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Tag: War Machine

Spooky Halloween News: War Machine Is Doing Porn

Well, this new development is appropriately terrifying for Halloween.  War Machine, the fighter formally known as Jon Koppenhaver, has decided to do away with any lingering shreds of dignity that might have been clinging to him without his knowledge, and has officially become a porn star.  The video above shows him receiving his first ass waxing to make his butt camera-ready, and while it probably wasn’t necessary for him to post that to YouTube he did perform a public service by letting all the kids out there know that life as a porn star isn’t all glamour and lube.  There’s actually some unsavory elements to it.  Who knew?

He says he shot his first scene with Riley Steele and described it as "fucking awesome," before explaining that he took the gig because fighting wasn’t paying the bills and he refuses to work for a living.  It’s like I’ve always said, when life gives you lemons, make a video of you having sex with those lemons and put it on the internet.

Related:
- War Machine: "F@ck an Obama"
- War Machine Arrested in Vegas
- War Machine Apologizes for Ridiculous Behavior

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Video: Shawn Tompkins Talks Brazilian Time, His “Fighter House,” + More


Shawn Tompkins talks training, future stars – Watch more Funny Videos

I stopped in to Xtreme Couture while I was in Las Vegas last week and in addition to hearing Jan Nortje get yelled at I also got to sit down for a talk with renowned trainer Shawn Tompkins, which I captured in all its low quality glory on my Flip Mino camera.  Here’s a few minutes from our conversation where we discussed Wanderlei Silva and Brazilian time, why Mark Coleman’s always broke, and who Tompkins has really been impressed by in the gym lately.  The answer to that last question might surprise you.  I know it shocked the hell out of me.

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War Machine Scores Third-Straight Win at ‘UWC: Capital Punishment”


(Props: MMA Linker)

To everyone who thought War Machine would self-distruct and disappear after being kicked out of the UFC, fired from Bellator, and arrested following a fracas at a gay club — well, allow him to grab his crotch in your direction. On Saturday night, the always outspoken, rarely coherent TUF 6 vet won for the third time since his UFC exit, putting away opponent Reshad Woods via second-round rear-naked choke at an Ultimate Warrior Challenge event in Fairfax, Virginia.

Say what you want about this retard, but he does know how to put on an entertaining fight…

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Videos: ‘UFC 2009 Undisputed’ Intros, Junie Prepares for War + More



(Props: MMA Mania)

THQ has released some more preview footage from UFC 2009 Undisputed, showing Da Spyder and Da Troof getting their pre-fight introductions. For more intros, hit up videogamer.com.

Below: RawVegas catches up with Junie Browning at Xtreme Couture and discusses his upcoming matchup with Cole Miller and his new training partner, War Machine. On War: "I think he’s a cool dude. That’s the kind of guy I would hang out with outside of here. [Ed. note: God help us all.] You get a lot of computer warriors and people like that, but they don’t really know a person…I think people get the wrong interpretation of him."


After the jump
: NFL linebacker Dhani Jones learns some Muay Thai in a clip from his new show Dhani Tackles the Globe — which premieres March 16th on the Travel Channel — and an epic board-breaking fail.

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If You’re Interested: War Machine vs. Guillaume De Lorenzi @ XMMA 7


(Props: Bloody Elbow)

As mentioned yesterday, War Machine won his bout against the previously-undefeated Guillaume De Lorenzi at Friday night’s XMMA 7 event, ending the fight with a rear-naked choke after some back-and-forth grappling — which is also how he defeated Darren Zatkow in Spetember 2007. Luckily, he didn’t get probation for this one. Score!

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Weekend Quick Hits: War Machine Wins, Swick Gets an Opponent, Rahman Is Screwing With Us


(War Machine slips into a brief trance.  This is why we say no flash photography around him, people.)

- Competing at last night’s XMMA event in Montreal, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver earned a submission victory over previously unbeaten Guillaume “El Toro” Delorenzi via rear naked choke.  When reached for the comment, the citizens of the world replied, “War Machine?  That guy who threatened the president on MySpace?  He fights?”

- Mike “Quick” Swick will face Ben Saunders at UFC 99 in Germany, according to Five Ounces of Pain.  Saunders last competed against Brandon Wolff, the fighter War Machine refused to face due to fears that he might be both good and relatively unknown, thus earning his dismissal from the UFC.  Using his height and a series of brutal knees, Saunders made quick work of Wolff at "Fight for the Troops."  Now he gets Swick in Germany.  Why not.

- After insisting that he’s been in negotiations with Strikeforce to give this MMA stuff a try, it seems as if Hasim Rahman is even more full of shit than we suspected.  Strikfeforce’s Mike Afromowitz told MMA Fanhouse there has been “no dialogue” with Rahman or his manager about a fight with Kimbo Slice, as Rahman’s manager had claimed.  Maybe by ‘talking to Strikefore’ he really meant ‘watching old Strikeforce fights on the internet?’  As for Kimbo, Afromowitz described those talks as “ongoing.” 

