MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: Wanderlei Silva

Wanderlei Silva Turns Down Chael Sonnen Fight (?!), Wants PPV Points That He Apparently Doesn’t Deserve


(“I call dis de Tiger Claw. If do right, no can defense.”)

Less than five years ago, Wanderlei Silva would have accepted a fight with Chael “Too Sweet to be Sour” Sonnen in the parking lot of a Yogoberry for free (which is oddly enough what Lyoto Machida has resorted to these days). But they say that time has a way of healing all wounds, which is why “The Axe Murderer” suddenly seems hesitant to fight his one-time “BangBus” co-star without the added incentive of moar monies. Specifically, those tasty pay-per-view points that Sonnen is always getting in on.

In a text sent to MMAFighting, Dana White discussed Silva’s demands for a potential fight with Sonnen and took a huge, steaming dump on them in less than 100 characters. Now that’s how you efficiently run a business!

[Silva] said he won’t fight him unless he gets PPV [points] so I guess he’s gonna retire.

Yeah, you hear that Wandy? Only true mixed martial artists get a slice of the pay-per-view-point pie. I’m talking about the Brock Lesnars and the James Toneys of the world, you bum! Now go home and get your fucking shinebox!

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In Case You Missed It: Chael Sonnen Is Too Sweet to Be Sour, Calls Out Wanderlei Silva in Post-Fight Promo [VIDEO]


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

It’s kind of scary how quickly Chael Sonnen can flip the switch from normal human being to his pro-wrestling alter ego (“Chael Mysterio”?) — but we all caught another glimpse of it on Saturday night, following his unexpected guillotine-choke finish of Mauricio “Shogun” Rua at UFC Fight Night 26. First, Sonnen shouts out his grandmother and friend who are both fighting cancer, while rocking a shiny pink ribbon on his walkout shirt. And then…bang. It’s time to cut that promo:

I’m the man of the hour, Joe, too sweet to be sour, what you see is what you get, and what you don’t is better yet. I’m the women’s pick I’m the men’s regret, and if you went against Chael Sonnen you made a bad bet. Now… [*hold for applause*]

Right here, on the UFC’s new home, FOX, Sports, 1, Wanderlei Silva [*hold for applause/boos*]…six feet tall and 205 pounds, boy, until I met you I didn’t know they could stack crap that high. [*hold for applause. At this point, you really expect Jim Ross to say 'my goodness' from the broadcast desk*]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I will let you know when I’m done, Joe, I just got done with a world champion, if you don’t think I won’t add a middle-aged comedian just for the goddamn pleasure of it, you better think again. Wanderlei Silva, three months, you and the bad guy!

Last night, Silva tweeted that the UFC hasn’t called him yet to set up the fight, while Vitor Belfort tried to score the matchup for himself. We’ll see which Brazilian earns the pleasure of fighting the American heel, but in the meantime, Sonnen is a hot commodity again.

Highlights from Sonnen’s win against Rua are after the jump…

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Four UFC PPV Main Events That Were Worse Than Rampage vs. Ortiz


(For ten years, Rampage has been haunted by the memory of that brutal photo-bombing. And on November 2nd, he’ll have his revenge. Bellator 106: Bitter Homeboys, only on pay-per-view.)

By Matt Saccaro

The announcement of Bellator’s inaugural pay-per-view was met with almost-universal criticism in the MMA world. And with good reason. Tito Ortiz vs. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson would have been a terrible main event in 2009, let alone 2013. But with the way people have been mocking it, you’d think that it was the first time a major MMA promotion had a bad fight main eventing a PPV.

This, of course, isn’t the case. The UFC has put on several PPVs whose main events rival Rampage-Ortiz in outright shittyness. For some reason, those PPVs didn’t draw the media’s collective derision like Rampage-Ortiz did. (It’s almost as if the mainstream MMA media is being coerced by some powerful, credential-wielding force…) But that’s OK; CagePotato is here to bring those terrible main events to justice.

So just what has the UFC given us to watch on Saturday nights that was as bad as the upcoming Rampage-Ortiz train wreck? Let’s have a look.

UFC 106: Tito Ortiz vs. Forrest Griffin II

Cracked skull vs. Xanax-laden stupor.

