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Tag: War Machine

War Machine Re-Signs With Bellator; May Compete in Season 6 Welterweight Tournament


(“I’ve turned over a new leaf, Fujiko. So no funny stuff this time. Just a normal Swedish massage and asshole wax, please.”)

War Machine‘s career comeback is picking up steam. After his third-round TKO victory against Roger Huerta last month — War’s first match after spending a year in prison for assault — the previously-troubled welterweight has announced his signing with Bellator: “So it’s now official public knowledge. I signed with Bellator and will be in the next welterweight tournament. [I] can’t wait to be back fighting on live television with the big boys.”

Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney confirmed the signing, though not War Machine’s participation in the next welterweight bracket; his debut date and opponent is yet to be announced. As Rebney told MMAJunkie, “Jon’s not had an easy road. And there’s no doubt he’s made some poor choices, but after having had conversations with him since his release, he really seems to understand where and why things went wrong and wants to make them right…I hope he’s able to turn this second chance into something positive.”

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War Machine TKO’s Roger Huerta in Post-Prison Debut [VIDEO]

[VIDEO REMOVED BY REQUEST.]

After a year in the pokey, War Machine finally returned to competition Saturday night at Ultimate Warrior Fighting 1 in Pharr, Texas, where he faced off against former UFC lightweight darling Roger Huerta in the event’s welterweight headliner. And even though prison ring-rust has to be the worst kind of ring-rust — nutraloaf and sandwich masturbation don’t exactly make for an ideal fighter lifestyle — Mr. Machine handled himself admirably, out-hustling Huerta in a gritty back-and-forth scrap.

Unfortunately, Huerta broke his rib during a scramble in round three, seemingly when War sneaks in that knee at the video’s 15:10 mark. War Machine took advantage of Huerta’s weakened state and laid on punches from the top until the match was stopped. And so, War Machine writes the first chapter of his unlikely comeback story, while Huerta picks up the fifth loss in his last six attempts.

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The Eight Greatest Pranks in ‘Ultimate Fighter’ History

In the early days of The Ultimate Fighter, simply spraying water on a sleeping person was considered a brilliant prank. But after 14 seasons, the bar has been steadily raised for in-house trickery, to the point where even the coaches are now gleefully stripping cars of their tires. We thought we’d pay tribute to the TUF prank tradition by running down the most infamous pranks of the show’s history. Enjoy, and let us know if we’ve left out any of your favorites…

The Pink Room (Season 10)

See, this is what I’m talking about. Any moron can piss on a bed — but it takes a man to spend all afternoon painting walls pink and arranging stuffed animals in vaguely sexual poses. The best moment is at the very end, when Rashad Evans comes to the realization that the pacifier he’d been sucking on had definitely been up Tiki’s ass at some point.

See also: The Chickenmobile, The Team Portrait

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War Machine vs. Gideon Ray Scrapped Due to Injuries; Sean McCorkle Steps in as CCC 4 Headliner


(Still got it.)

Another super-fight, up in smoke. Chicago’s MMA informs us that War Machine‘s post-prison return fight against Gideon Ray has been scratched from the main event of Chicago Cagefighting Championship 4 (October 15th; Villa Park, IL). From a press-release sent out by the promoter:

Over the weekend Gideon informed Chicago Cagefighting that he had suffered an injury to his hand and would not be able to compete. To compound problems, War Machine suffered a cut to his chin during training and is not able to train for at least a week. When a suitable replacement for Gideon could not be found, we made a tough decision. With only three weeks to the event we were forced to cancel the entire bout.

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War Machine Booked Against Gideon Ray in October, Agrees to Fight Roger Huerta in November


(Image via @warmachine170)

After all the ink we gave to War Machine‘s deep thoughts about D.I.Y. asshole-plucking and bologna sex fantasies while in prison, it only seems fair that we should keep you updated on his actual MMA career. (Ed. note: zzzzzzz) The eccentric UFC veteran has been a free man since July, and his fall dance card is starting to fill up.

On Saturday, October 15th, War Machine will headline Chicago Cagefighting Championship 4, which goes down at the Odeum Expo Center in Villa Park, IL. His opponent will be TUF 4 castmember and “local fan favorite” Gideon Ray, who hasn’t competed since last July. The card will also feature Carson Beebe, Josh Shockley, and Chico Camus. Tickets start at just $20.

