(Yeah, you bet your ass fictionalization! Via Arthurdent.)
If you’ve been watching any Spike TV program lately — be it a Bellator event, a Bar Rescue marathon, or an episode of Auction Hunters (if you’re some kind of masochist) — chances are you’ve caught at least one of Chuck Liddell‘s promo spots for Duralast. Even though he’s been removed from the game some four years now, Liddell remains a more marketable MMA personality than say, Renan Barao (sorry Dana), which makes him the perfect guy to hawk car batteries and brakes. You know, tough guy stuff.
The Iceman being The Iceman, Liddell’s ads have featured the typical mix of stilted line delivery and goofball insanity that we have come to expect of Ol’ Chucky boy. The problem is, some of them take major liberties in regards to the quality of Duralast products, while others are unrealistic to the point of false advertising. Lucky for you, we’re here to clear everything up. Let’s get started.
“Walk the Walk”
First of all, I highly doubt that simply holding a Duracell battery grants one the power necessary to walk through concrete walls. That is not how automotive batteries work. They must first be attached to a power source before they can generate any kind of voltage. In fact, given that the average battery weighs around 40 pounds, I posit that carrying a car battery would only diminish one’s chances of walking through a wall, in that it would severely weaken the carrier, especially in the adverse desert conditions that Liddell appears to be traversing through.
Now, onto the rhino. Rhinos do not live in deserts. They are grazers who seek out savannahs and areas of densely-vegetated, palatable grasses as their habitats. Additionally, white rhinos like the one featured in this ad are pack travelers, but even if this particular rhino were to be separated from its clan and wander into a desert, it would still be impossible to lift said rhino, even in its weakened state, with one hand while carrying a car battery in the other.