MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: War Machine

And Now He’s Fired: Bellator Fires War Machine Over Domestic Abuse Allegations [UPDATED]


(War Machine in 2007 / Photo via Getty)

Bellator has fired War Machine after a report from TMZ claimed he was involved in a domestic violence investigation.

TMZ’s report claimed the domestic dispute involved three people at War Machine’s Las Vegas home. Two people were reportedly injured so bad they had to go to the hospital. The report claimed one victim was War Machine’s “significant other.”

A tweet from Christy Mack, War Machine’s sort of girlfriend (the “it’s complicated” relationship status was made for them), seems to confirm the report:

Read More DIGG THIS

Bellator 112 Results: Curran Submits Straus With Clutch Rear Naked Choke, Koreshkov Blasts Burrell

Injury considerably dimmed Bellator 112′s star power, with War Machine and Joe Riggs withdrawing from the season 10 welterweight tournament due to injury (as well as Mark Scanlon but he’s not as high profile). We received unheralded fighters Nathan Coy, Cristiano Souza, and Paul Bradley.

Still, the card’s main event featured a featherweight title rematch between champion Daniel Straus and challenger Pat Curran, making it worth the investment of time.

But was the rest of the card worthwhile? Read our main card recap and decide for yourself.

Read More DIGG THIS

Why Can’t War Machine Just Get a Motherf*ckin Slurpee? [VIDEO]


(Warning: Language is waaaaaay NSFWProps: YouTube.com/AlphaMaleShit)

Along with his recently launched Alpha Male Shit clothing line, War Machine‘s media empire now includes a YouTube channel where he rants in his car about strangers who he would have beaten up if he wasn’t on probation. War’s latest video blog is above, and it officially places him in the pantheon of batshit car-rant Hall of Famers like Dan Quinn and Nick Diaz.

Here’s the basic premise: WM goes to a 7-11 to satisfy a Slurpee craving, and the clerk on duty immediately asks him to lower his hoodie, since that’s become a rule in places that are often robbed. Not a huge fan of rules in general, War Machine refuses, and literally uses the phrase “I thought this was America.” Another 7-11 worker threatens to call the cops, so War Machine dumps his Slurpee on the floor in protest — you know, like a child would — then leaves. Re-telling the story fills War Machine with the kind of barely contained rage that Werner Herzog should be narrating over.

War Machine gets himself scarily amped up to obtain a Slurpee at a different 7-11 location. He leaves his phone in the car, still recording (“I don’t want evidence in case I freak out”), and then disappears for an agonizingly long two minutes. Anything could be happening in those two minutes. When he returns with his Slurpee, it’s a relief for everyone. The guy who sold War Machine that Slurpee didn’t know how close he came.

Read More DIGG THIS

Last-Second Christmas Present Ideas: War Machine Launched a Clothing Line, Y’all.


(MICROSOFT PAINT IS ALPHA MALE SHIT! Photo courtesy of Alpha-Male-Shit.myshopify.com. Of course we aren’t joking.)

Do you have some last-second Christmas gifts to buy for the MMA fans in your life? Do said fans often find themselves looking at MMA t-shirts and thinking “Yeah, this assortment of glitter, botched Hanzi and skulls is fantastic, but I need something a little more ridiculous.” Do you have no problems with dropping twenty-five bucks on a shirt that was blatantly designed in Microsoft Paint, and probably in under twenty seconds?

Then do I have some excellent news for you: War Machine has launched a clothing line – subtly called “Alpha Male Shit” – and it is exactly what you’re assuming it is.

Alpha Male Shit solves the dilemma that apparently alpha males face all the time: How does one demonstrate how badass he (or she!) is while doing everyday things like grocery shopping, visiting the zoo or mowing the lawn? The answer, obviously, is to wear a shirt proclaiming that you do Alpha Male Shit; this way, even the alpha male getting his teeth cleaned can remind his dentist that he’s usually more awesome than this. If you think I’m joking, then take a look at what appears to be the brand’s signature design (I base this squarely off the fact that there are four variations – including a female version! – of it in the shop right now):

Read More DIGG THIS

On This Day in MMA History: War Machine Ruins a Porn Star’s Birthday Party


(Photo via emmreport.com, obviously.)