People might not agree with this pick, but Ortiz-Griffin II was an awful main event. By 2009, Ortiz wasn’t important enough to pay for — no matter who he was fighting. Going into the fight with Forrest Griffin, he was 1-2-1 in his last four fights, with his only win coming against Ken Shamrock in 2006. Tito’s best days were far behind him. In fact, he hadn’t beaten anyone NOT named Ken Shamrock since 2006 (and, coincidentally, it was Forrest Griffin who he beat).

Griffin, too, had whatever the opposite of “a head of steam” is going into UFC 106. Rashad Evans embarrassed him at UFC 92, taking the light heavyweight belt in the process. But what Evans did to him seemed tame compared to the legendary beat down that Anderson Silva bestowed on Griffin at UFC 101.

Put these ruts together and you get an overpriced PPV — $60 to watch two guys who would never be relevant again.

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BREAKING: Brian Stann Retires From MMA, Cites Potential Health Risks and New Daughter Among Reasons for Departure


(*Another* new castmember? This show has officially jumped the shark.) 

Wow.

When it was announced earlier today that Ariel Helwani would be hosting a special edition of The MMA Hour in which “a former champion, and one of the most popular names in the sport, will make a special announcement,” speculation began to light up the interwebs like it was a Simi Valley fireworks show. Was Brock Lesnar announcing his return to the sport? Was Bellator dumb enough to actually buy into Tito Ortiz’s “almost healthy” bait-n-switch? WAS ANDERSON SILVA ABOUT TO RETIRE?!

Simply put; no (thank God), not yet, and are you fucking kidding me? It turns out that the “former champion” is question was actually former WEC light heavyweight champ Brian Stann, who shockingly announced his retirement from the sport following his second round KO loss to Wanderlei Silva at UFC on FUEL 8 last March. Citing a new daughter on the way (his third) as well as a concern for long term injuries related to not only his MMA career but his military career and previous football experience among his reasons for calling it quits, Stann was typically composed and grateful, ensuring Helwani that “I leave fighting having taken more from mixed martial arts than I ever gave.”

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Friday Link Dump: Wandy Wants “Dream” Fight With Sonnen in Brazil, Johny Hendricks Trains With Tyson, 25 Absolutely Ridiculous Daytime Television Screenshots + More


(Goood…let the cake flow through you. To honor Nikita “The Al Capone” Krylov’s debut, here are the 50 Funniest Caucasian Gangster Photos via WorldWideInterWeb.com.)

Wanderlei Silva wants Chael Sonnen for “Dream” Fight in Brazil (BleacherReport)

[VIDEO] Johny Hendricks Trains With Mike Tyson (FightDay)

Lack of Reaction to Stephan Bonnar UFC Hall of Fame Announcement Speaks Volumes (MMAFighting)

And The Most Desirable Woman of 2013 Is…(MensFitness)

Where Are They Now? Your Favorite WWE Stars of the ’80s (Complex)

Freestyle Fantasy: Hot Chicks Doing Cool Things (Break)

The 33 Most Influential Events Of The Last 10 Years: A Summary For Average Joes (DoubleViking)

Is The Scripps National Spelling Bee Evil? (Deadspin)

25 Absolutely Ridiculous Daytime Television Screenshots (EgoTV)

Weekend Movie Guide: M. Night Weiner Kids Presents ‘After Earth’ (FilmDrunk)

10 Great Metal Performances from the ’90s on American Television (MetalInjection)

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Quote of the Day: Did Jon Jones Beat Some Much-Needed Humility Into Chael Sonnen?


(“And you tell Anderson that if he wants the true middleweight belt, he can ask me nicely and I will have it back by lunch!” Photo via Getty Images.)

When asked by MMA Heat’s Karyn Bryant about the likelihood of a potential fight with Wanderlei Silva next, Chael P. Sonnen recently stated the following (emphasis mine):

I’m not looking for it anymore, I don’t like to bully guys. I tried to fight him, he doesn’t want to fight. I’m not gonna stick a finger in a guy’s chest. If a guy says ‘no,’ I’m not gonna be a jerk about it. 

We shit you not, that quote (not the caption one, that’s fake and you damn well know it) came directly from the mouth of Chael P. Sonnen. As in the Chael P. Sonnen who once threatened to smack Anderson Silva’s wife on the ass. As in the Chael P. Sonnen who once declared that Lance Armstrong gave himself cancer through PED use (which to be fair, he got the PED part right). As in the Chael P. Sonnen who called Wanderlei Silva a “dirtbag” some three weeks ago when challenging him to a fight in the first place.

