG THIS

[VIDEO] Don Frye is Back With More Machismo-Fueled Predictions for UFC 169

Don Frye told us that he’d be back after his UFC 168 installment of “Predator’s Predictions”, and since the only lie he ever told was that he’d call your mother the next day, “The Predator” has returned with UFC 169 in his crosshairs this time around.

What’s that, you say? There’s actually a different UFC event going down this weekend on Fox? THE PREDATOR HAS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR MIDDLING CABLE TV CARDS. And if you don’t like how he does business, he’s sure there’s a Designing Women marathon with your name on it playing somewhere, bud.

After opening up this edition of “Predator’s Predictions” by alienating his dissenters as pathetic girlie-men and thanking Seth Macfarlane for bringing back Brian on Family Guy, Frye launches right into his usual mix of whiskey-soaked predictions and occasionally misogynistic insights. A few highlights:

-On Dominick Cruz’s latest injury: “I didn’t know Cruz had a groin.”
-On Ali Bagautinov: “Ali…Boobanov. He’s like the Tazmanian Devil on crack.”
-On Ricardo Lamas: “I remember Lorenzo from the hit TV show Renegade 17 years ago.”
--On Ricardo Lamas, again: ”You say that your favorite technique is ‘whatever wins me the fight.’ In your fight against Jose Aldo, I might recommend a baseball bat or a gun.”
--On Renan Barao: “He looks like Veeter Belfort’s mini-me.”

If your voice doesn’t drop three octaves after watching this video, you’re either a eunuch or already dead.

-J. Jones 

Read More DIGG THIS

Traditional Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Five Ways to DESTROY BJJ


(Video via CombatantDVD)

Are you ready for this? Are you sure? Are you really sure?

For this week’s Traditional Martial Arts Fail, we have the five definitive ways to defeat a BJJ guy. It’s as easy as using basic movements against a compliant partner. Imagine that!

Checking out their website, it seems like these guys are the “too deadly” sort who want to believe in their mysticism and bogus street cred. Their experiences range in arts like the esteemed Pekiti-Tirsia Kali system (it’s right up at the top of the martial arts pyramid with Kapu Kuialua, we assure you) and Krav Maga (because that style is so effective). One of “the masters” practices a style that is “concept based rather than technique-based.” You know, because it’s bad to base a martial art on having good technique.

Needless to say, if the dude in the video tried any of this compliant crap on a legit BJJ fighter or any other sort of grappler, he’d wind up with a broken arm. Just goes to show you that even though the UFC is a little more than 20 years old, there are still people who haven’t gotten the message about what works in a fight and what doesn’t!

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

Read More DIGG THIS

Traditional Martial Arts Fail of the Week: The Awful Predecessor of Tae Bo


(Video via Break.com)

Remember Billy Blanks’ Tae Bo—the progenitor of those cardio kickboxing programs littering gyms across the country, the ones soccer moms sign up for to lose baby weight AND learn “self defense”?

Well, it turns out Mr. Blanks wasn’t the first to simultaneously bastardize aerobics and martial arts.

This week on CagePotato’s Traditional Martial Arts Fail, we’re happy to share with you the mitochondrial eve of shitty cardio kickboxing: A 1980s video merging dubious self defense techniques and Richard Simmons-like aerobics.

There’s not a whole lot of information about who’s behind this hilariously bad style of “fighting” (and it is hilarious). You won’t regret watching this, trust us. There are loads of nut shots, twerking, and they even suggest using your ass as a weapon—no joke.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

Read More DIGG THIS

This Bizarre UFC 168 Trailer Is So Over the Top It’s Amazing


(Video via Taiwanese Animators)

MMA trailers have become woefully formulaic these days. Throw some highlight reel clips alongside a catchy (or not so catchy) pop song and boom, instant commercial.

The UFC will air said trailer on TV tens of thousands of times (in just one broadcast), use it for video ads on the MMA websites it advertises on/secretly controls, and after a few weeks we’ll all have the dreadfully cliched piece of marketing memorized.

Today we found something more refreshing.

We’d like to present to you an incredible UFC 168 trailer from Internet famous video makers Next Media Animation—a Taiwanese media studio known for its humorous, nigh absurdist take on current events.

Instead of generic, “bad ass” rock music and B-roll footage, this trailer offers us over-the-top visuals like Anderson Silva bench-pressing minivans and literally turning into a spider—all in the polygonal splendor of 1990s computer graphics.

We don’t want to spoil it for you, so just take our word for it; watching this is worth the one minute 30 seconds.

Read More DIGG THIS

Traditional Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Finnish Jedi Knight Looks Like a Tool


(Video via Break.com)

Ready to see some bullshit “martial arts” get exposed in hilarious fashion?

Good! Because that’s just what we have in store for you with our new somewhat-regular feature: Traditional Martial Arts Fail of the Week.

From now on, on each weekend that doesn’t host a UFC event we’ll be posting the most laughably atrocious foibles, gaffes, and mishaps from traditional styles (and other Bullshido like Dim Mak).

For the inaugural video, our friends at Break.com have uncovered a Finnish Jedi by the name of Jukka Lampila. Lampila claims mastery of the “Empty Force”—a mysterious power that can control an attacker that requires no physical prowess or martial proficiency. Though, according to the official website, we’re not doing this formless art justice in our description.

“There is a multitude of descriptions for the term but none of them might reveal its meaning in all aspects,” is how the site describes Empty force or “Efo” for short.

But get this, they even advertise that there’s zero technique involved and that you can skip classes without missing out on learning:

With Efo, there are no specific forms or technics [sic] and each trainee applies it the way it best fits oneself. In Efo there are no “courses” that would start and end somewhere.  Instead, the fundamental principles (relaxation, mind and breathing) are exercised during every session. Thus, anyone can join and train any time. And if you can’t join each and every session, you won’t miss anything irreplaceable.

Judging from the video, the Efo website is telling the truth; you won’t miss anything at all from ditching this guys classes.

When confront by students cult-like true believers, Jukka Lampila—a man who has “trained in budo since 1985″—comes across as a modern-day Luke Skywalker, disposing of foes with Force-powered strikes.

But when skeptics step up to the plate, things change. We don’t want to spoil it for you, so check out the video and enjoy watching this fraud eat crow.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA