Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

“Can somebody beat him up for me, please?”

Aside from a genuine, non-ironic “talk to the hand” that I had no idea people still said, that was all that Vitor Belfort had to say to reporters during the post-fight press conference last night about the elephant in the room. And frankly, I’m not going to add much else about it, either. You couldn’t talk to many fans – or even the fighters involved – about this fight without engaging in a lengthy discussion about drug usage. Naturally, Belfort winning the fight only intensified these discussions, as though there should be an asterisk next to the W on his record.

In many ways, the elephant in the room seemed to overshadow the actual fight between Belfort and Rockhold. That’s tragic, considering what we were treated to.

I won’t write that Belfort’s chemical wizardry is completely meaningless in a fight; if it was, he wouldn’t bother with it. But attributing the absolutely brilliant spinning kick that ended this fight – and made a strong case for Knockout of the Year for this year’s Potato Awards – to a loaded syringe is just as laughably misinformed. Belfort was Rockhold’s first true test, and The Phenom simply proved to be too much for him.

(And remember folks, this is a UFC main event, so the fight will be scheduled for five rounds, and both fighters will be allowed to receive injections of synthetic testosterone during training. Wait, what’s that? Only *one* of them can do that? Well how the fuck does that make any sense? / Photo via Getty Images)

Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to go live from Jaraguá do Sul — known to many* as the Kansas City of Brazil — for UFC on FX 8: Belfort vs. Rockhold. Once again, the Phenom has home-country advantage and the Lord’s blessing. Will that be enough to stave off the invasion of a young, hungry, and very amped-up former Strikeforce champ? Plus: Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza makes his UFC debut against Chris Camozzi, and Rafael Dos Anjos clashes with Evan Dunham in the lightweight division.

Taking us through the play-by-play tonight will be Matt Kaplan, who will be stacking live results after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and toss in your own thoughts in the comments section — or just holler at us on twitter @CagePotatoMMA.

* Or perhaps, nobody?

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

During Thursday’s UFC on FX 8 pre-fight press conference, Vitor Belfort did that thing he loves to do where he held his right fist out to Luke Rockhold‘s chin during their photo-op staredown. Luke was not amused. So, after the two headliners weighed in today at Arena Jaragua in Jaragua do Sul, Santa Catarina, Brazil, Rockhold just walked straight through Belfort’s fist-pose, making body contact with the Brazilian fighter. Belfort shoved Rockhold, and Bootleg Dana had to separate them.

Video of that incident is above, and the full “Belfort vs. Rockhold” weigh-in results are after the jump. Be sure to come back to CagePotato.com tomorrow night at 9 p.m. ET for our liveblog of the main card!

(Stupid Things MMA Fans Used to Believe #26: THIS will be a competitive match up.)

Although he’s getting more press for his TRT usage than he is for his actual octagon performances nowadays, there was a time when Vitor Belfort was just a fresh-faced Brazilian assassin who was quite literally trimming the fat from the UFC’s heavyweight division. That time was 1997, and there was perhaps no greater a display of Vitor’s ability to crush hopelessly outmatched and overweight opponents than his UFC 12 thrashing of Scott Ferrozzo. Thankfully, UFC.com has made the fight temporarily available to the public, presumably so we can gain some perspective on what a true squash match looks like and be happy with the fights we’re given.

As hilarious as it is depressing, join us after the jump as we take a look back at just what constituted a UFC tournament final. You will laugh, you will cry, you will declare that you’re getting too old for this shit.

(Buy it now at Amazon!)

This Saturday at UFC on FX 8, Vitor Belfort will welcome Strikeforce middleweight champion Luke Rockhold to the Octagon for the first time, in front of a friendly crowd in Jaraguá do Sul, Brazil. Belfort is coming off of his second-round TKO of Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7 (which also happened to take place in Brazil), while Rockhold hasn’t competed since last July, when he picked up his ninth-consecutive win against Tim Kennedy. At this point, you should start formulating your opinion about which of these guys will win, and how — because if you can predict the future, we’ll make it worth your while.

Yes, ladies and gents, it’s fight-picking time once again. Shoot us your prediction for the Belfort vs. Rockhold fight in the comments section of this post, and the two closest guesses will each score a copy of Bruce Buffer‘s new autobiography It’s Time! My 360° View of the UFC, autographed by the Buffman himself. (If you missed our review of the book yesterday, click here.) Your predictions should be arranged like this…

(Vitor anxiously waits to find out what kinds of drugs he’ll be testing.)

Trying to get Vitor Belfort to issue a clear statement about his relationship with testosterone replacement therapy has been pretty much impossible over the past few months. So far, what we know is that the thirty-five year old Brazilian – who has failed a drug test in the past – was granted a TUE for TRT prior to his UFC on FX 7 victory over Michael Bisping, but none of that matters because when you judge people, it sounds like you are a god and freedom and privacy and all that other fun stuff. Not that I’m trying to sound like a god or anything, but shady, evasive non-answers like these are one of the many reasons that Dana White has recently promised to crack down on TRT usage.

Yet at a press conference for UFC on FX 8, Belfort gave the reporters on hand a straightforward answer about his usage, claiming not only that he tests himself regularly to ensure that his levels stay within the acceptable range, but also that the UFC has always known about his usage. Via Tatame:

“The UFC always knew that I use, do not do it to cheat. I have medical monitoring and UFC also accompanies it. Never broken through anything, always acted cleanly. Do blood tests every week to equal the testosterone levels of a person my age. Many people are averse to treatment. I am not. I am in favor of people being open and fair in what they are doing.”

(If 10 cc’s of Desflurane can’t keep this kid down, NOTHING CAN.) 

I was there. I was there the last time Anderson Silva was listed as anything less than a 3-to-1 favorite over his opponent. It was called 2011. Barack Obama was President, George W. Bush was in the White House, and Bill Clinton was running this country into the ground. The event was UFC 126, which was being held in a little hole in the wall town in what is now Nevada. Some fella by the name of Vitor shows up, starts picking off so-called “former middleweight champions.” Before we knew what hit us, he was trying to dethrone old Andy in our own backyard. So Vitor had to go.

Now this fella by the name of Weidman storms into town, flashing them dimes like a big shot and making noise, and wouldn’t you know it, he’s currently listed as one of the smallest underdogs (+165) Anderson has faced in his entire UFC career. It’s a load of claptrap if you ask me; this Weidman feller hasn’t fought in almost a year and is coming off shoulder surgery to boot. But if history is any indication, a moderately-favored Anderson Silva is the most dangerous Anderson Silva. Be careful what you wish for, Weidman. Be careful. What. You. Wish. For.

[UPDATED] – 4 p.m.

Well, that was a lot of buildup for nothing. In the hours since this was originally written, Anderson has already improved to just under a 3-to-1 favorite. Still, it seems that the bookies are giving Weidman’s grappling prowess a lot of respect all things considered.

I apologize for wasting your time.

-J. Jones

(“Operation Stockton Jesus Journey, has begun.” Props: prebek)

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(“I don’t really get what this whole TRT debate is even about, Vitor. As if my thyme-roasted tilapia is the sole ingredient behind your success.”) 

Although testosterone replacement therapy hasn’t been a topic of debate for all that long in the MMA world, it has more than worn out its welcome with the sport’s fans and more than a few fighters to boot. It’s been criticized so much that even Dana White has flip-flopped on the issue, now vowing to “test the shit” out of fighters on TRT out of fear that they will abuse it. The general dislike for this newfangled “therapy” is only intensified when it involves past steroid abusers like say Vitor Belfort, who tested positive for 4-Hydroxytestosterone following his Pride 32 loss to Dan Henderson in 2006.

As you surely recall, Belfort was granted a TUE for TRT prior to his UFC on FX 7 victory over Michael Bisping. Although most of us were willing to give “The Phenom” a pass for that event because he was able to shut up Michael Bisping for a minute or two, it looks like NSAC Executive Director Keith Kizer will not be so lenient should Belfort and past dopers like him fight in Nevada any time soon:

I don’t see Vitor Belfort getting a TRT exemption from us. I really don’t and I feel kind of bad for him in some ways because if he has learned from his mistakes and now he’s trying to do it the right way and his levels are low with the treatment good for him and I hope he is doing that. 

Opinions that fans and pundits have on testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) and its place in MMA are about as varied as the search engine terms that brought you here. With Dana White promising to “test the shit out of” fighters on testosterone replacement therapy to Vitor Belfort lashing out at his critics on Twitter over his own TRT usage, we’ve seen two different extremes over the course of this weekend alone. It’s a complicated issue that has many different ways of being interpreted; possibly none of which are entirely right or wrong by themselves. With that in mind, here’s an attempt at condensing the plethora of opposing views on the issue into nine different ways to look at it, arranged in no particular order.

1.) It’s Incredibly Dangerous For Both Fighters Involved.

Perhaps the most common criticism I’ve heard and read regarding testosterone replacement therapy in MMA is that it makes an already dangerous occupation even more hazardous. This is easy to observe through the perspective of the user’s opponent. It’s one thing if Barry Bonds wants to hit longer home runs, or if Hedo Turkoglu wants to flop harder — their opponents are not physically hurt by their actions in either example. However, if an MMA fighter takes testosterone to become more aggressive and punch harder, the likelihood of his opponent suffering irreparable brain damage increases dramatically.

Often neglected, however, are the additional long-term risks that the TRT user opens himself up to. Testosterone may make a fighter faster and stronger, but it doesn’t exactly undo brain damage. Prolonging a fighter’s physical prime also elongates the amount of time he’s receiving blows to the head. Imagine if boxers like Meldrick Taylor and Riddick Bowe – who showed signs of dementia pugilistica by the ends of their careers yet didn’t retire until they couldn’t stay in shape — had access to testosterone replacement therapy. Giving aging fighters the illusion that they can keep taking shots to the head because they’re still in good physical condition is bound to end in disaster.

2.) TRT Isn’t Nearly The Advantage It’s Made Out to Be.

(“OH GOD, OH GOD. I CAN’T FIND A PULSE, YOSEMITE!”) 

Considering Anderson Silva has all but left the middleweight division for the more lucrative worlds of light-heavyweight squash matches and straight-to-DVD cop films, we think it’s going to be pretty difficult for the UFC to put their patented “winner gets a title shot” rub on the upcoming UFC on FX 8 card scheduled for May 18th. Sure, the event features both a headlining fight between top contenders Vitor Belfort and Luke Rockhold and now a middleweight clash between Ronaldo Souza and Costa Philippou, but when your division’s champion has been turning down the matchups that have been offered to him for months now, to what extent can you start promoting number one contenders?

Be that as it may, UFC on FX 8 will now feature a pair of middleweight showdowns that should have title implications written all over them, as the pairing of Souza and Philippou was just made official a few hours ago. Since losing his Strikeforce middleweight title to Rockhold in September of 2011, “Jacare” has collected three straight stoppage victories, including a first round kimura submission of Ed Herman at Strikeforce’s final event last month.

(Image via CombatLifestyle)

Fight bookings continue to dominate the MMA headlines, Potato Nation. Fortunately for us, it looks like 2013 will be a year where at least half of these announced fights actually make it to the cards they were originally intended to be on.

Although the matchup was hinted at a few weeks ago, both Vitor Belfort and Luke Rockhold vehemently denied that a bout between them was anywhere near a done deal. In fact, the final Strikeforce middleweight champ even went as far as to call out Costa Philippou for his promotional debut, a move that seems like a classic bait and switch in hindsight. In either case, it has been announced that Belfort and Rockhold will indeed be facing off next at a yet-to-be-named event in Brazil, go figure.

Belfort is fresh off a second round destruction of Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7 that was first attributed to an omniscient higher power but later revealed to be at least partially influenced by the highest power of them all (other than bath salts, of course): testosterone. Rockhold, on the other hand, was scheduled to face Lorenz Larkin at Strikeforce’s once-named Champions event last month, but was forced to pull out from the fight with a wrist injury. Or as Lorenz would call it, a “wrist injury.”

(Remember the good old days? Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

No, there is absolutely nothing sarcastic about the title of this article. Michael Bisping, who has the ability to sound like a total asshole even while saying things that many fans agree with, has respectfully released a statement on a hot-button issue. He has managed to disagree with other side without playing the role of a cocky British stereotype. I’m being dead serious.

On Friday, Bisping took to his website to release an official statement about Vitor Belfort’s testosterone replacement therapy usage for their fight at UFC on FX 7. As you may remember, following the event there was much speculation that Belfort may have failed his drug test due to information being leaked that one of the fighters from the card pissed hot. Even though the news regarding the actual fighter who failed his drug test turned out to be rather anti-climactic (read: not Belfort), many people feel that TRT has no place in MMA, including Michael Bisping.

Here’s his official statement, in all of it’s non-dickish glory:

(Hey, you can’t blame Vitor for following in the footsteps of his lord and savior.) 

File this one under “News that absolutely no one should be surprised about.”

We knew something had to be up from the moment Vitor Belfort gave his incoherent, rambling, Animal Farm-esque response when questioned about whether or not he had hopped on the TRT bandwagon currently sweeping through MMA. Either Belfort just really, really feared being ostracized from his future bridge group at the UFC retirement home — the Ultimate Fusspot CareCenter — or he was simply feeding the interviewer whatever thoughts he could string together whilst trying to find the nearest exit. And now that the drug test results for UFC on FX 7 have come back, the UFC would like you to know that Belfort was definitely doing the latter.

Earlier today, UFC officials confirmed that Belfort did in fact receive a therapeutic use exemption for testosterone replacement therapy in the weeks leading up to his main event bout against Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7. But fret not, for his post-fight test “did not indicate the presence of any prohibited substance for increasing performance improvement.” Thank de Jesus for that.

(Don’t worry, it’s the guy on the bottom. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)

Relax, Potato Nation, we can all rest assured knowing that Vitor Belfort did in fact beat the colon cannonballs out of Michael Bisping at UFC on FX 7 without needing a banned substance to do so (Author’s note: Not that we would judge him if he did. Because when you judge someone, it sounds like you are a God. And we live in a freedom country, where you are either a Republican or a Democrat. Who is right?). And while that’s all well and good, one of the tests from the event did come back positive, as Dana White had mentioned earlier this week.

According to Brazilian news outlet Tatame, the fighter who pissed dirty at UFC on FX 7 was…Thiago Tavares:

After many rumors, the results of doping tests UFC Sao Paulo left [Note: Fucking Google translate, I tell you]. According to TATAME, the name of the athlete caught is Thiago Tavares. Our sources, however, need not know the substance used for light weight. His suspension will be nine months.

Yep, the guy we last saw eating Khabib Nurmagomedov’s elbows like they were acarajes is the one who got popped for what we can only assume is some kind of steroid. It kind of makes sense when you realize that Tavares regularly drops 20 pounds in between fights to fulfill his double life as salsa artist Marc Anthony.

(Belfort is not a “TRT abuser,” okay? He has always treated TRT with the utmost respect and tenderness. / Photo via RyanLoco.com)

On Friday morning, rumors began to spread that Vitor Belfort had failed a drug test for his UFC on FX 7 headlining fight against Michael Bisping last month. Between Belfort’s stammering recent response about TRT and his previous PED-bust in 2006, it was one of those rumors that immediately gained traction because it seemed perfectly believable. But was there any actual truth to it? Well, we have some good news and some bad news. Here’s what UFC president Dana White had to say when asked about the Belfort rumor following the UFC 156 press-conference on Saturday night (transcribed by MMAWeekly and BloodyElbow):

“There was an irregular test. Something was wrong. Whenever something wrong happens, or weird, (the samples) get retested and, usually, it’s not a good thing. It (expletive) was not Vitor Belfort. Yet, right now I bet if you talked to 100 people, 100 people will tell you that Vitor Belfort failed his drug test in Brazil. That’s (expletive)…I do know the results. They’ll be out Monday… [Ed. note: *checks calendar* Sweet!]

(Now it can be told: Vitor Belfort caught this gash in sparring ten days before his fight against Michael Bisping. It needed 20 stitches. Props to reddit_mma for the tip.)

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(Let’s just say that one of these men doesn’t start each morning with six ounces of lean protein. / Photo via AllElbows)

Following Vitor Belfort‘s stunning head-kick finish of Michael Bisping last weekend, UFC president Dana White threw out an interesting suggestion for the Brazilian’s next opponent: “[Luke] Rockhold. That’s what we’re talking about.”

Rockhold, who is now officially a UFC middleweight following a flawless nine-fight run in Strikeforce, hasn’t competed since his decision win over Tim Kennedy last July, and recently called out Costa Philippou for his UFC debut — a move that now seems pretty damn humble. By comparison, a match against Belfort would give the AKA product a much higher profile for his Octagon debut, and could help break him as a new UFC star if he’s victorious.

In a related story, Anderson Silva‘s manager Jorge Guimaraes told SporTV that they’d like to face Rockhold next: ”It would be champion against champion. It’s a good fight to promote.” And it would, in the same way that Benson Henderson vs. Gilbert Melendez is a good fight to promote. We just can’t shake the feeling that there’s at least one other guy in the UFC middleweight division who’s a little more deserving.

So here’s my idea — a single-night four-man tournament to determine the next middleweight title contender, featuring Belfort, Rockhold, Chris Weidman, and Hector Lombard, in which all fighters would be required to be on TRT. (An alternate bout between Jacare Souza and Minowaman would be slated on the prelims.) I know, I know, I should have Joe Silva’s job. It’s all politics, bro.

Let’s make two things clear from the beginning: Vitor Belfort is an amazing fighter, and an equally terrible trash talker. He demonstrated both of these things on Saturday night, with both his brilliant finish of Michael Bisping and his callout of Jon Jones immediately afterwards.

Of course, Jon Jones is a little busy at the moment, getting ready for Chael Sonnen and all. Belfort addresses this by asking Dana White to “Take that clown away” so he could have his rematch with Jones instead of having Bones fight Sonnen in the spring.

No one is here to say that Belfort can’t beat Sonnen in the cage – especially at light-heavyweight – but “The Phenom” doesn’t exactly live up to his nickname when it comes to trash talking. Even though I wouldn’t count Belfort’s post-fight interview as a callout of Chael Sonnen, the clown comment definitely left a sour taste in his mouth. Sonnen wasted no time responding to Belfort’s comments, using his commentary gig on the post-event FUEL TV broadcast to issue the following statements:

(Now that we’ve settled our differences, Michael, I’d like to tell you about a friend of mine)

By Elias Cepeda

If Michael Bisping’s trash-talking mouth didn’t write checks that his fists couldn’t cash so often it’s very likely he’d be known as a British MMA pioneer with incredible work ethic and who improved greatly over the course of his career. Instead, Bisping has done his darndest to mask his real accomplishments by playing up imagined ones.

He’s campaigned, with his mouth, for a title shot for years despite losing to every top-tier fighter he’s faced and being gifted wins over less than top-tier ones. Coming into Saturday’s fight against Vitor Belfort in Sao Paulo Brazil, UFC President Dana White said that Bisping would earn a title shot against Anderson Silva with a win.

At that point, Bisping had a one fight win “streak.” Before that win, a decision against Brian Stann last September that could have easily been scored instead for Stann, Bisping lost to Chael Sonnen – who’s twice been beaten by Silva. Not long before that, Bisping walked away with a win against Jorge Rivera in a fight that he should have, in fact, lost by disqualification for his blatant and repeated fouls. His break-out UFC fight was a ludicrously bad decision win over Matt Hamill.

Every time the UFC has pushed Bisping into a fight with a fighter he’d given no indication he should be in the ring with, he’s lost. He’s said it is his destiny to be a world champion and insulted almost everyone else in his division, yet Bisping has lost to every fighter that had been or would go on to be a world champion that he’s faced.

Rashad Evans, Wanderlei Silva, Dan Henderson and now, Vitor Belfort. Bisping’s win streak is back down to zero after getting TKO’d by Belfort in the second round of their main event Saturday.