Either Jon Jones succeeded where Anderson Silva failed and managed to actually beat some humility into “The American Gangster” or Wandy’s threat to “suck his blood” was just a little too far outside the comfort zone of his Christian, conservative-Republican background to tolerate. Or Wandy has been offered the fight, turned it down, and is pulling another prank on us. Or Joe Silva dropped his cell phone in the toilet and hasn’t had access to the Internet since April.

Whatever the case may be, we suddenly, like, really need to see this fight. So touche, Chael. Tou-fuckin’-che.

-J. Jones 

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[VIDEO] Wanderlei Silva Responds to Chael Sonnen’s Twitter Challenge With Some Weird, Scary Statements

In typical Chael Sonnen fashion, the outspoken whateverweight recently issued a challenge to Wanderlei Silva with a 24-hour expiration date. Apparently Sonnen’s ability to lose fights yet subsequently talk himself into main events has confused him to the point that he believes he is a UFC matchmaker. Sure, Silva is coming off of an impressive knockout win and yes, Sonnen has lost two in a row. But when has being on a career downturn ever stopped the “American Gangster” from getting fights with more famous fighters who are actually winning before?

“I gave him the timeline…if he doesn’t answer, I’m done and I’ll move on,” Sonnen said from his Fuel TV analyst’s seat this week.

Wanderlei finally responded to Sonnen’s challenge yesterday, and thankfully not on Twitter. Silva told Ariel Helwani that he’s never been offered the Sonnen fight by, you know, the people who offer fights in the UFC. Sonnen also apparently didn’t realize that the communication medium of choice for twelve year old girls would mean little to Wanderlei.

When Fuel TV called up Silva for comment on Sonnen’s challenge, Wanderlei took things from the world of Twitter to a much weirder and more frightening place. First off, Helwani said that Silva “laughed uncontrollably” — which, if you’ve ever heard him laugh, is scary enough – before adding that, Jon Jones and Anderson Silva have been too nice to Chael. I want to suck his blood. I want to smell it. Not just fight. Not just fight. I want to hurt him…”

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27 Signs You’ve Been an MMA Fan Too Long


(Image via FAIL Blog, obviously.)

By the CagePotato.com Staff

You know you’re a true MMA fan when it starts to negatively affect your work, health, and personal relationships. Check out our latest list below, and let us know which ones apply to you. Props to Buzzfeed for the inspiration.

1. You roll your wrists while blasting “Sandstorm” before every job interview.

2. Kimbo Slice is your favorite professional boxer and Tank Abbott is your favorite author.

3. You used to drive 25 miles to the nearest video store that carried bootlegged copies of King of the Cage events. Now, you complain because there are too many free UFC events on cable.

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Street Fight Funhouse #4: Interview With the Axe Murderer


(Props: YouTube.com/CagePotato)

And now for something completely different: In the latest installment of our “Street Fight Funhouse” series, MMA fighter/comedian Gerald Harris takes a break from the brawlin’ to do his bad lip-reading take on a post-fight conversation between Wanderlei Silva and Gareth A. Davies. If you don’t laugh at this, damn you to hell.

Subscribe to CagePotato’s YouTube channel right here, and be sure to follow Gerald on twitter @GHurricane!

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Chael Sonnen Will Continue Fighting at Light-Heavyweight (Or Franklinweight), Wants Wanderlei Silva Next


(Props: YouTube.com/fueltv)

It takes more than two consecutive ass-kickings to keep a good Gangster down. As I [*cough cough*] PREDICTED, Chael Sonnen has no plans to retire following his recent title-fight loss to Jon Jones, and the American Gangster even has a name in mind for his rebound fight: Wanderlei Silva.

Bruised but in high spirits, Sonnen returned to the UFC Tonight studios yesterday where he discussed the experience of fighting Jones (“like getting into a bear cage”), the slightly-controversial stoppage (Sonnen says he was still defending himself when the referee stepped in), and the prospect of winning the light-heavyweight championship on a toe-related technicality (“I’d have walked out of there to the boos…and I’d never look back!”).

Later in the segment, Kenny Florian asked Sonnen the question on everyone’s mind — is this the end for our hero? Sonnen had this to say…

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