Zoila Frausto Gurgel is the goddamn champion of the world, and don’t you forget it. PicProps:  Zoila’s FaceBook, because we’re down like that.

Bellator 66 went down in Cleveland, Ohio last night, and I assume someone here will recap it for you, because it was the usual entertaining show from Bellator.  We saw some great tournament action at lightweight and middleweight, plus the Alvarez-Aoki rematch that I’ve been waiting for, and all I had to do was watch MTV2.  Remember when MTV2 was started as the station for music 24/7? **sigh**

Something you didn’t see on the broadcast last night was an interview with reigning women’s 115 champion Zoila Frausto Gurgel.  You didn’t see it, because it didn’t happen.  It didn’t happen, because everyone would rather pretend that the entire women’s tournament didn’t happen.  Everyone, that is, except for Zoila Frausto Gurgel herself.  Zoila Frausto Gurgel wants you to remember it, and give her a high-five when you see her, too.  And if you don’t, Zoila Frausto Gurgel will go on social media and complain about it.

CagePotato Roundtable is our new recurring column in which the CP writing staff and some of our friends all get together to debate an MMA-related topic. Joining us this week is former CagePotato staff writer Chad Dundas, who now writes for an up-and-coming blog called ESPN. If you have a suggestion for a future Roundtable column, send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

CagePotato reader Alexander W. writes: “The Demetrious Johnson vs. Ian McCall fight inspired my suggestion: Greatest robberies in MMA history. I’d be curious to hear the variety of opinions out there. Surely that fight was a top ten.”

Chad Dundas

There are a lot of things about Pride Total Elimination 2003 that don’t make sense when viewed with modern MMA sensibilities. How to even comprehend a world where a skinny, haired-up, suit jacket-wearing Dana White could bet Pride bigwigs $250,000 that Chuck Liddell was going to win that company’s 2003 middleweight grand prix? Or comprehend that a bizarrely dangerous and clearly-enunciating Liddell showed up in the first round of said tournament and KTFOed an impossibly svelte Alistair Overeem? Or that Overeem had an old dude in a robe and shriners hat accompany him to the ring while carrying a big foam hammer? Or that on this night somebody got tapped out with a sleeve choke? Or that Wanderlei Silva fought Kazushi Sakuraba and it didn’t just make everybody feel sad and empty?

No sense at all.

What does still sort of make sense is this: After watching Liddell sleep Overeem, there was no way on God’s green Earth that Pride judges were going to let another UFC emissary walk out of Saitama Super Arena with a win*, so they conspired to pull off one of the greatest screwjobs in MMA history when they awarded Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira a unanimous decision over Ricco Rodriguez. The indisputable fact is, Ricco whipped Big Nog good that night, taking him down, brutalizing him, shaking off his feeble submission attempts and controlling pretty much the whole affair. At least, that’s how I remember it. Unfortunately, due to Zuffa’s ongoing war on Internet piracy it seems their bout will only be remembered by history and by the creepy old man who answers the queries you submit to the Sherdog Fight Finder.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/bisonkhan/CP Reader and retired fighter Dave Green)

- Five reasons why MMA is better than boxing right now (Complex)

- The Boardwalk Empire board game (ScreenJunkies)

- MMA Notebook: Dana White presser notes (NBC Sports)

- Damm signs with Bellator, expected to face Frausto-Gurgel in October in Canada (Tatame)

- 20 things every new UFC fans should know about MMA (BleacherReport)

- How to cozy up the man cave (MadeMan)

- Sgt. Slaughter plays bud guitar, defeats monster truck, is 1980s awesome (WithLeather)

- 11-year-old with MS bullied into committing suicide (TorontoSun)

- Jeff Monson asks Pat Miletich, “How can you not consider America a terror organization?” (FightOpinion)

- Simon Pegg continues to be awesome (FilmDrunk)

- Jon Jones vs. Rampage Jackson: Who has the statistical advantage at UFC 135? (MMAMania)

- Joe Warren and Alexis Vila headline Bellator’s Bantamweight tourney opening round (Clutch.MTV)

- Malcolm Brenner had  sexual relationship with a dolphin, then wrote a book about it (HolyTaco)

- DREAM 17 breakdown and predictions (MMAFighting)

- Guyism After Dark: Susie, Monika, or Filippa??? (Guyism)

- DNA from spit links fighter to rapes (9News)

- Supremacy MMA Video Game Review (The Fight Nerd)

(“Can you tell me what the scale says? I can’t see over my cheekbones.” Props: CombatLifestyle)

Apparently there’s this thing called the 17 Day Diet that allows you to lose your hideous gut as long as you eat nothing but Fritos for 17 days. Or something like that. I can’t be bothered to do actual research. But the point is this: It’s just another bullshit fad. As MMA fighters have proven for years, the only way to effectively take off pounds is to dehydrate yourself until you nearly die — a miracle diet known as “brutal weight cutting.” Here are some of the sport’s greatest success stories.

* Ed. note: Just kidding. The “weight-loss plans” depicted in this article are not to be followed under any circumstances, and Dr. Mike seems like a super-nice guy despite the questionable amount of product he puts in his hair.

Sean McCorkle
Lost: 55 pounds in three months, before his submission win over Mark Hunt at UFC 119 (9/25/10)

After charming his way into a UFC contract, Indiana-based super-heavyweight Sean McCorkle was faced with a dilemma — making 265 pounds for the first time since middle school. “Big Sexy” had 12 weeks to come down from his walking weight of 320, which forced him to get very familiar with chicken breast, apples, and oatmeal.

By weigh-in day, it seemed like the world was conspiring against him. “The cut was an absolute nightmare, and the commission scales were off the morning of the weigh-in,” McCorkle explained. “I told them that and the commission said they weren’t. I said I couldn’t possibly be three pounds heavier [on the day of weigh-ins] than I was last night when I didn’t eat or drink anything. So I went to cut an extra three pounds that morning. It took me two hours to cut the weight. Then I weighed in at 263 pounds and I wanted to strangle somebody.” Compared to that, making Mark Hunt cry “uncle” with an armlock was the easy part.

Jake Shields
Lost: 20 pounds in one day before his split-decision win over Martin Kampmann at UFC 121 (10/23/10)

(Definitely an upgrade for Jorge. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com)

Zoila Gurgel (formerly Frausto)’s first Bellator appearance since winning the promotion’s 115-pound title last October may also be her last of the season. According to a CSAC medical report, Gurgel broke her hand during her unanimous decision victory over Karina Hallinan this weekend, and may be out of action for six months. Since Bellator’s current fourth season is only scheduled to run through May 21st, it’s almost certain that she won’t be back until season five, which kicks off in the fall.

“I’m just saying that teachers should stop being so greedy, make some sacrifices for the common good. I mean really, full dental? That just seems like–hey, why are you guys looking at me like that?” -Lyman Good, on the state of the economy.

Bellator Fighting Championships premiered last night on MTV2 with its first broadcast of the fourth season with the full quarterfinal lineup in the welterweight division, aiming to come in like a lion on the new network. Bellator’s welterweights are possibly the most talented weight class for BFC, and the matchups looked to be pure dynamite, at least on paper. Well, the field is narrowed down to the four semifinalists, with one upset, one awkward stoppage, and an undercard fight that stole the show from everyone. Curious?

Well, of course you’re curious–you watched that other promotion’s show last night, and you have no idea what happened. Lyman “Cyborg” Good could’ve changed his name to Cyrax and developed a Fatality, and you’d be none the wiser because some old guy was fighting some Brazilian guy for some belt that no one can hold onto. Whatevs, brah. I’ll fill you in this time, but you may want to tune in for Bellator XXXVI. I hear Johnny Cage is showing up.

It seems like every MMA site and their brother has put out a ranking of hottest MMA wives and girlfriends. For this list, we’re more interested in the couples who would kick the most ass together in a street-fight — or in one of those freaky-ass tag-team MMA bouts. If we’ve left out any notable MMA couples, holler at us in the comments section…

#6: BRANDON AND KERRY VERA

Combined MMA record: 13-6
Status: Married since 2006
Tough cred: Brandon’s career skid in the UFC has culminated in three consecutive losses (though that last one might be overturned). On the bright side, his adorable wife Kerry is currently 2-0 as a mixed martial artist following a successful kickboxing career, including a first-round shellacking of Kim Couture in her Strikeforce debut.

#5. JORGE GURGEL AND ZOILA FRAUSTO

Combined MMA record: 23-8
Status: Just married
Tough cred: Like the Veras, the male half of this couple has had a tough go of it lately, losing four of his last five fights; Jorge will have a chance to redeem himself against Tyler Combs on the preliminary card of Strikeforce: Feijao vs. Henderson on March 5th. Meanwhile, Frausto has established herself as one of the greatest female fighters in the world, grabbing Bellator’s 115-pound title and putting an end to Megumi Fujii’s 22-fight win streak. (She’ll also be returning to action on March 5th, against Karina Hallinan at Bellator 35.) Hopefully that isn’t a problem for Gurgel’s ego.

Every year, a handful of MMA fighters ascend from obscurity to contendership, from prospect status to championship gold — from nothing to something. In honor of The Warrior’s Way, which hits theaters next Friday, we’d like to salute MMA’s breakout class of 2010, whose careers exploded this year, and who are all poised for even larger accomplishments in 2011.

PHIL DAVIS

Notable 2010 victories: Brian Stann (unanimous decision, UFC 109), Alexander Gustafsson (submission R1, UFC 112), Tim Boetsch (submission R2, UFC 123)
Between his pink shorts, action-figure physique, and aggressive grappling, Mr. Wonderful has become an unmistakable figure in the UFC’s light-heavyweight division. A year ago, he was a relatively unknown 4-0 prospect trying to re-invent himself as a cage-fighter after a brilliant collegiate wrestling career at Penn State, which culminated in a 2008 NCAA title. Davis made his Octagon debut this February, and has since sent four straight opponents back to the drawing board, beginning with former WEC champ Brian Stann, and ending with a Submission of the Night performance against Tim Boetsch. Having proven himself against gritty veterans and promising rookies, we’re about to find out if Davis can keep his dominant run going against the next level of UFC contenders.

COURT McGEE

Notable 2010 victories: Kris McCray (submission R2, TUF 11 Finale), Ryan Jensen (submission R3, UFC 121)
Court McGee’s life is an object lesson in never, ever giving up, no matter how dire the circumstances. A former drug-addict who was declared clinically dead after an overdose in 2005, McGee got clean and devoted his life to MMA. His stint on The Ultimate Fighter 11 this year was almost cut short after he lost a bum decision to Nick Ring, but McGee re-entered the competition as an injury replacement, and went on to choke out James Hammortree, Brad Tavares, and Kris McCray to earn the season’s middleweight trophy. In his first post-TUF test at UFC 121, he survived getting bombed out on by Ryan Jensen in the first round, and turned the momentum around when Jensen began to fade in round two. In the end, Jensen was tapping like the rest of them, and Court McGee had secured his reputation as one of toughest (and most likable) bastards TUF has ever produced.

Frausto def. Fujii via split decision. Photos courtesy of John Sluder
Back to Bellator 34 photo gallery pt. 1 (Lombard vs. Shlemenko)
Continue to Bellator 34 photo gallery pt. 3 (The best of the rest)

(Hector Lombard takes Alexander Shlemenko way out of his game, and Zoila Frausto doesn’t look like a woman who just won a fight. Photos courtesy of our own John Sluder. Full gallery coming soon!)

By ReX “Unnecessary Literary Reference” Richardson

Bellator Fighting Championships slouched toward Bethlehem last night, returning to the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida for the last show of the third season. Anticipation for this last show has been running high, and Bellator held back some exciting fighters for the finale, trying to put some asses in the seats. The women’s featherweight tournament concluded with monster featherweight Zoila Frausto versus undefeated phenom Megumi Fujii, and middleweight champ Hector Lombard putting his title on the line against eternal scrapper Alexander Shlemenko. Also on the broadcast was Serbian next big thing Dragan Tesanovic — who brought an undefeated record from the European circuit for his first fight in the US — as well as King of the Cage moneyweight Tony Lopez arriving in Bellator, presumably hoping they’ll establish a light heavyweight title for him to collect.

I’m not gonna lie to you: I wish the season had ended last week. Only three fights made the broadcast because decisions were the order of the night. Make that controversial decisions, since fans were already debating what kind of drugs the judges were on before the televised event was finished. Come on in past the jump, and I’ll recap the action for you and possibly bitch about judging a bit. I’m not even going to tease you with anything this time, because that’s just the kind of guy I am.