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War Watch: Machine Fights “Il Toro” Tonight in Montreal

War Machine MMA XMMA Guillaume de Lorenzi
(Image courtesy of XMMA.tv)

Well at least there’s one brave, honest MMA organization left in the world that’s willing to take a chance on War Machine despite his arrests and controversial views on American politics. Canadian league XMMA is holding an event tonight in Montreal which features the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver in the main event against Guillaume "Il Toro" de Lorenzi. De Lorenzi is a perfect 5-0 in MMA competition with all wins by TKO, the last four of which came in the first round.

Machine is actually a replacement for Phil Baroni, who pulled out of the match against "Il Toro" two weeks ago when Strikeforce acquired his contract from Pro Elite; Baroni expects to make his Strikeforce return in May. Machine — who most recently scored a first-round TKO win over David Anderson at a Desert Rage event in November — still has about ten hours to do something stupid enough to get him kicked off the show, which is like eight weeks in normal-people time. So cross your fingers for him, and if you’ll actually be buying the XMMA pay-per-view broadcast, let us know how it goes.

Related: War’s gay club brawl? Totally started by someone else.

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Videos: Fedor Fights Non-Professional With Predictable Results, + More


(Props: Free Fight Videos)

Fedor Emelianenko won the Russian Combat Sambo Championships this weekend.  Again.  All his fights in this tournament combined took less than a minute, including the one-sided finale above.  I know the Russians get a big kick out of seeing Fedor dominate this stuff, but I don’t see how.  Sure, he lost recently in the World Championships, on points, but still.  It’s like watching Kobe Bryant play in a tournament at your local YMCA.  Yeah, it might be cool to see him dunk on some dentist who played point guard in high school twenty years ago, but that novelty wears off quickly, especially if Kobe keeps showing up every year. 

In other Fedor news, Josh Gross says the fight with Josh Barnett could go down in July.  Kevin Iole is doing some public speculating about the UFC trying to lure Fedor to compete at UFC 100, which would also be in July.  If you had to lay odds, a fight with Barnett in Affliction seems like the safer bet, assuming Affliction is still in the fight business by then.

After the jump, War Machine gives an uncomfortable interview to RawVegas.tv in which he lays out his plan to commit suicide at a date to be determined in the future and also describes thinking before he acts as “hard.”  Indeed.  

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Videos: Randy Couture Talks Cro Cop, War Machine Talks Troubles, + More

Watch Cage Fashion Show at Mix with Randy Couture on RawVegas.tv

RawVegas.tv sent Arianny Celeste to some weirdo MMA fashion show (I’m sorry, was that one dude wearing no shirt and a backpack?  How is that MMA related?) where she talked to Randy Couture about rumors that he may face Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic at UFC 99 in Germany.  Despite Fighters Only reporting that Couture flat out isn’t interested, he tells Arianny it’s a “possibility” if he gets done shooting “The Expendables” in time to get a full camp in.  Now that’s…disappointing.  As awesomely clichéd an action movie as that promises to be, isn’t Couture still a fighter?  And as such, shouldn’t fighting be his priority now that time is running out on his career?

The fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver stopped by Steve Cofield’s radio show to discuss his legal troubles, and insists that these instances of assault were all misunderstandings.  You see, he’s actually the victim.  Wouldn’t be no trouble if people would stop forcing him to hurt them.  Interesting explanations.  Now what about those MySpace posts?

After the jump, “MMA Live” previews UFC 95.

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CagePotato Comments of the Week: In Which Goog Owned All Your Asses

Nick Diaz Nate Diaz Stockton

This week we saw a CP reader named "Goog" emerge from obscurity to make a seriously strong case for CagePotato Commenter Rookie of the Year. Honestly, it was just win, win, win, and more win with this guy. Here were three of his best moments…  

Goog on "Quebec Athletic Commission May Block UFC 97 From Happening in Montreal": It was probably all just a matter of miscommunication, because I don’t think there’s anyone in the world, even Canada, that doesn’t know James Thompson will eventually hit the ground.

Goog on "War Machine Arrested in Vegas": And don’t count him out too long. You know he’ll only be there two days and he’ll say something that gets him thrown out of prison.

Goog on "Stockton, Stand Up! …And Move to Pretty Much Any Other City in the Nation": Maybe it’s so miserable BECAUSE the Diaz brothers are there. If you could get them to leave, you’d probably be looking at the next Boston.

Amazing. We’ll also give a nod to Ouch! That hurts on the aforementioned ‘Stockton sucks’ post, who wrote: Perhaps the Stockton chamber of commerce should stop using their slogan "Don’t be scared, homie"

Anyway, Goog my man, you’re eligible for up to three CagePotato "Hall of Fame" t-shirts. E-mail your real name, address, and shirt size(s) to feedback@cagepotato.com. Same goes for you, Ouch!, except you only get one. Try harder next time.

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