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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tag: WMMA

[VIDEO] Marlon Wayans Fantasizes About Ronda Rousey on Conan, Continues to Be Unfunny


(Skip to the 2:50 mark to see what we’re talking about.)

Every time I hear that Marlon Wayans has another fart-joke-disguised-as-a-movie coming out, I have to remind myself that this is the man who wrote/starred in Don’t Be a Menace and Scary Movie or I’d probably walk into oncoming traffic. I mean, sure, Wayans has been relentlessly eroding our cultural understanding of things like “satire” and “parody” for over a decade now, but it’s hard to blame him when you realize how much money he is making to do so. Despite appearing to be a talentless hack like myself on the outside, Wayans is probably still a generally funny guy (unlike myself) on the inside, right?

Well, his recent appearance on Conan would seem to suggest otherwise. Apparently a big fan of our fair sport, Wayans recently appeared on Conan to promote his latest effort, Ghost Fart 2, and the topic eventually shifted to a tweet he had sent out about another Conan alum, women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey. “This is hot!! Girl on girl! #ufc @ufc @rondaroussey I just wanna smell her training gloves and feet wraps…” wrote Wayans during Rousey’s staredown with Sara McMann, which the UFC bizarrely chose to retweet because hey! A sort-of famous person acknowledged us!

In any case, Conan called out Wayans for his tweet, and Wayans proceeded to discuss his fantasy of having Rousey armbar his penis. It was the kind of joke you’d expect from the guy who honestly thought White Chicks was a funny enough premise to run with for 90 minutes, and I fully expect either Rousey or Dana White to respond negatively to it in the coming days.

I apologize for wasting your time.

-J. Jones 

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ICYMI: Holly Holm Lands Gorgeous Head Kick KO at Legacy FC 30, but Breaks Her Arm


(Photo via Getty)

Holly Holm is two things.

To the sane, she’s a potential money opponent for Ronda Rousey in a sea of female fighters who simply aren’t up to snuff. Holm is closer to Rousey athletically than most other women in MMA.

To the delusional, she’s the Woman to Beat Rousey™. This sentiment is great for selling a PPV, but let’s not kid ourselves. While Holm is head and shoulders above the division, Rousey is mountains above it.

Still, MMA fans like to speculate about such matters. And whenever a fighter like Holm wins a fighter–or a fighter like Cris Cyborg loses one…in a different sport–this speculation reaches a fever pitch.

Holm fought this past Friday at Legacy FC 30. Holm outclassed her opponent, Juliana Werner, throughout the fight and finished her off with a devastating head kick in the fifth round (check out the GIF via @ZProphet_MMA).

This is good news, isn’t it? Cyborg losing a Muay Thai fight erases all her credibility (we don’t actually think this but Dana White probably does), so Holm winning in such a devastating way must’ve impressed White, right?

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Knockout of the Day: A Garbage-Ass WMMA Fight Ends With a Vicious Spinning Backfist


(Props: Hardrock MMA.)

Does anyone remember Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Kevin Jordan at UFC 56: Full Force? Terrible, just awful fight with an awesome ending? Meet the WMMA equivalent of that (or don’t, because we’ve kindly synched you up to the ending).

Yes, what at first was a run-of-the-mill, sloppily-contested amatuer fight between strawweights Joanna Bess and Kerri Jenkins* quickly became the thing of Hardrock MMA legend when Bess apparently enabled Super Saiyan mode by pressing Up, Down, Left, Right A+B+A+B, pulled a spinning backfist from the foulest depths of Hell, and uncorked it all over Jenkins’ mug less than 20 seconds into the third round. You think I’m exaggerating with that description? Listen to the sound her forearm makes when it lands. Look at Jenkins’ post-KO rigor mortis leg. IT LITERALLY FROZE HER IN TIME, GOD DAMMIT.

Joanna Bess is kind of like Robbie Lawler, in that if Joe Rogan was hyping her for a UFC pay-per-view, he would say that she “swings to kill you.”**

*who were both making their amateur debut, so could you even really be mad? 

**which, are you f*ckin’ kidding me, UFC marketing? You’re going to pledge money and support to a fighters brain health study one day and then use *that* line to hype a pay-per-view the next? I believe there’s a phrase for that…oh, what’s it called

-J. Jones

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Ranking the Four Most Likely “Huge Announcement” Opponents for Ronda Rousey

As many of us noted following Ronda Rousey‘s quick win over Sara McMann at UFC 170, the women’s bantamweight division is quickly running out of viable contenders. Watching Rousey dispatch any and all opposition has been thrilling these past couple of years, sure, but it has also shown fans just how far above the skill level of her competitors “Rowdy” truly is. And unlike the middleweight division during the Silva era, the women’s bantamweight division is simply too shallow to keep feeding Rousey journey(wo)men and expecting fans to pay the price of admission.

With the division housing their quote unquote “biggest star” rapidly approaching purgatory, the UFC appears to be in dire need of a change-up. That’s where Joe Rogan steps in, as he did during an interview with KROQ’s Kevin & Bean Show (audio above) last Friday, stating that a “huge announcement” regarding Rousey’s next opponent is coming our way:

I can say no more than I’ve already said. I will tell you this, and this is a KROQ exclusive, within the next probably week or so a huge announcement will come about women’s fighting and I’ll be back in [the studio] and we’ll talk some more. It’s going to be crazy. Madness. I wish I could [talk about it now], but I would betray the confidence of my friend and employer.

Knowing Rogan as well as we do (I think Seth bumped into him at an expo one time, maybe?), this can only mean that Rousey’s next opponent is one of four people. Join us after the jump as we definitively rank those opponents in order of probability.

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Is Holly Holm As Valuable to the UFC as Her Manager Thinks She Is?


(Fresquez and Holm field questions after her win over Angela Hayes on Friday. / Photo via Getty)

By Mark Dorsey

Former world champion boxer Holly Holm is an MMA franchise. She’s a marquee star, a better face of the UFC women’s division than Ronda Rousey, and worth a six-figure contract — at least according to her manager, Lenny Fresquez, who has been making the media rounds lately trying to convince the public that his undefeated client is the only worthy challenger to Rousey’s belt.

Let’s get one thing straight: Calling Holly Holm a “franchise” is ludicrously premature. Georges St-Pierre and Anderson Silva are MMA franchises. Beyond that, the list gets very thin. In fact, the concept of franchise players is fading in every sport as the Lebron Jameses and Jacoby Ellsburys of the sports world show that their loyalty only extends to the highest free market bidder.

The argument could be made that UFC bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey is a franchise athlete. After all, Dana White has admitted that the UFC only created the women’s division because of her. But Holly Holm is not on the same level of recognizability as Rousey. Sure she was a big boxing draw in New Mexico, but being a regional draw does not translate to franchise-level success with a global brand like the UFC.

Chances are, not many outside of the hardcore MMA and boxing fanbase have even heard of Holly Holm. The Holly Holm brand might bring a few new eyeballs from the boxing world but she is certainly not selling a PPV on her own.

However, just because Holly Holm is not a “franchise” does not mean she wouldn’t make a great investment for the UFC’s fledgling women’s division. Holm is a fantastic athlete. Once considered by many as the best female boxer on the planet, she was twice named Ring Magazine’s female Fighter of the Year. Training under Greg Jackson and Mike Winkeljohn, she not only has the physical ability and attributes, she also has the right team around her to be a world champion in MMA.

It’s possible that Holm may one day be a UFC franchise athlete. She certainly has the potential to dominate a women’s division that is severely lacking in high-quality strikers. She could also develop into a legitimate MMA star. She’s personable, good looking and professional. However, she’s not there yet.

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And Now She’s Retired: Julie Kedzie Hangs Up Her Gloves Following Loss at UFC Fight Night 33


(Kedzie — being gawked at by Gina Carano and Gary Shaw — in the good ‘ol bad days of women’s MMA. / Photo via George Ruiz)

When Julie Kedzie dropped a split-decision to Bethe Correia at UFC Fight Night 33, it marked her fourth-consecutive loss in MMA, dropping her lifetime record to 16-13. But even before the scores were read, Kedzie had made up her mind that she had reached the end of the road. Directly following the fight, Kedzie went on twitter to announce her retirement from MMA, after nearly ten years in the sport:

Before walking out to my fight today, I had a long talk with my coach and we decided that this would be my last MMA fight. I would have loved to have gone out on a win, but c’est la vie-don’t leave it to the judges. Heartbreak is a huge part of this sport. I really truly want to thank all of you for being a part of my journey as a fighter. I will still be involved in MMA for the rest of my life..but now it’s time for me to accept that I can give more to the sport by stepping back and taking role in helping to develop other fighters. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to the @UFC, my team, and all of you who have made me achieve some amazing dreams.

Female bantamweight old-schoolers like Kedzie, Roxanne Modafferi, and Shayna Baszler have looked a step behind their more modern counterparts during their brief time featured in the UFC and on TUF, but it would be unfair to chalk it up to a lack of talent. What we’ve witnessed lately has been a generational changing-of-the-guard, in which the pioneers — who often start out one-dimensional, rounding out their games as they go along — are replaced by the young fighters who grew up with the sport.

Julie Kedzie began her career in 2004, when eight-person tournaments were still socially acceptable, before women’s MMA was readily available on television, and when there was virtually no incentive for a women to compete in MMA, other than the thrill of competition.

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[VIDEO] Ronda Rousey’s Training Partner/Bestie Scored Another First Round Sub Over the Weekend and it Wasn’t an Armbar


(Classic Marina, always having to one up her big shot BFF.) 

If you tuned into The Ultimate Fighter at all this season (which judging by the ratings, you probably didn’t), you might have noticed the brooding brunette oft seen standing at Ronda Rousey‘s side, assisting her in training demonstrations, flipping off Miesha Tate, and other such shenanigans. Her name is Marina Shafir, and aside from being Rousey’s longtime training partner/B.F.F, she’s also an undefeated amateur MMA fighter who had secured three straight wins via first round armbar (sound familiar?).

That was of course, until last weekend, when Shafir captured the Tuff-n-Uff women’s featherweight title via a first round submission of Tabitha Patterson at the aptly titled “Future Stars of MMA.” The victory was Shafir’s second in a row to come at the 59 second mark, but in the interest of providing you with some motivation to view the fight video after the jump, we will leave the technique with which Shafir secured said victory up in the air.

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CagePotato PSA: You Can Support Women’s MMA and Still Think a Women’s Fight Was Awful


(Roxanne Modafferi, cruising to another bantamweight title-defense in the Ultimate Friendship Championship. / Photo via Getty)

By Matt Saccaro

In women’s MMA, as in men’s MMA, there are great matches and there are not-so-great matches. Claiming a men’s fight is sub-optimal doesn’t carry a negative stigma. Sure, some “YOU’RE NOT A FIGHTER, BRO” types will get upset, but generally it’s OK to call out the poor aspects of a contest — whether it pertains to the booking or the in-cage action — when two males are fighting.

Making the same comments when women are in the cage changes things. We learned this the hard way on Twitter last night. You’re branded a WMMA hater when you say that every women’s fight on The Ultimate Fighter 18 Finale isn’t Bonnar vs. Griffin I with estrogen.

We don’t hate women’s MMA. CagePotato is a proud sponsor of Invicta strawweight Rose Namajunas, and we’ll be sponsoring Angela “Overkill” Hill for her XFC debut later this month. However, just because we love WMMA doesn’t mean we’re not going to criticize a fight just because it’s between two women.

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Dana White Announces That a Women’s (?) Strawweight Division (?!!) Is in the Works


(Strawweights: Willing to go the extra mile on weigh-in night, and that’s really all that matters. Photo via Bellator.)

Hold onto your butts, Potato Nation, because Dana White just dropped a bomb that will make your insides explode faster than the Denny’s Hobbit menu.

During a recent interview on FOX Sports.com’s “The Fighter & The Kid” podcast, The Baldfather announced that the UFC is currently “working on” putting together a women’s strawweight division, thanks in no small part to the emphatic success of The Ultimate Fighter 18:

“I’ll give you guys something nobody knows yet. We’re actually working on bringing in another division for the women, which I said would never happen for a long time,” White told hosts Brendan Schaub and Bryan Callen. “125 pounds or 145 pounds?” Schaub asked. “Neither . . . 115 pounds,” White replied.

“I never in a million years thought that it would take off the way that it has.”

When asked whether or not the significant downturn TUF ratings have taken over the past few weeks have weighed into his decision, White allegedly told Schaub to “go f*ck himself” before storming out of the room yelling “LALALALALA CAN’T HEAR YOU” with his fingers in his ears. Allegedly.

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Squash Match Alert: Holly Holm’s Next Victim Will Be a 40-Year-Old Woman With a .500 Record


(Yet another tragic defeat for the Zulu family. / Photo via Sherdog)

Look, we know it can’t be easy to find credible opponents for undefeated bantamweight Holly Holm (5-0, all wins by KO/TKO), who has deservedly picked up the unofficial title of Best Striker in Women’s MMA. Most of the top female MMA talent at 135 pounds is already in the UFC, with a couple of holdouts still working in Invicta. The fact that Holm isn’t already under contract with the UFC is by design: Her trainer Mike Winkeljohn says that he wants to build her name to the point where she can demand top-level money by the time she enters the Octagon, and walk straight into a super-fight. Until then, Holm will be padding out her record with whoever’s willing to take a beating.

Coming off her LFC 24 demolition of some woman named Nikki Knudsen, Holm will return to the cage on December 6th in the main event of Fresquez Promotions: Havoc  against — get this — Angela Hayes, a 40-year-old bantamweight from Colorado Springs who carries a career record of 6-6. Hayes boasts four wins by guillotine choke, four losses by armbar, and hasn’t competed in two years. She sounds perfect.

“Havoc” will take place at the Route 66 Casino in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which means that Holm will have home-town advantage as well. Good grief. By the way, I tried to Google ‘Angela Hayes’ to find out more about her, and most of the results were about the Mena Suvari character in ‘American Beauty’. Not that I’m complaining.

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