(Bellator: the only place where chicks who like to bang are respected.)

By ReX “Dude, Big Ups to the 90s” Richardson

Chances are very good that you missed at least one good fight card last night. If you neglected to tune in to Versus for WEC 51, you are likely still kicking yourself in the balls for not watching a card that was ludicrously stacked (and lived up to expectations). If you forgot about the Bellator Fighting Championships in all the excitement, you passed on some pretty fun stuff there, too: of eight fights, only one went to decision. The women’s division was on showcase last night with two semifinal bouts, seasoned with a double handful of the kind of hungry fighters who tend to knock the piss out of one another.

Follow me past the jump, because let’s face it, at this time of day you’re just killing time until the weekend anyway. I’ll let you know where I stand on the judges’ controversy. **dramatic music**

(Scott "Bear" Barrett rocking the most ironic boxer-briefs in Bellator history. Photo courtesy of Bellator.com)

By DL “@ReXone3” RichardsonJr

Bellator FC rolled into Chicago this week, in the second stop of the season 3 tour. On the menu for the evening are two heavyweight tilts, one women’s featherweight bout, and a handful of showcase fights. Bellator has continued to sign talent, and they bring in a few UFC vets to fill out the card: Brad Blackburn (3-2 UFC) is matched up with Dan Hornbuckle, who came up short last season in the welterweight tournament. Brian Gassaway lost to Diego Sanchez back at UFC 54 when Diego was the next big thing, and he faces off against fellow one-and-done Zuffa employee Kevin Knabjian, who lost to Brock Larson in the WEC. And for those of you who enjoy the finer things in life — pimpin’, traveling the world, and spinning elbows, Bellator presents Mr International himself, Shonie Carter.

Bellator has done everything they can to ensure an entertaining show. Will the tournaments continue to be action-packed? Will one of these vets make a statement with their performance? Will Jimmy Smith and Sean Wheelock correctly pronounce “Megumi Fujii”? Will Cole Konrad come out in a singlet, bro-ssiere, maybe both?

Well, I have some answers for you. You may not like them, but I got them….

("Yep, just another day in the life of Mr. International. So who’s gettin’ it first, ladies?" Photo courtesy of MiddleEasy.)

Bellator 25 goes down tonight at the Chicago Theatre, featuring two opening- round bouts from the heavyweight tournament, and a women’s tourney meeting between Jessica Pene and Zoila Frausto. MiddleEasy was on the scene at the weigh-ins, and passed along two important bits of information. First, that Shonie Carter came in six pounds overweight for his non-tournament bout against 8-7-1 journeyman Torrance Taylor, even after Carter removed his purple zoot suit. As MiddleEasy writes: "Bjorn Rebney, the founder and CEO of Bellator, seemed to work out a deal to give his opponent $100 for every pound Shonie was over out of his purse rather than the obligatory 20%. Mr. International eventually cut more weight to save himself some green." $100/pound? Torrance, you got screwed, buddy.

The second notable observation to come out of the weigh-ins is that Zoila Frausto, at 115 pounds, is the most ripped broad this side of Cris Cyborg. Photographic proof is after the jump…

(Photo courtesy of Michael Castillo)

By CagePotato contributor DL Richardson

It seems we expect female fighters to fall into one of a few archetypes, and we want to know what we’re dealing with as soon as we hear her name announced. “The Karate Hottie.” “Crazy Bitch.” “Beauty but the Beast.” “Cyborg.” But what happens when you meet a fighter who doesn’t fit neatly into these pre-formed notions? How do you reconcile the image of a fighter who dotes on her Staffordshire terrier and professes love for the movies Labyrinth and Stardust with the image of a professional kicker of asses and taker of names? Stalking could lead to some interesting revelations about a person’s habits and character, but it could also land you in traction. Easier route: call her and ask her a bunch of questions. Meet Jessica Pene, a participant in Bellator’s upcoming 115-pound women’s tournament who enjoys working with children, long walks on the beach, and subbing dudes forty pounds heavier than she is.