Hopefully the talk of him getting a title shot any time soon has also been knocked out.

(That awkward moment when one of your most marketable fighters denies the existence of his opponent’s Lord and Savior. Pretty typical face-off stuff, really. / Photo via MMAJunkie.com)

The last time that Vitor Belfort fought in Sao Paulo, this happened. Fourteen years later, those still-lethal fists are the only thing separating Michael Bisping from the middleweight title shot that has stayed maddeningly out of his reach. So will Belfort triumph in front of his countrymen tonight at the Ibirapuera Arena, or will Bisping defy the haters and take what belongs to him?

Elsewhere on the UFC on FX 7 lineup: Gabriel Gonzaga‘s heavyweight comeback faces its first big test in Ben Rothwell, Khabib Nurmagomedov goes for his 19th-straight victory against Thiago Tavares, and TUF Brazil standout Daniel Sarafian will do his best to defend the relentless takedowns of Massive Doucheface.

Round-by-round updates from the “Belfort vs. Bisping” main card broadcast will be available after the jump beginning at 9 p.m. ET / 6 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and make the world a little less lonely by tossing your thoughts into the comments section.

(Props to Sportsnet for the vid.)

And now kids, it’s time for some completely necessary last-minute hype for tomorrow’s UFC on FX 7 event, featuring such pros as Matt Brown, Alexander Gustafsson, and flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson making their picks for the main event middleweight showdown between Michael Bisping and Vitor Belfort. The matchup has started to gain a lot steam — thanks in no small part to a particularly intense staredown at the pre-fight press conference yesterday — resulting in the event nearly reaching a sellout despite slow ticket sales in the early going.

The video doesn’t feature too many stars, but the general consensus among them seems to be that if Bisping can survive the early onslaught, he should be able to take a decision over Belfort. Truly a shocking revelation when you realize that half of Belfort’s losses have come via decision and that Bisping has never defeated an upper-echelon opponent by anything else.

But enough small talk. Who do you like for this one and how?

-J. Jones

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

The 22 fighters competing at tomorrow’s UFC on FX 7: Belfort vs. Bisping event will be hitting the scales shortly at the Ibirapuera Gymnasium in Sao Paulo, and if yesterday’s staredown was any indication, we can expect another tense face-off from the headliners, full of shoulder-shuckin’ and chin-checkin’. Plus, the UFC will unveil a new Brazilian ring girl, fulfilling a promise that has eluded us for years.

Watch the UFC on FX 7 weigh-ins live in the above video player starting at 1 p.m. ET / 10 a.m. PT, and be sure to come back tomorrow night at 9 p.m. ET for our liveblog of the FX main card.

The full weigh-in results are now after the jump.

Unlike the freakish mismatches that plagued last weekend’s Strikeforce show, the odds for this Saturday’s UFC on FX 7: Belfort vs. Bisping event in Sao Paulo suggest a very competitive lineup of fights. In fact, two of the matches are virtually dead even, with a razor-thin margin between the favorite and the underdog. Here are the betting lines for the FX main card, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Michael Bisping (-103) vs. Vitor Belfort (-107): This is about as close as it gets in MMA betting, though Belfort still comes in as a slight favorite. The line reflects the divide among fans on how the fight will play out — either Bisping will outstrike and outhustle the Phenom to a decision victory, or Belfort will maul Bisping in short order, finishing him via punches-to-the-back-of-head TKO. If you’re leaning strongly towards one of those results, feel free to put your money where your mouth is. But keep in mind that the fight is scheduled for five rounds, which certainly gives Bisping the edge if he manages to survive the first ten minutes.

Ben Rothwell (+100) vs. Gabriel Gonzaga (-110): Another close call in terms of odds, but I’m not sure that Gonzaga should be the slight favorite here. To me, he hasn’t yet shaken his reputation as a can-crusher, while Rothwell’s most recent appearance against Brendan Schaub proved him to be a ferocious finisher, hard to rattle, and in the best physical shape of his career.

