(Video courtesy TMZ)

According to former WWE heavyweight champion, Dave Batista, he has signed a contract with Strikeforce and his opponent and the date of his debut should be announced shortly.

In the above interview with TMZ, the retired pro wrestler answered the interviewer’s query of "So are you going on to the UFC or what? What’s going on with that?" with a word, "Strikeforce." When questioned further about who he will face in his debut for the promotion, the 41-year-old replied,"You’ll see. I know, but I’m not telling you."

(Anybody who wants a leading role so bad they’ll take absolutely anything offered to them, raise your hand.)

Remember how we were just talking about the prevalence of both MMA fighters and MMA itself in films, as if it were nothing but a good thing?  We would now like to amend that position.  Our friends at Screen Junkies informed us that the movie barons within the WWE are making a movie about MMA starring their very own Big Show, who will be playing “a slow-witted lifelong orphan” who turns to MMA to raise $50,000 to save the church orphanage that he accidentally burned down.  It is at this point that you are most likely saying to yourself, ‘You friggin’ kidding me over here?’  To which we sadly answer, ‘Yo, would we kid you about something like this?’

The WWE has a complicated relationship with mixed martial arts.  They vacillate between insisting it has nothing to do with their business, trying to mimic it, and taking credit for its success, sometimes all within a matter of weeks.  That they are now making a movie featuring it means that they acknowledge its cultural appeal, but that the movie is about a big, dumb guy who travels to an MMA tournament, presumably having zany adventures and indulging in physical comedy along the way, means they aren’t exactly trying to make the MMA version of “Rocky” with this thing.  I just don’t know if I can sneak a big enough bottle of vodka into the theater to make it watchable.

Okay, so it’s not MMA-related, per se, but for those of us who grew up on the WWF — or in the 1980s in general — it’s a sad day indeed. Legendary pro-wrestling performer/manager Captain Lou Albano (born Louis Vincent Albano) died today in Mount Vernon, New York, at the age of 76; he had been in hospice care for several weeks, battling an undisclosed illness.

Albano was best known for his work with the WWF/WWE from 1983-1996, where he appeared as a Hawaiian-shirt wearing loudmouth with rubber-bands dangling from his trademark facial piercings, and managed a laundry list of pro wrestling stars. His crossover stardom hit a peak in the mid-80s when he forged a co-promotional partnership with pop star Cyndi Lauper, appearing in four of her music videos. (Our personal favorite is the extended clip for "Goonies ‘R’ Good Enough," shown above, which also featured over-the-top cameos by Roddy Piper, the Iron Sheik, Freddie Blassie, and Andre the Giant.) Later, Albano parlayed his fame into acting roles, and released an autobiography titled Often Imitated, Never Duplicated. Rest in peace, wildman…

(Okay, but just so you know, shooting out jets of sparks from your arms is currently prohibited under the unified rules. Photo courtesy of faniq.com.)

I guess Bobby Lashley is serious about this cage-fighting stuff after all. MMA Mania reports that the former WWE star has signed with Canada’s Maximum Fighting Championship promotion, and will appear at their "Hard Knocks" event (May 15th, Edmonton) a month before he collides with Bob Sapp in Biloxi. Lash will be taking on Mike Cook, a Frank Shamrock-trained heavyweight who’s either 6-3 or 5-5, depending on who you ask. Will Cook further expose Lashley as a work-in-progress, or will Lashley redeem himself after his unsatisfying performance against Jason Guida? "Hard Knocks" will be broadcast live in North America on HDNet, and will feature UFC vets Marvin Eastman, David Heath, and Trevor Prangley.

MMA Mania also reveals that the June 27th Lashley vs. Sapp pay-per-view event has been given the official name of "Unarmed Combat." Din Thomas is expected to be on the card (along with Tom Atencio), and Lashley’s fight nickname is now "The Dominator." Yawn. Come on guys, I think we can do better than that…

We’re fully aware that it’s the game which should be hated, rather than the player, but this is getting ridiculous. So, Dean Lister used to be dating this girl. The general consensus was something along the lines of "maybe she’s too attractive to be with a goon-faced man who’s gone 5-5 in his last 10." Now we get news (and photo proof) from CagePotato reader Jerry V. that the Boogeyman’s latest conquest is not only hot, but kind of famous as well.

Closet WWE fans might know the above woman as Milena Roucka, who goes by the WWE Diva stage name Rosa Mendes. There really isn’t much more to say besides "how does this keep happening?" It’s Dean Lister, for crying out loud. Is his game really that tight? TEACH US, BOOGEYMAN.

(This must be what Bizarro World Ross Clifton looks like.)

Forget about the Ken Shamrock-Tank Abbott bout that you’ve been positively salivating over, because Bloody Elbow says Shamrock will get beaten up by former pro wrestler Bobby Lashley at Roy Jones Jr.’s “March Badness” event in Pensacola, Florida first.  Looks like you’ll have to wait a little longer for your dream fight, MMA fan who is stuck in 1996.

Lashley has only one pro fight so far, which might be reason enough for Shamrock — who is still riding high after his victory over morbidly obese tomato can Ross Clifton — to think he has a chance.

But does he really have a shot?  Of course not.  Lashley may be a newcomer to MMA, but he was a national wrestling champion in college.  In addition to that, he’s also a superb athlete and is not really old, slow, and suffering visible effects from years of beatings.  In other words, he has several crucial advantages over Shamrock.

(This is quickly turning into the “Weekly Bust Urijah Faber’s Balls Contest.” Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle, obvi.)

Between Brock Lesnar’s heavyweight championship win and Jon Fitch’s temporary firing, we probably had more comments posted on CagePotato this week than any other week in our history. I can’t know that for sure because I’m not going to sit here and count them. But you guys are really starting to chime in with your adorable little opinions, and we definitely appreciate it, so keep ‘em coming. Now the question is, who will be getting CP Hall of Fame t-shirts for going above and beyond? Answer:

Patrick on “WWE Gets Its Gloat On”: A little later on in that very same article, WWE.com writers were quoted as saying “also, most UFC fighters wear baggier fitting shorts and are not allowed to slather their hard, toned bodies with vasoline or baby oil, which makes UFC events far more difficult to masturbate to.”

TB on “Lil Fabie’s First Trip to the Strip Club”: Two and a half men

To be honest, that Urijah Faber post produced so much gold it was hard to choose just one standout. (Pat yourselves on the back OB&I, abenormal, and SB.) As for Patrick and TB, please send your address and size to feedback@cagepotato.com and we’ll get those shirts right out to you.

(Maybe it’s just the camera angle, but Lesnar does appear to have a slight size advantage. Photo courtesy of The Sun.)

From WWE.com, not that I ever go there:

LAS VEGAS – In a stunning upset, Brock Lesnar became the first man to capture both the WWE Championship and the UFC Heavyweight Championship* when he defeated UFC fan favorite Randy “The Natural” Couture on Saturday night in Sin City…

For Lesnar, the road to UFC gold proved surprisingly short. Within roughly six months**, the former WWE Superstar climbed to the top of the ultimate fighting heap, capping his ascent with the upset victory over Couture.

Critics have noted that many of the fights on the UFC pay-per-view ended in the first round, leaving UFC producers scrambling to fill the three-hour event with content. The dearth of hearty competition*** left many viewers to watch less prestigious under-card fights and only served to bolster claims that UFC pay-per-view events can often be a “crap shoot”**** in regards to filling the full three hours.

Brock Lesnar’s segment on E:60 aired yesterday, and we learned a few things about the WWE-superstar turned UFC heavyweight contender. Namely:

— His childhood on a struggling dairy farm in Bumblefuck, South Dakota, inspired him to achieve something greater with his life.

— He’s always liked beating the crap out of people. “Handling another human being and making him feel less than you is, I don’t know, something that I got a thrill out of,” Lesnar says.

— He never watched “a lick” of pro wrestling before he joined the WWE.

— Being a WWE champion takes its toll, both physically and emotionally. He wrestled for six months with a blown-out knee and three broken ribs, and lost two years of memories to vodka and pain pills, which he was basically addicted to.

— Bret “The Hitman” Hart looks scary-old.

— Steroids are a touchy subject for Lesnar, even though he’s never taken them. When the interviewer starts asking him about his unnaturally large physique, Brock sees where the line of questioning is headed and storms off. “I have never failed a fucking drug test,” he says later.

— Lesnar doesn’t put much faith in Randy Couture’s claim that he’s stronger now than he was 10 years ago. “My ass, he is. I’m 31 and I’m not as strong as I was 10 years ago. That’s a straight-up lie.”

After the jump: E:60‘s full reporter/producer discussion on the Brock Lesnar story.

(Sorry, buddy — no dick-tattoo on your chest, no UFC contract.)

Hey, someone’s gotta fill the hole left by Anderson Silva. WWE/TNA vet Kurt Angle — who’s made similar claims in the past — now tells The Sun that he’ll definitely make the move from pro wrestling to MMA next year. And in doing so, he kind of sounds like an idiot. First off…

[W]hen asked which organisation he would be competing for…he added: “It depends on which company gives me the best deal. I’m getting offers from the UFC, Pro Elite XC, Affliction and the IFL.”

Problem 1: The IFL doesn’t exist anymore. Problem 2: Affliction’s Tom Atencio has publicly stated that Angle would be bad for the sport. Problem 3: “Pro Elite XC” is on shaky financial ground at this point, and could just as easily be extinct next year. But hey, the UFC scored big with Brock Lesnar, so maybe Dana White will roll the dice again. Which would work out, because Angle’s already assuming he’ll be fighting in an eight-sided shape:

“I’ve always wanted to do it. I’m the only Olympic gold medallist that will enter the Octagon and it feels right for me. I can almost guarantee you’re going to see me in the Octagon. Obviously I’m going to have to take a few months away from pro wrestling to get ready for that.”

Sure, a few months should cover it. To be honest, this is feeling like a FAIL waiting to happen. Especially because Angle admits that his ultimate goal is to finish out his career at TNA. (“God-willing, I’ll walk away successful and I can come away from MMA saying ‘I did it’ and go back to my professional wrestling routes.”)

Look, one Brock Lesnar is enough for us, thanks. I can only hope that Angle gets all-but-murdered in his first MMA match and goes back to fake-fighting for good.

Related: The AFL — that totally ‘tarded fight league that signed pro wrestler Bobby Lashley to a fight contract — may not be doing so well.

(Dueling highlights, via MMA Scraps. And yeah, there’s some WWE action in there.)

Ever since yesterday’s announcement that Randy Couture would be facing Brock Lesnar in his return to the UFC, you’ve been wondering: Okay, okay, but what does Kim Couture have to say about this? Fortunately, she didn’t keep us in suspense for long. “Sugar Free” went on ESPN radio with Steve Cofield to talk about the match-up and express her deepest sympathies for poor, poor Brock Lesnar:

“It’s surprising to me, shocking that they’d throw a guy in there with only three fights. I kind of feel sorry for the guy. He poses some interesting problems but that’s what Randy is good at, is taking care of those problems. He’s no bigger or tougher than (Gabe) Gonzaga or Tim Sylvia.”

‘Sup, Sable? You going to let her talk about your man that way? Better represent.

Couture seems to be parroting a line that’s already been worn out in the less-than twenty-four hours since this fight has been official. That is, how does a guy with only three fights expect to hang with “The Natural”? Of course, perusing message-boards and MMA websites yields no shortage of people wondering how a 225-pound, forty-five-year-old man can hang with a physical monstrosity like Lesnar, who knows a thing or two about wrestling himself.

In other words, there’s more than one angle to come at this fight from, which means Dana White probably knew what he was talking about when he predicted over a million pay-per-view buys. The UFC has taken some heat for a lackluster heavyweight division since the departure of Couture, but to quote Dana White from yesterday’s conference call: “Our heavyweight division looks pretty damn good now, doesn’t it?”

Point taken.

Plenty of people seem upset about Brock Lesnar after UFC 87. Maybe it’s because of his antics at the end of the fight. Maybe it’s because of his post-fight remarks. Maybe it’s because he won, or because everything about him reminds you of the guy who put you upside down in that trash can back in high school. We all have our reasons, is what I’m saying, even if they may be bad ones.

I’ll admit that I didn’t get a whole lot of joy out of watching Lesnar control Herring on the mat for three rounds. It wasn’t exactly a thrilling bout, athletically speaking, and his ‘ride-em cowboy’ routine was the kind of thing I hate about pro sports. But at a time when the UFC’s heavyweight division suffers from a general dearth of talent and interesting potential matchups, hate-ability may be just what we need right now.

What we have in Lesnar is the type of guy who various martial arts were created in order to protect against. He’s big, strong, fast, and aggressive. He’s all natural ability, and not so much technique at this point. His personality is abrasive, to put it mildly — the kind of guy you run into at a bar and think, ‘I’d kick your ass, if only you weren’t so big.’ What’s more, he seems to really enjoy being that guy.

