(“You are SO lucky I’m wearing shoes that restrict my movement to baby steps or I’d knock you out right here.” Photo courtesy of MMAFighting.)

All 22 fighters scheduled to compete on tomorrow night’s UFC on FOX: Johnson vs. Dodson card will be hitting the scales live from the Chicago Theatre in, you guessed it, Chicago starting at 5 p.m. EST. Luckily for you, we will be hosting a video of the weigh-ins RIGHT HERE. I know, right? The things we do to ensure that you guys are happy.

Anyway, the weigh-ins kick off in just a few minutes, so get in here for all the action!

(My God, Daniel Cormier is going to WRECK this dude.) 

Tomorrow night, the once great promotion known as Strikeforce will fade into obscurity, joining the ranks of such infinitely-inferior-yet-similarly-dissolved promotions as Affliction, EliteXC, and the oft forgotten Tank Abbott’s Backyard Brawlin’ Beergut Buddies.

So with their future careers on the line, make sure to swing by CagePotato at 5 p.m. EST to catch weigh-ins for all of the fighters participating at tomorrow’s Strikeforce: Pros vs. Joes event. Who knows? Maybe some of the randoms plucked from MMA obscurity will be too scared to show up, or piss themselves when they realize the huge mistake they’ve made. In either case, it should be fun.

(Oh yeah, they’ll be plenty of this. And we definitely don’t mean the “thoughts” part.) 

With a lineup that would challenge any UFC pay-per-view event in recent memory, UFC on FOX 5: Henderson vs. Diaz will come storming into your living rooms tomorrow night at 8 p.m. EST. You know what that means for tonight — some dudes are going to mean mug and possibly shove some other dudes that hopefully weigh-in at the same weight as the first dudes. Confused? Then join us after the jump and we’ll sort this all out for you, and make sure to swing by tomorrow at 8 p.m. to catch our liveblog of all the action!

Travis Browne, Antonio Silva, Jay Hieron, and all of the players in tomorrow night’s UFC on FX: Browne vs. Bigfoot card are set to hit the scales tonight from the Pantages Theatre in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The event will be broadcast live starting at 5 p.m. EST, and wouldn’t you know it, we happen to have TOTALLY EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE of the weigh-ins right here!

OK, so maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but we will be covering all the action, so make sure to swing by at 5 p.m. today for the staredowns and 8 p.m. tomorrow for all our liveblog coverage of UFC on FX 5.

(TICKLE FIGHT!! Photo via MMAMania.)

Though it lacked the shoulder-checking excitement of the UFC 148 weigh-ins, last night’s UFC on FUEL 4 weigh-ins were not without their fair share of close calls. Mainly, that of Rafael Natal, Francis Carmont, and Alex Caceres, who all had to drop trou in order to make weight for their scheduled contests with Andrew Craig, Karlos Vemola, and Damacio Page, respectively. Caceres went au naturale right off the get-go to make 136, whereas Natal and Carmont managed to shed a pound following the aforementioned removal of their trousers, which must have been lined with a paper thin piece of iron or had a ham sandwich in the back pocket. Mark Munoz, on the other hand, squeaked in at the 186 pound limit for his main event matchup with fellow wrestling standout Chris Wediman.

And speaking of ham sandwiches/UFC 148, Subway aficionado Jay Glazer sat down alongside Ariel Helwani and recently dispatched middleweight contender Chael Sonnen to break down tonight’s main event, as well as discuss Sonnen’s UFC 148 loss and his future in the sport after the weigh-ins had concluded. We gotta give props to Glazer, who came right out and asked Sonnen, “What the hell were you thinking with that spinning elbow?” to which Sonnen responded in good humor, “I wish I could tell you…but I fell down like a doofus and I gotta live with it.” That you do, Chael. That you do.

Check out both of those videos and the full weigh-in results after the jump, and make sure to swing by CagePotato at 7 p.m. EST, where we will be liveblogging all the action in between heated games of Battleshots.

(Ah, the Rumbleweight Diet, or as it’s known to the general public, the Fatkins diet. Well, played, Mr. Guida.) 

Just a reminder to make sure and swing by CagePotato at 4 p.m. ET/1 p.m. PT to catch the live weigh-ins and results for tomorrow night’s UFC on FX 4: Maynard vs. Guida event, which goes down from the Revel Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Although the card may be somewhat lacking in terms of drawing power, it does feature some top to bottom great matchups that are sure to entertain. And let’s be honest, it’s more stacked than any pay-per-view event you’ll be purchasing stealing this weekend. Aside from the five round main event between perennial lightweight contenders Clay Guida and Gray Maynard, we will be treated to the anticipated trilogy bout between Spencer Fisher and Sam Stout, which may very well be Fisher’s last in the octagon, as well as a pair of great contests between Muay Thai “Bad Boy” Brian Ebersole and submission whiz T.J. Walburger and featherweight sluggers Ross Pearson and Cub Swanson. The undercard kicks off with the long-awaited return of our boy Dan Miller, who will be taking on Brazilian Ricardo Funch.

We will be liveblogging all of the action starting tomorrow at 9 p.m ET, so if your Friday is looking less than spectacular, why not spend an evening with your favorite drunken slobs?

Video and full results after the jump. 

(Diego Sanchez is like the movie Inception: A dream inside of a nightmare inside two more dreams which are actually nightmares. Photos courtesy of MMAJunkie.com)

All fighters made weight at yesterday’s UFC on FUELTV weigh-ins, which seemed to sail by at a faster pace than normal. Maybe it was the lack of name power, or perhaps it was the absence of the usual drama and near brawls that we have become accustomed to over the past few weeks. In either case, it was a reserved, quiet evening for all participants involved. Except Diego Sanchez. He doesn’t do “reserved.”

Instead, we were treated to what appeared to be a night of MMA fighters mimicking the looks of pseudo-celebrities. Sean Loeffler came out posing as the singer from Crazy Town, making it rain on the audience like they were the 2 a.m. shift at Scores, and Jonathan Brookins stuck with the Geico Caveman look that has gotten him some fine honeys up to this point. But the most bizarre shift in appearance undoubtedly went to Dave Herman, who pulled off Neil Fallon TO PERFECTION.*

(BANG BANG BANG BANG! VAMANOS VAMANOS!)

Join us after the jump for the full weigh in video and results.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/UFC)

The weigh-ins for UFC 140 took place in Toronto this afternoon. Unfortunately, we forgot to set our watches to Canadian time, so you’ll have to settle for watching the video after the fact.

Only one fighter didn’t make weight, and since our headline spoils the surprise, you’ve probably figured out it was Dennis Hallman, who was 3.5 lbs over the 155-pound lightweight limit. He decided not to make a second attempt, which is unusual considering how close he was and will instead pay opponent John Makdessi 20 percentof his purse. By our estimation, this is “Superman’s” second strike, so if he doesn’t beat Makdessi, we may him get Miguel Torres’ed tomorrow night.

For those of you who can’t watch the vid at work, the full results are after the jump.