(Photo via esporte.uol.com.br)

After burying most of the UFC middleweight division in his last Yahoo! Sports column — including that poor, poor Chris Weidman, who has done nothing to deserve such rough treatment — angry MMA blogger Michael Bisping returned last night with his latest missive, which attacks pretty much every aspect of Vitor Belfort‘s character, from the Brazilian’s physical appearance, to his controversial history of rabbit-punching, to his Rex Ryan-esque affection for his wife’s feet. (Meanwhile, Belfort claims that talking trash is dangerous because it can infect the person doing the talking as much as it can hurt the target. Pffft, whatever!)

Here are some choice highlights from the Count’s latest blog, in order of brutality…

On embarrassing fetishes:
“A fan tweeted me a link to Vitor in some Brazilian reality TV show, a clip where he’s in a bath kissing someone’s feet. [Ed. note: In case you've somehow never seen this clip before, those feet belonged to Vitor's wife, Joana Prado.] It was pretty fruity stuff but, if he enjoyed sucking toes, he’s going to have the time of his life on January 19 because I’m going to kick him in the face all night long.” [Ed. note: You son of a bitch.]

On TRT and illegal punches:
“I’m thinking of asking Randy Couture if I can use him old nickname ‘the Natural’ just to make it clear I’m not one of these guys who is on TRT or any of that junk. Whenever someone asks me if I am on it, I give them a straight answer and if they ask me what I think of TRT I always say: ‘I think it is legalized cheating’…I don’t think it has a place in our sport and wish my opinion — and I think the majority of fans’ opinion — was shared by certain other fighters and the people who regulate our sport.

I was disappointed Vitor Belfort started talking in tongues when asked about TRT recently. He had a little more to say on Monday when he was asked directly about my concerns that all his recent UFC fights were won by illegal punches to the back of the head. In between lengthy references to the New Testament, Belfort basically said he doesn’t care if he hits opponents behind the head…

(Meanwhile in the Kingdom of Heaven, God continued to watch NASCAR. Photo courtesy of The Canadian Press/Nathan Denette)

Four months after his ill-fated light-heavyweight title bid against Jon Jones, Vitor Belfort will be returning to the UFC middleweight division on January 19th to face Michael Bisping in the main event of UFC on FX 7. Though he’s well into his 16th year of professional MMA competition, Belfort insists that he’s never felt so good in his entire life. Obviously, that particular fighter-cliche has become so overused that it’s virtually meaningless. But if the Phenom is telling the truth, maybe there’s a reason for it. And so, ESPN’s Brett Okamoto pointed out the elephant in the room during an interview published yesterday. Hilarity ensued:

ESPN: Some fighters in their 30s have been diagnosed with low testosterone levels and received exemptions to use testosterone replacement therapy [TRT]. Have you ever applied for TRT or would you consider it?

Belfort: If a question is private, I have the choice to answer or not. If I make it public, it’s not private anymore. If I want to say something private I will say it, but I keep to myself and I respect the laws of the sport. Whatever the organization, whatever the law — they know what to do. This is too controversial, why am I going to say something that doesn’t accomplish anything? If it’s legal, they know what to do. If it’s legal, there’s nothing to say about it. It’s legal.

In light of recent events, it perhaps makes sense that the UFC would pull out all the stops to stir up some interest in the ever-elusive female demographic. That being said, the idea of having Vitor Belfort seduce our girlfriends/wives right out from underneath us, while clever, could have the opposite effect on the male demographic that basically built the sport from the ground up.

Regardless, the new trailer for UFC on FX 7: Belfort vs. Bisping – which goes down on January 19th in Sao Paulo, Brazil – forgoes the typical knockout-heavy highlight reels in favor of Belfort, a flamenco guitar, and a voice that will turn your woman’s pantalones into the Typhoon Lagoon at DisneyWorld. We’ll give them props for originality, but at the same time, they better deliver Ronda Rousey on a stripper pole when the UFC 157 promos start rolling out or there are going to be some serious problems.

We hear they shot a similar promo featuring Michael Bisping going apeshit on a turntable while “Ooonts! Ooonts! Ooonts!” blared in the background, but it was later scrapped for being — as the head of the UFC’s marketing department put it — “Way too Goddamned douchey.”

-J. Jones

(“Well Michael, you’ve really talked yourself into a corner this time.”) 

The good news: Michael Bisping is being given a fight that will at least semi-legitimize his claims of being the number one contender should he emerge victorious from it.

The bad news (for him at least): It’s against this man. (Author’s note: I’m sorry, I literally could not find ONE Vitor Belfort highlight video with a decent soundtrack. For shame, Youtube users.) 

Although the UFC tried to keep this matchup under wraps when it was first rumored, it looks like we will be seeing Bisping square off against the Brazilian “Phenom” Vitor Belfort after all. Not only that, this fight will serve as the main event of UFC on FX 7 on January 19th. Bully day!

Bisping has spent the past year or so calling out every viable contender in the middleweight division, so he should be more than satisfied (or terrified) knowing that he will be taking on a former light heavyweight champion and middleweight title challenger in Belfort for his next fight, as the Brazilian would easily make for the biggest win in the Brit’s career should the scaffolding fall from the roof and knock Belfort out in the first round. Because that is the only way Bisping is winning this one.

But who are we kidding, Belfort isn’t making it to this fight in one piece anyway, if at all.

(Click for full-size image.)

Like and Share this post on our Facebook page for a chance to win the killer Optical Panacea poster shown above, signed by Urijah Faber himself. Five winners will be selected at random by Monday. Thanks to Torque Sports and Performance for the hookup, and stay tuned for more Torque gear giveaways coming soon! Now, onto today’s links…

- Must-See Infographic: UFC History, Facts, and Figures (Havocstore.co.uk)

- Vitor Belfort: Forrest Griffin Declined A Fight With Me (Fightline)

- Bellator Debuts in Michigan on Nov 30, Good-Koreshkov Tournament Final Headlines (BleacherReport)

- UFC 154 Judo Chop: GSP and Smashing Past the Guard (BloodyElbow)

- Dan Henderson Says He’ll Help Chael Sonnen on TUF and Corner Him Against Jones if His Schedule Allows (MMAFighting)

- Kyung Ho Kang out, Motonobu Tezuka meets Alex Caceres at UFC on FUEL TV 6 (MMAJunkie)

- UFC Confirms “Minotauro” Nogueira-Fabricio Werdum as ‘TUF Brazil 2′ Coaches (MMAScraps)

- Top 5 MMA Fights Remaining in 2012 (HeavyMMA)

- 10 Moustache Styles for Movember (MensFitness)

- Honest Trailers: The Amazing Spider-Man (ScreenJunkies)

- Is Jeremy Lin Overrated? The 2012-13 NBA Point Guard Rankings (Complex)

- Hey Nostalgia Buffs – The 1990s Really Weren’t Very Good [20 PICS] (EgoTV)

- The Funniest Signs From ‘The Simpsons’ [PHOTOS] (WorldWideInterweb)

- Razor Tales #1: The Barber Shop Club (MadeMan)

(We’re sorry, Stephan, but unless those things are actual guns, you’re getting your ass kicked tonight.) 

In the days leading up to UFC 153, many of you (and by you, we mean the entire MMA Interwebz) had some less than favorable things to say about the pairing of Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva. As if the bookies hadn’t told us all we needed to know, the general consensus among fans seemed to be the evening’s main event was a “travesty, a sham, and a mockery” that “blasphemed the great sport of MMA” and was a “completely meaningless squash match” whose “insulting pairing” would be reflected in “the abysmal pay-per-view numbers it receives.” And those were the favorable comments.

But for every fifteen of you complaining, there were apparently five or more of you who were forced to stifle your true excitement over this matchup like a pedo at a tee-ball game, because if the early numbers are any indication, squash matches featuring unstoppable killing machines are the new superfights. According to several reports, the pay-per-view numbers for UFC 153 are in the range of 340,00 to 410,000 buys. These numbers not only exceeded expectation, but are not that far below September’s squash match of the month featuring Jon Jones and Vitor Belfort, which managed to clear over 450,000 buys despite having those little guys that no one cares about fighting in the night’s co-main event.