After his display following the victory over Herring prompted some anger from MMA fans, Lesnar responded:

“That was just me. I was just excited. That was for Heath’s camp. I had the last laugh and the last words to say. I might’ve went a little overboard. If I offended anybody then I’m sorry…uh, not really!”

What’s not to love?

(‘It’s a sword, okay? It’s not phallic. It’s awesome.’)

Something about Brock Lesnar rubs some people the wrong way. Maybe it’s his attitude or his wanton homophobia. Or maybe it’s because, as an ex-WWE star, he’s getting big money in the UFC without ever having proved himself as an MMA fighter. Fortunately Lesnar has an answer for that last one. As he told the Baltimore Sun’s MMA blog, he’s paid his dues in other ways:

MMA Stomping Grounds: How would you respond to fans of the sport and fighters lower on the totem pole who believe you got a big push because of your popularity in wrestling?

Lesnar: Tough [expletive deleted], buddy. Get in line. That’s just the way it is. This is a business and it’s a sport, it’s entertainment and it’s all three of those words wrapped into one. [UFC president] Dana White and [co-owners] the Fertitta brothers didn’t buy this company to say, ‘Hey let’s see if we can run this thing into the ground and not make a dime.’ They bought it to make millions and make it what it is, and that’s what they are doing. I’m just trying to have fun and get a little piece of the pie. I really enjoy it. I’m proud and honored to be a part of it. And it’s not like I didn’t pay any dues either. I wrestled amateur when I was 5 years old and put more miles in airplanes and working out. I’m 31 this year and I’ve paid dues. If [other fighters] want to be mad I think they should focus on how they can become a big contributor. They are mad because they aren’t making any money.

Well, that should smooth things over. Is it me, or does Brock Lesnar always find some way to mention how much he hates flying? He hates it so much he counts it as time spent paying dues. Later in the same interview he does it again, even projecting his hatred of airplanes on other Minnesotans:

(Now maybe work on defending it. Just saying.)

Former WWE wrestler Brock Lesnar is getting wise to this jiu-jitsu stuff with help of seven-time world champion Rodrigo “Comprido” Medeiros. While the business end of the submissions is the part that Lesnar should really be worried about, it’s good to see that he’s getting help from someone who knows.

Lesnar’s taking on Heath Herring at UFC 87, and while “The Texas Crazyhorse” has a fair amount of submission victories under his belt, the last one was back in 2003. Herring might rather keep it standing in order to test out the angry four-year-old punching style that Lesnar displayed against Frank Mir.

In a recent interview with MMA Weekly, Herring had this to say about what he expected from Lesnar:

“From my own personal experience, guys that are that green and new, they kind of revert to that adrenaline rush and that’s what I’m anticipating he’s going to do as well. I think he’s going to be pretty wild and come out and do what we saw him do against Frank (Mir).”

Lesnar may be working out with “Comprido”, but Herring says he’s been training with Randy Couture. At least both guys will be well-prepared. One has to wonder though, what becomes of Lesnar if Herring puts a second straight loss on his record?

(Props: the UG, via Five Ounces of Pain)

(Satan and his minions.)

From UFC.com:

Dana White and heavyweight sensation Brock Lesnar will appear live on CNBC’s “Power Lunch” today to announce an exciting new UFC deal. The show airs at 12:40pm ET.

Previously, White promised a major announcement to come this Thursday that “is going to blow people’s minds.” Could he be spilling the beans early? And what’s Lesnar’s role in all this, unless the major deal is somehow WWE-related?

Which is a distinct possibility, of course. MMAPayout had this to say:

[F]inancial giant Morgan Stanley has reportedly been working on a collaborative/financial deal between Zuffa and another party…

Sources have told MMAPayout.com that a significant licensing deal may be part of the planned announcement. Licensing and merchandising has long been identified as a major untapped revenue stream for the UFC. Adding even more intrigue is WWE’s rumored involvement in the deal. The WWE also has a press conference scheduled for Thursday.

Last night a poster on the Underground Forums added the following rumor “from a reliable source” to the mix: “a group of investors led by Dana White have agreed in principle to purchase the UFC from Frank and Lorenzo Fertitta for an undisclosed amount. Included in this investment group is WWE’s Vince McMahon who will now own a minority stake in the company. They also have plans on taking the company public by years end.”

It’s possible that today’s announcement will be about a licensing deal with a tangential relationship to the WWE, and White’s saving the real mind-blower — which he said would require the renting out of a separate venue for his employees — for Thursday. We’ll let you know what comes of it…

(Small man, big money.)