Ask Jessica Pene about her favorite fighter, and she’ll mention a handful of names. She expresses interest in “old school” fighters like Fedor Emelianenko, members of the new wave of MMA like Gegard Mousasi, and female division standouts like Megumi Fujii. One name, though, comes up repeatedly: “I love watching BJ Penn fight,” she says, perhaps unaware of the parallels between them.
 
Like Penn, Pene doesn’t have to fight to pay the bills. Born to a white collar family in southern California, Pene could have cruised through life, gotten a degree at a university and moved on to a cushy job. With her good looks and quiet charm, Jessica Pene could have made good money in advertising or public relations, and never once had to worry about making weight, defending a takedown, or getting punched in the face. Pene wakes and trains when most of us are still asleep, not because she needs to put food on the table, but because she is and always has been athletically inclined. Like Penn, she doesn’t compete because she needs a big payday. Jessica Pene fights because, deep down, she’s a fighter.

(Carano and Cyborg: Godmothers of the game. / Photo courtesy of SI.com)

By CagePotato.com contributor Jim Genia

First there was the Nineteenth Amendment of the Constitution, which empowered the women of the United States with the right to vote. The Sexual Revolution of the 1960s followed, providing them with birth control and shifting values, and liberating them from the social constraints of a rigid society. Then came Gina Carano vs. Cris “Cyborg” Santos, which showed that when you put two well-trained ladies in a cage and pay them to fight, they can really beat the crap out of each other (or at least one can thoroughly whoop the other).

Yes, great strides have been made in equality for the fairer sex, and thanks to the likes of Carano and Cyborg, this equality has stretched into the realm of mixed martial arts. Now, there are impending all-female tournaments scheduled for Strikeforce and Bellator, and Sarah Kaufman’s recent violent KO over Roxanne Modafferi made ESPN’s “SportCenter”. Whether you love it or hate it, the female version of limited-rules combat is here to stay. So here’s a look back at some of the greatest moments in MMA herstory. (Get it? “His-story”, “her-story”? Yuk-yuk.)

Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young, EliteXC: “Primetime”

On May 31, 2008, EliteXC broke the live network-television seal with “Primetime”, a CBS-broadcast event that saw Kimbo Slice smash James Thompson’s ear, Robbie Lawler poke Scott Smith in the eye, and an overweight Carano batter a smaller Kaitlin Young. Overweight? That’s right, for the first-ever female bout on free TV, ultra-popular fighter and former American Gladiator Carano failed to make the contracted 140-pound weight limit, coming in instead at 144.5 pounds. This wasn’t the first time the “Face of Women’s MMA” had failed to make weight. In fact, EliteXC had tailor-made the 140-pound division for her because making the standard 135-pound limit would’ve required too much cardio and crystal meth. To ensure that she didn’t miss weight at her next fight, which was a pairing in Miami against Kelly Kobold, Carano stepped on the scale buck naked. Thankfully, the towel held up by her father to conceal her nude form from the crowd only slipped once.

(Zoila Frausto vs. Rosi Sexton. Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA)

By DL “All’s Well That Enswell” Richardson

Like summer vacations, dorm parties, and that time you dated the sex-crazed stripper, all good things must come to an end. It was the final show for Bellator’s second season last night, and if you weren’t watching, it was your own damn fault. Louisville, Kentucky plays host for the finals in two weight classes, a women’s division superfight, and a bantamweight tourney qualifier, plus some regional action and (I assume) some horse races and bourbon tastings out of sheer habit. What surprises are in store? Who will turn in a stellar performance and make a name for themselves, as Ben Askren did just last week? Who will claim the poster-sized check and grin goofily as they hold it aloft for all to see, as Ben Askren also did last week? Will Alexander “The Dreidel” Shlemenko manage to keep his fight on the feet? Will we finally make up our minds about whether Joe Warren is a pretty cool guy who isn’t afraid of anything, or is he, after all, just a turbo douche? That’s a lot of questions — what are you, a preschooler? Seriously, if you start just asking “why?” every time I say something, I’ll turn this car around, and we won’t even go to the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory Tour. Follow me past the jump, and all will be revealed. If you’re good, maybe I’ll talk your mother into seeing the zoo. If not, I’m taking us to see the World’s Largest Bottle of Booze.