But a bigger fight looms on the horizon…

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Wednesday Morning MMA Link Club

Fedor Emelianenko Strikeforce backstage post-fight Dan Henderson MMA photos
(Fedor Emelianenko, immediately after his loss to Dan Henderson on Saturday night. Photo via Darren Shuster, PR Representative for Dragon Door/RKC)

Some selected highlights from our friends around the MMA blogosphere. E-mail feedback@cagepotato.com for details on how your site can join the MMA Link Club…

- Dan Henderson Gets Caught on National Television Spanking Dat Ass at a Cardinals Game (MMA Mania)

- Herb Dean Defends Controversial Stoppage in Fedor Emelianenko vs. Dan Henderson Fight (5thRound)

- After Release from Prison, War Machine Looking for Fresh Start (MMA Fighting)

- Leonard Garcia out of UFC Live 5 With Injury; Jim Hettes to Replace Against Alex Caceres (Five Ounces of Pain)

- UFC’s Rich Franklin Discusses Career, Life and Fans Asking for His Underwear (BleacherReport.com/MMA)

- Photo Gallery: Vitor Belfort Prepares for UFC 133 Bout With Yoshihiro Akiyama (LowKick)

- Video: 20 of the Most ‘WTF?’ Moments in UFC History (MiddleEasy)

- A Conquistador Story: Looking Back on Jorge Rivera vs. Travis Lutter (MMA Convert)

- Dan Henderson’s Win Over Fedor Builds Momentum for TRT Usage/Acceptance (FightOpinion)

- Ben Askren on Season Five of Bellator, Nate Marquardt and Fight With Hector Lombard (TheFightNerd)

- Following Burger King Deal, Anderson Silva Inks Sponsorships With Nike and Brazilian Soccer Club (MMAPayout)

- What’s Next for ‘Fedor vs. Henderson’ Winners and Losers? (NBC Sports MMA)

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War Machine Explains Himself


(“I call this sub ‘The Prison Rape.’”

War Machine is out of jail which is sad for us fans of his Big House Blogs, but on the bright side we’ll be reading a lot more interviews from the man formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver.

USCombatSports.com snagged War’s first post-prison interview and let’s just say that it didn’t disappoint.

Check out some of the highlights after the jump.

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And So It Ends: War Machine’s Last Big House Blog…At Least for Now


(Video courtesy of YouTube/WEEZER)

It’s a bittersweet week for both fans of War Machine and fans of War Machine’s Big House Blogs. The fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver is set to be released from jail on Friday, which means the only blogs we’re going to get from here on out (unless of course he ends back in the clink) will be about his training regimens, his married life and thoughts on the world. Something tells me that being behind bars contributed to how deranged some of his deep thoughts were the past year and it’s likely that being on the outside will change all that.

Let’s hope I’m dead wrong.

Until he proves me wrong, go ahead and savor your last instalment of War Machine’s Big House Blogs after the jump.

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Instant Bestseller Alert: War Machine is Writing a Book

Our favorite MMA convict, War Machine is a free man in just under a month and when he gets out, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver wants all of us to know that even though his Big House Blogs will cease, he plans on continuing to entertain us with an autobiography he has been penning the past few months behind bars.

You know you’ll read it, especially if he details his short-lived porn career and his multiple brushes with the law.

Check out what he had to say about his tome and his final weeks in jail in his two latest blog entries after the jump.

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The 16 Most Notorious Arrests in MMA History


(Spit-bags: The sure sign of a bad time. Photo courtesy of TMZ.)

By Ben Goldstein and Jason Moles

The rule applies in any profession: For every law-abiding nice-guy, there’s an unstable son-of-a-bitch who you’d never want to leave your kids alone with. And so, we decided to take a ride through MMA’s shadowy history of assault, robbery, vandalism, drug-smuggling, and other nasty behavior — the most infamous examples of fighters living dangerously and paying the price…

#16: Jeff Monson
Arrested for: First-degree malicious mischief; assault on a female and injury to real property

It’s never a good idea to have evidence of your law-breaking published nationally. In a bizarre lapse of judgment, heavyweight veteran Jeff Monson was busted after he allowed ESPN the Magazine to photograph him spray-painting an anarchy symbol on the Washington state capitol building. Though the charge packed a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison, the Snowman was able to plead down to three months. Just days later, Monson was arrested again when a domestic dust-up with one of his many love-interests resulted in an overturned grandfather clock and a fist-shaped hole in the wall; those charges were later dismissed.

#15: Kim Couture
Arrested for: Domestic violence

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