On This Day in MMA History” pays tribute to some of the more bizarre and infamous news stories of MMA’s past. The fiasco described below took place on November 28th, 2009, exactly four years ago today; the following post was published two days later. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

*********

So did you guys do anything crazy this weekend? Like, maybe beat the shit out of half the guest-list at a porn star’s birthday party? No? Well, you’ll never believe this, but that’s exactly what MMA tabloid hero War Machine did on Saturday night. Multiple reports are coming in, so we’ll try to piece this together from what we have…

— On Saturday night, Machine heads out to a b-day party for adult film actress Brooke Haven, held at a porn studio in Van Nuys. He appears to be in good spirits, though he was reportedly pissed off that his agent, Derek Hay (aka “Ben English”), wasn’t getting him enough work.

— Things quickly turn south when War allegedly punches his girlfriend, Alanah Rae, then drags her outside. This part of the story is hazy because although Terez Owens reports that Rae personally confirmed with him that War Machine decked her, she later went on Twitter to deny it. Still, there seems to be no difference in opinion over what happened next…

Read More DIGG THIS

Bellator 104 Recap: Hawn Decisions Weedman, War Machine Takes a Nap, Notable UFC Vets Grove and Sass Victorious


(Spoiler alert: The guys on the left beat the guys on the right.)

By Matt Saccaro

Bellator 104 was one of the promotion’s most stacked cards this season. When Bellator mainstay Karl Amoussou and three UFC vets (Paul Sass, Rob Emerson, and Paul Bradley) are relegated to the prelims, there’s some good or at least decent fights on the main card.

The prelims were exciting and had a few notable happenings.

Cliff Wright vs. Derek Loffer was a thrilling back-and-forth match that saw Wright win via armbar late in the second round.

After that, Brandon Girtz pulled a Chris Leben. No, he didn’t urinate in a bed or fail a drug test. He fought twice in two weeks and won both matches like Leben did back in 2010. Girtz submitted Poppies Martinez and Mike Estus at Bellator 102 and Bellator 104, respectively. And these weren’t Hail Mary submissions; Girtz controlled both guys before torquing their arms.

Then, Rob Emerson—wife stealer and one of a select few men to defeat the next Anderson Silva—heel hooked Jared Downing in under two minutes.

Paul Sass, too, won in short order, this time with a toe hold. His opponent Rod Montoya was seemingly ignorant of the fact that Sass has an amazing guard since he kept taking Sass down. Surprise, surprise, Montoya was submitted.

Unfortunately, Karl Amoussou vs. Paul Bradley couldn’t live up to the exciting standard set by the night’s previous bouts. Bradley won a unanimous decision that saw him lay in a gassed Amoussou’s guard for two out of three rounds.

That ended the prelims and brought us into the main card on Spike, which started with *gulps* a Bellator heavyweight fight between Eric Prindle and Peter Graham. It started out alright enough, with Graham nearly finishing Prindle, but then it quickly descended into the usual Bellator heavyweight routine: Heavy breathing, long periods of inactivity, and looping, exhausted punches. At the last second, Graham hit Prindle with a front kick to the face that floored him. Graham won via unanimous decision.

Read the recap for the Bellator 104 main card after the jump.

Read More DIGG THIS

Bellator 100 Results & Videos: War Machine Marches On, Saunders Is Damn Near Decapitated


(Douglas Lima vs. Ben Saunders. KO at 11:04)

Friday night’s Bellator 100 card main event saw Douglas Lima earn another welterweight title shot with a second round-knockout of Ben Saunders in Bellator’s Season 8 Welterweight Tournament Final. In the first round, both men went hard on the feet with Saunders also seeking unsuccessfully to take the fight to the ground.

In the second stanza, Lima found his range and began to take it to Saunders, dropping him to the mat with a right hand. Saunders was cut badly by the shot but survived until the final thirty seconds of the round when Lima connected with a right kick to the head that put the “Killa B” out for good.

Deja vu alert: Lima and Saunders had previously squared off at Bellator 57 back in November 2011, with Lima scoring a second-round KO in that fight as well, to win Season Five’s Welterweight Tournament. Last night’s stoppage, however, was twice as ugly. Check out the video above to see what we mean.

Bellator 100 also featured the quarterfinals of the Season Nine Welterweight Tournament (confused yet?), with War Machine and Vaughn Anderson engaging in a ground war for two rounds before the troubled TUF veteran finished it with a rear naked choke.

War Machine took Anderson down early in the first but was swept. From there, WM attempted a couple triangle choke attempts that were shrugged off by Anderson. The round ended with WM back on his feet. In the second round, WM again took Anderson down, securing a crucifix position and landing strikes.

Anderson escaped that hold only to give up his back. WM got hold of his neck, sunk in a rear naked choke and forced Anderson unconscious, at which point the referee stepped in and called a halt to the fight. War Machine is now 2-0 since his last jail stint, and advances to the Season Nine Welterweight Semi-Finals on October 18th.

Full card results and more fight videos after the jump!

Read More DIGG THIS

Friday Link Dump: Jones vs. Gustafsson Extended Preview, Nerdiest UFC Fighters, Touchdown Celebration Fails + More


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

TUF 18 Interview: Going 1-on-1 With Jessamyn Duke After Episode 1 (BleacherReport)

And the Latest War Machine Tweet That Might Get Him Fired Is… (MMAFighting)

Report: Johny Hendricks Has Yet to File VADA Paperwork (BloodyElbow)

Jade Bryce always knows how to brighten our day. (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

Mayweather Guaranteed $41.5 Million for Canelo Fight (MMAPayout)

GRAPHIC: Australian Muay Thai Fighter Breaks Leg After His Kick Is Checked (MiddleEasy)

The UFC’s Five Nerdiest Fighters (MMAConvert)

Heidi Klum’s Hottest Instagrams (MadeMan)

The 25 Worst Touchdown Celebration Fails (Complex)

Strength Training for Marathon Runners (MensFitness)

Must See: 8 Strange and Hilarious Craigslist Ads (DoubleViking)

Scary Video: Elephant Rams Car (EgoTV)

Broncos Cheerleader Gives America a Show (Break)

Read More DIGG THIS

War Machine Makes Twitter Rape Jokes, Bellator Gives Him A Not-So-Stern Talking To


(Posting this image alone seems inappropriate enough given the “context” of this article, but we’ll get to that in a minute.) 

The man formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver but now spoken only of in terrified whispers as “War Machine” just can’t stop making himself look like an absolute dipshit. Or won’t stop.

The twice imprisoned Bellator welterweight has been fired in the past for making his insane thoughts public, to the point that he is currently the face of the “Think Twice, Then Type” campaign on the social networking site. His most recent remark, also on Twitter, may be his worst to date. However, it does not appear that his employer cares in the slightest.

Just raped @ChristyMack She tried to make me wait until “after errands” As if! =p” War Machine tweeted August 10th.

Christy Mack, of course, is his adult film actress girlfriend.

Koppenhaver went on to declare that, “Real men rape. (Their GF’s and wives, not strangers, don’t get your panties in a bunch.)” Yes, Mr. Machine, let us not jump to conclusions when judging your moral turpitude.

As one would expect, Machine’s latest musings were not received without criticism. Thankfully, we can all rest assured knowing that Machine’s thoughts — which he typed himself, mind you — were taken out of context.

“Apparently you idiots didn’t read my tweet prior to the one y’all are crying about, it puts it in the right context. Sensitive ass bitches,” he scribed, likely while wearing an ascot and smoking a corncob pipe. “Context is the word…y’all motherfuckers just love to take what I say out of CONTEXT and then attempt to demonize me with it. #DIESLOW.”

Read More DIGG THIS

Photo of the Day: War Machine & Christy Mack Validate Their Relationship With Matching Ink


(Two tattoos, zero real names. Photo via War Machine’s Twitter.)

According to our poll, a staggering 55.3% of you believed that former TUF star and current Bellator badass War Machine had the hottest pornstar girlfriend of them all in Ms. Christy Mack (to the 2 people who suggested “our mom,” that doesn’t even make sense. To the man/woman who suggested GSP & Dakota Cochrane, bravo.). Clearly, Mr. Machine agrees with this sentiment, which is why he and his significant other got coordinating tattoos over the weekend. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned about a pornstar’s love, it’s that it’s forever.

On the heels of a first round TKO over Blas Avena in his Bellator debut, it appears that War Machine is riding pretty high these days. Gone are the days of assaulting his pornstar girlfriends at parties and, well, assaulting the patrons of Vegas gay clubs. Nowadays, a humbler, simpler War Machine can be found “crucifying” his pornstar girlfriend (his words, not ours) on Twitter when he’s not giving Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu lessons to children whose parents have clearly never visited BeenVerified.com. It’s the American dream, really, and we wish these two kids the best of luck.

-J. Jones

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA