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27 Signs You’ve Been an MMA Fan Too Long

(Image via FAIL Blog, obviously.)

By the Staff

You know you’re a true MMA fan when it starts to negatively affect your work, health, and personal relationships. Check out our latest list below, and let us know which ones apply to you. Props to Buzzfeed for the inspiration.

1. You roll your wrists while blasting “Sandstorm” before every job interview.

2. Kimbo Slice is your favorite professional boxer and Tank Abbott is your favorite author.

3. You used to drive 25 miles to the nearest video store that carried bootlegged copies of King of the Cage events. Now, you complain because there are too many free UFC events on cable.


CagePotato Roundtable #17: What Was the Most Embarrassing Moment in MMA History?

(God damn it, Tim. We will never forgive you for this.)

We envisioned this week’s CagePotato Roundtable as a friendly take-down of everything from “Hello Japan!” to Tito Ortiz’s brief and terrifying career as a post-fight interviewer. But then a funny thing happened — the UFC canceled their first event of the Zuffa era due to a very unexpected decision by one of their champions, and the world exploded. The Jon Jones/UFC 151 fallout and much more will be covered in today’s column, so grab a beverage and get comfortable. And as always, if you have a topic idea for a future Roundtable, please send it to

Seth Falvo

World Combat League, bro. It already exists.”

In the perfect MMA Universe I envision whenever I eat enough Lotus Leaf, these words are uttered directly to MMA’s Vince Russo, Bob Meyrowitz, while he’s looking for investors for the mind-numbingly ridiculous YAMMA Pit Fighting. Upon hearing them, Bob decides to become a jaded boxing promoter, World Combat League is still the only promotion that uses a bowl as the fight surface and we are all spared the most stupid, embarrassing, gimmicky event since Heroes of Wrestling. Also in this universe: The Super Hulk division is recognized by the UFC as a real weight class, Paulo Filho never touches the GHB, Fedor knocks out Brock Lesnar and then retires as a UFC Heavyweight Champion and Chael Sonnen never attempts that freaking backfist. Who says us nerds don’t know how to party?

Of course, reality is a cruel mistress, and YAMMA Pit Fighting ended up happening despite the best efforts of an injury curse. Much like the aforementioned Heroes of Wrestling, Meyrowitz attempted to cash in on our love of nostalgia by booking a bunch of aging has-beens, never-weres, nobodies and ne’er-do-wells to compete in the promotion’s inaugural event. Never mind that half of the roster hasn’t been relevant in a decade (using “relevant” as loosely as possible in some cases), or that one of the fighters was best known for getting knocked out by a leg kick, or that another fighter was best known to casual fans for his stint on Celebrity Rehab; they’re going to brawl, you guys! Add on one of Brock Lesnar’s Team Deathclutch punching bags, the cheapest journeyman-for-hire you can find, an obese former Toughman Contest champion and some obscure Russians who dabble at sambo — because, you know, Fedor — and we’ll have all the tools for an exciting bankruptcy case after no one watches this. Tack on the incredibly cheesy, stuck-in-the-mid-90s “On the streets it’s against the law — in the pit it is the law” tagline, and laissez les bons temps rouler.


Oh Dear God, No: Musical Adaptation of ‘Fight Club’ In the Works for Broadway

Well, we can’t say we didn’t see this one coming, but it doesn’t make it any more less idiotic. According to Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk, although it’s been 15 years since he penned his acclaimed best seller, there is apparently a Broadway adaptation of “Fight Club” is in the works.

The play, which will likely be based heavily on David Fincher’s 1999 film adaptation that starred Brad Pitt, Edward Norton and Helena Bonham Carter, will join Spiderman and Batman as the new wave of live action theatre that appeals to men who aren’t gay or who are simply fans of stupid concepts.

Plahniuk told Shortlist during a recent interview that Fight Club on Broadway will likely happen and that he’s all for the idea, although it’s probably not so much the idea he likes since it’s ridiculous, as it is the barrels of cash he’ll be paid for licensing out his most successful property.


The Don Frye YAMMA Promos You Never Saw

As The Fight Nerd reminds us, this weekend marks one year since the MMAbortion known as YAMMA Pit Fighting was forced upon the world.  In honor of this YAMMAversary, our nerdy friend has dug up some promo material that never saw the light of day.  Remember when Don Frye was originally scheduled to take on Oleg Taktarov in the "Master’s Division" (read: old guys), and then had to pull out with an injury?  It proved to be Frye’s smartest career move, but fortunately for us he had time to film some promos for YAMMA first. 

Say what you will about "The Predator," but he is the master of totally sweet burns that sound like something you’d hear down at the hardware store.  Plus, his delivery is second to none.  Today’s fighters just don’t compare their opponents’ heads to a "five-gallon bucket full of buttholes" quite the way Don used to.

After the jump, relive the awful shitshow that was YAMMA, and then be glad that it went away forever.


Daily Downer: A Final Look at YAMMA

We promise, no more Pit Fighting-related posts after this, but we wanted to officially drive the nail through the bowl-shaped coffin with these two videos.

First, the semi-final match between Ricco “#1″ Rodriguez and Travis Wiuff, notable for the classic line “I don’t like that jumping stuff.” The crowd shot at the 2:37 to 2:40 mark is priceless. (As is Ricco’s gut at the 4:45 mark.)

Also, here’s the dreadful Scott Ferrall announcing video that broke the Internet when we tried to post it from DojoTube yesterday. It’s up on YouTube now, and all is right with the world.


Butterbean vs. Patrick Smith: An American Tragedy

We had neither the time nor interest to watch YAMMA live, so if you want a more detailed recap of the sad spectacle than we had in our results post, we recommend going here or here. But if you want the entire depressing, cut-rate experience boiled down into three minutes, look no further than the “Masters Superfight” between Eric “Butterbean” Esch and Patrick “Pillbottle” Smith. Cheers to Smith for dodging Butterbean’s infamous haymakers; jeers to Esch for not being able to get to his feet after slipping. Smith simply got down next to the 416-pound beached whale and dropped punches until Dan Miragliotta decided that the 200 audience members had gotten their money’s worth. If only ‘Bean could have fallen onto the revolutionary YAMMA incline instead — who knows what could have happened…


YAMMA 1 Results: Wiuff Wins Three; Butterbean Cries Mercy

(The slim-n-trim Butterbean fell victim to a G-n-P at YAMMA’s debut event.)

Well it finally happened…and without much of a hitch. YAMMA Bowl Fighting went down last night, but apparently it’s still too much to ask for the organization to update their website. Shit, guys, it’s just the click of a few buttons. Anyway, the main story was Travis Wiuff taking his record to 52-11 by winning three fights in the heavyweight tourney to pick up the title. He did so by using the leverage of the bowl’s incline to take his opponents to the ground — which is exactly what Meyrowitz said wouldn’t happen with his ground-breaking new surface.

In other fights, Oleg Taktarov kneebarred Mark Kerr for the win and Butterbean verbally submitted due to a GnP from the fresh-outta-jail Patrick Smith. Overall, really boring night. Out of the eleven battles, seven went to boring decisions and three were less-than-thrilling submissions. There was only one KO — a TKO to be precise. We’ll see where YAMMA goes from here. Our guess is it’ll slip into oblivion.

Here are the full results:

– Oleg Taktarov over Mark Kerr – submission via kneebar
– Patrick Smith over Eric Esch – submission via strikes
– Travis Wiuff over Chris Tuscherer – unanimous decision
– Travis Wiuff over Ricco Rodriguez – unanimous decision
– Chris Tuscherer over Alexey Oleinik – unanimous decision
– Alexey Oleinik over Sherman Pendergarst – submission via choke
– Chris Tuscherer over Tony Sylvester – unanimous decision
– Travis Wiuff over Marcelo Pereira – unanimous decision
– Ricco Rodriguez over George Bush – unanimous decision
– Bryan Vetell over Antwain Britt – unanimous decision
– Lamont Lister over Oleg Savitsky – TKO on strikes


YAMMA Debuts Tonight : (


Well, we all knew this day would come. YAMMA 1 goes down tonight at the Trump Taj Mahal Arena in Atlantic City, New Jersey, starting at 9 p.m. The live pay-per-view card kicks off at 10 p.m. ET/7 p.m. PT, and the final-final-final lineup is as follows:

Masters Superfights (two five-minute rounds)
Oleg Taktarov vs. Mark Kerr
Patrick Smith vs. Eric “Butterbean” Esch

Heavyweight Tournament (one five-minute round in quarter- and semi-final matches; championship fight is three five-minute rounds)
Ricco Rodriguez vs. George Bush
Travis Wiuff vs. Marcelo Pereira
Chris Tuscherer vs. Tony Sylvester
Sherman Pendergarst vs. Alexey Oleinik

Alternate Bouts
Antwain Britt vs. Bryan Vetell
Lamont Lister vs. Oleg Savitsky

Standby Alternate
Ron Waterman

Weigh-ins were held yesterday, and Butterbean tipped the scales — and I mean literally, like the thing fell over — at a shocking 416 pounds, meaning he’ll have a 176-pound advantage on Patrick “Because I Got High” Smith. Ricco Rodriguez weighed in at 267.2 on his first attempt, but was able to make the 265-pound limit an hour later. So for those of you who were hoping Double-R would be in better shape than during his paunchy performance against Antonio Silva at “Street Certified” in February, not so much.

We haven’t previously reported on the alternate-bout fighters, so here goes: Bryan Vetell is a 3-3 IFL vet who had the honor of being defeated by both Ben Rothwell and Roy Nelson; Lamont Lister is also 3-3, and has fought in Cage Fury and Palace Fighting Championships; Antwain Britt has a 3-0 record in local promotions; and Oleg Savitsky, the night’s lightest competitor at 199 pounds, has a 1-1 record with his loss coming at the hands of Tim Boetsch. Our money’s on Savitsky to win it all.

We’re guessing that the show pulls in 2,500 PPV buys, but we really have no idea what to expect. Sooooo…anybody plan on attending? Anybody buying the pay-per-view? Has anybody ever seen The Producers, where Bialystock and Bloom come up with the scheme to raise more money than they need for a guaranteed Broadway flop that will close after the first night? Could this have been Bob Meyrowitz’s plan all along?


“Smashing Machine” Back in @ YAMMA 1


I know, I know: At this point it’s like “who fucking cares,” right? But for those of you who enjoy following the YAMMA saga on a schadenfreudic level, Mark Kerr has reportedly been taken off the suspended list in Connecticut, which allows the New Jersey Athletic Control Board to give him the go-ahead to compete at YAMMA‘s debut card this Friday, in a “Master’s Superfight” against Oleg Taktarov. Well, assuming he passes final medical exams, that is — no foregone conclusion, considering how much abuse Kerr’s body has endured over the years, both inside and outside the cage. The YAMMA bout would come just two weeks after his last fight; Kerr defeated Chuck Huus by keylock submission at a CCCF event in Oklahoma on March 29th, bringing his career record to 15-6.

FiveOunces also reports that Ron Waterman has been submitted and approved (pending final medicals) as an alternate for YAMMA’s eight-man heavyweight tournament. If you want to see pictures of what the YAMMA pit will actually look like, click here. An empty kiddie-pool with a fence around it? Revolutionary.

Previously: Goodridge Out of YAMMA; For Real This Time?


Ricco Rodriguez Has No Idea

Here’s a preview clip from tonight’s episode of Inside MMA, in which Ricco Rodriguez discusses his participation in YAMMA’s debut event (April 11th, Atlantic City). We’ve already established that the fight surface is a big bowl, but even Ricco still doesn’t know what the enclosure is going to be like, and doesn’t expect to find out until he gets there. For the record, if it turns out to be Plexiglass, Bas Rutten came up with that idea first. Also, horse-jockey Gary Stevens throws in his two cents, God knows why. (Props to TheMMAPost for the video.)

Bonus: Marcus Aurelio’s armbar of Ryan Roberts on Wednesday was damn nasty…

…and Manny Gamburyan is kind of a dick.
(Props: BloodyElbow)