YAMMA

As The Fight Nerd reminds us, this weekend marks one year since the MMAbortion known as YAMMA Pit Fighting was forced upon the world.  In honor of this YAMMAversary, our nerdy friend has dug up some promo material that never saw the light of day.  Remember when Don Frye was originally scheduled to take on Oleg Taktarov in the "Master's Division" (read: old guys), and then had to pull out with an injury?  It proved to be Frye's smartest career move, but fortunately for us he had time to film some promos for YAMMA first. 

Say what you will about "The Predator," but he is the master of totally sweet burns that sound like something you'd hear down at the hardware store.  Plus, his delivery is second to none.  Today's fighters just don't compare their opponents' heads to a "five-gallon bucket full of buttholes" quite the way Don used to.

After the jump, relive the awful shitshow that was YAMMA, and then be glad that it went away forever.

We promise, no more Pit Fighting-related posts after this, but we wanted to officially drive the nail through the bowl-shaped coffin with these two videos.

First, the semi-final match between Ricco "#1" Rodriguez and Travis Wiuff, notable for the classic line "I don't like that jumping stuff." The crowd shot at the 2:37 to 2:40 mark is priceless. (As is Ricco's gut at the 4:45 mark.)

Also, here's the dreadful Scott Ferrall announcing video that broke the Internet when we tried to post it from DojoTube yesterday. It's up on YouTube now, and all is right with the world.

We had neither the time nor interest to watch YAMMA live, so if you want a more detailed recap of the sad spectacle than we had in our results post, we recommend going here or here. But if you want the entire depressing, cut-rate experience boiled down into three minutes, look no further than the "Masters Superfight" between Eric "Butterbean" Esch and Patrick "Pillbottle" Smith. Cheers to Smith for dodging Butterbean's infamous haymakers; jeers to Esch for not being able to get to his feet after slipping. Smith simply got down next to the 416-pound beached whale and dropped punches until Dan Miragliotta decided that the 200 audience members had gotten their money's worth. If only 'Bean could have fallen onto the revolutionary YAMMA incline instead — who knows what could have happened...

(The slim-n-trim Butterbean fell victim to a G-n-P at YAMMA's debut event.)

Well it finally happened...and without much of a hitch. YAMMA Bowl Fighting went down last night, but apparently it's still too much to ask for the organization to update their website. Shit, guys, it's just the click of a few buttons. Anyway, the main story was Travis Wiuff taking his record to 52-11 by winning three fights in the heavyweight tourney to pick up the title. He did so by using the leverage of the bowl's incline to take his opponents to the ground --- which is exactly what Meyrowitz said wouldn't happen with his ground-breaking new surface.

In other fights, Oleg Taktarov kneebarred Mark Kerr for the win and Butterbean verbally submitted due to a GnP from the fresh-outta-jail Patrick Smith. Overall, really boring night. Out of the eleven battles, seven went to boring decisions and three were less-than-thrilling submissions. There was only one KO --- a TKO to be precise. We'll see where YAMMA goes from here. Our guess is it'll slip into oblivion.

Here are the full results:

-- Oleg Taktarov over Mark Kerr - submission via kneebar
-- Patrick Smith over Eric Esch - submission via strikes
-- Travis Wiuff over Chris Tuscherer - unanimous decision
-- Travis Wiuff over Ricco Rodriguez - unanimous decision
-- Chris Tuscherer over Alexey Oleinik - unanimous decision
-- Alexey Oleinik over Sherman Pendergarst - submission via choke
-- Chris Tuscherer over Tony Sylvester - unanimous decision
-- Travis Wiuff over Marcelo Pereira - unanimous decision
-- Ricco Rodriguez over George Bush - unanimous decision
-- Bryan Vetell over Antwain Britt - unanimous decision
-- Lamont Lister over Oleg Savitsky - TKO on strikes

Well, we all knew this day would come. YAMMA 1 goes down tonight at the Trump Taj Mahal Arena in Atlantic City, New Jersey, starting at 9 p.m. The live pay-per-view card kicks off at 10 p.m. ET/7 p.m. PT, and the final-final-final lineup is as follows:

Masters Superfights (two five-minute rounds)
Oleg Taktarov vs. Mark Kerr
Patrick Smith vs. Eric "Butterbean" Esch

Heavyweight Tournament (one five-minute round in quarter- and semi-final matches; championship fight is three five-minute rounds)
Ricco Rodriguez vs. George Bush
Travis Wiuff vs. Marcelo Pereira
Chris Tuscherer vs. Tony Sylvester
Sherman Pendergarst vs. Alexey Oleinik

Alternate Bouts
Antwain Britt vs. Bryan Vetell
Lamont Lister vs. Oleg Savitsky

Standby Alternate
Ron Waterman

Weigh-ins were held yesterday, and Butterbean tipped the scales — and I mean literally, like the thing fell over — at a shocking 416 pounds, meaning he'll have a 176-pound advantage on Patrick "Because I Got High" Smith. Ricco Rodriguez weighed in at 267.2 on his first attempt, but was able to make the 265-pound limit an hour later. So for those of you who were hoping Double-R would be in better shape than during his paunchy performance against Antonio Silva at "Street Certified" in February, not so much.

We haven't previously reported on the alternate-bout fighters, so here goes: Bryan Vetell is a 3-3 IFL vet who had the honor of being defeated by both Ben Rothwell and Roy Nelson; Lamont Lister is also 3-3, and has fought in Cage Fury and Palace Fighting Championships; Antwain Britt has a 3-0 record in local promotions; and Oleg Savitsky, the night's lightest competitor at 199 pounds, has a 1-1 record with his loss coming at the hands of Tim Boetsch. Our money's on Savitsky to win it all.

We're guessing that the show pulls in 2,500 PPV buys, but we really have no idea what to expect. Sooooo...anybody plan on attending? Anybody buying the pay-per-view? Has anybody ever seen The Producers, where Bialystock and Bloom come up with the scheme to raise more money than they need for a guaranteed Broadway flop that will close after the first night? Could this have been Bob Meyrowitz's plan all along?