It was announced today that boxing superstar Floyd Mayweather Jr. will pocket a very-real $20 million for fake-fighting “Big Show” at WrestleMania XXIV in Orlando on March 30. Let’s put that figure into perspective: $20,000,000 is 40 times more than the UFC’s highest-paid star, Chuck Liddell, made for real-fighting Wanderlei Silva. It’s 166 times more than Anderson Silva made for his last title defense. If you laid every one of those dollars end-to-end, it would stretch from Mayweather’s ass to the back of the garage he keeps his Bentleys in.

“Wrestling takes care of business right on the spot,” Mayweather said in the AP article. “There’s no waiting three, four, five months. Quick results, quick money. Quick big money, too.” And at the press conference, this happened:

Mayweather incited the couple hundred of already hyped fans at Staples Center by whipping out a thick wad of cash and repeatedly tossing $100, $50 and $20 bills into the crowd that had nearly as many women as men.

A mad scramble ensued, with a light pole nearly getting knocked over and two small children caught in the chaos.

As Mayweather’s manager Leonard Ellerbe very astutely put it, “Either I’m going to be a genius with this or I’m the biggest idiot.” Hey, why not both?

One of the most embarrassing aspects of pro wrestling (and there are many) is that it forces men to trash-talk about a fight that isn’t even real. A WrestleMania XXIV preview on WWE.com quotes Big Show as saying “At WrestleMania, I’m going to show you that wrestling can hurt…Look at the size of my fist. It’s the size of your head. Once you get a load of this, it’s ‘BOOM!’ You’re out.” Paul? Something tells me you’re going to lose this one.

Let’s hope this doesn’t distract Floyd from his budding MMA career. Oh, you already forgot about that, didn’t you?

Related: Stripper admits Oscar De La Hoya Drag Pics are fake (site sorta NSFW)

(Partnering with the WWE for MMA events is not something to cheer about, Dude.)

In an e-mail exchange with Mark Cuban on Thursday, The Edmonton Sun posed some questions regarding the 49-year-old gazillionaire’s involvement in MMA and where HDNet’s participation in the sport was headed. Cuban’s HDNet most recently broadcast MFC 15: Rags to Riches last Friday, where Pete Spratt was choked out by Ryan Ford. The channel has been partnering with several organizations this year to become the MMA broadcast king – including showing their own HDNet Fights.

Q: Why did you decide to carry so much MMA content on HDNet? (The channel has created the HDNet Fights brand.)
A: “We think MMA is just starting to take off. It’s a great sport that combines athleticism and strategy and of course toughness that is just starting to go mainstream.

“It’s a great opportunity for HDNet to gain viewers in the U.S. and Canada.”

Cuban goes on to speak of his love for MMA and his plans to attend scores of live events in the near future. And he plans on keeping HDNet on track to get MMA in every house.

I just came across this video from Brock’s WWE days, where he demonstrates a few of the exercises responsible for his behemoth-like build and athleticism. In particular, watch how he picks up that 180-pound log like it’s a toothpick. Though his technique on the heavy bag may be questionable, he certainly makes up for it in sheer aggression.

Of course, Brock’s physical abilities once convinced him that he could land a shooting star press from 20 feet away. But as long he avoids this sort of thing on Saturday night, he’ll be fine:

The most shocking moment of UFC 77 was the announcement that former WWE superstar Brock Lesnar has decided to switch his career focus from works to shoots, signing with the UFC as a heavyweight fighter.

As of now, Lesnar’s professional MMA record is a scant 1-0. Now, if I was an a-hole, I might say something like “Wow, a pro wrestler? The depths that Dana White will sink to inject interest into his flailing, star-less heavyweight division…” But I’m not that kind of a-hole. The truth is, Lesnar was absolutely terrifying as a amateur wrestler, amassing a 106-5 record in four years of college; his single pro fight resulted in a very credible submission-via-strikes victory over Min Soo Kim at K-1 Dynamite; and he might be the most physically imposing MMA fighter since Bob Sapp. Remember, this is a guy who once power-bombed a freakin’ shark:

It’s rumored that Lesnar will make his UFC debut at a February 2, 2008, event in Las Vegas, and we’re already looking forward to the WWE-style trash-talking. Stay tuned for the details of EliteXC’s imminent signing of “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan and Superfly Snuka…