Kimbo

(Hint: None of the quotes were from this guy.)

From today's notable quotes, who said...

A) To look out for the "purple nurple" in his next fight?

B) That he wants to fight Dana White?

C) "It’s like if you have a Ferrari and a police officer gives you a speeding ticket before you turn the key."

D) "I’m definitely one of the players in the weight class. It might depend on the outcome of this fight and a couple of other fights in the UFC. The 155-pound class is definitely one of the most stacked in the UFC."

E) "I heard Kimbo Slice is calling me out. Hold on, Dawg, you aren’t even in my weight class! You don’t even fight in my organization!"

F) "My balls itch."

(Will Kimbo kick ass after "Without a Trace"?)

MMA Junkie is reporting that ProElite - the parent company of EliteXC - is set to announce a partnership with CBS to air their events. An agreement has apparently been approved between both parties.

The EliteXC airs on Showtime under EliteXC and ShowXC. As we already stated, EliteXC and Kimbo has had at least something to do with Showtime's recent spike in subscribers. Showtime is cheaper than dishing out for UFC pay-per-view events every month and you get to see tasteful adults films late at night as a bonus. This rumor is easy to buy into because CBS owns Showtime and has certainly recognized the channel's cross-over potential to network television - "Dexter" airing on CBS being a recent example. EliteXC: "Street Certified" pulled in a sold-out crowd and pulled in over 500,000 viewers to Showtime. Sure, Kimbo was a major part of that, but other EliteXC shows will reap residuals from him being in their fold. Network execs know that larger-than-life sports personalities draw ratings, so naturally they'd want to be in the Kimbo business.

And with Dana White ruining every chance of getting the UFC on network television - CBS was once the frontrunner to air UFC events - networks have started seeking other organizations to sign up. CBS and EliteXC is by far the marriage with the least hoops to jump through, so we could get this announcement very soon. The events would be broadcast live in prime-time and probably every month.

This could be a very large step and do for MMA what network TV has done for Arena Football...okay, bad example, but you get what I'm saying about the exposure. And I know I probably don't even have to mention it, but "What Would Kimbo Do?" would be natural fit for CBS's Saturday morning kid's programming. Story line ideas now being accepted.

(YAMMA's next "Super Fight" contestants.)

--- You guys rocked it again as we gave away our last copies of Chuck Liddell's Iceman: My Fighting Life. And don't forget to contribute to the latest challenge we tossed at ya'.

--- The EliteXC paid Kimbo serious cheddar. The other fighters not so much. But at least they attempted to 'splain their $1 payday.

--- YAMMA added to their "Old Farts Throwin' Down" debut event.

--- We continued shaking our heads at the Xyience mess.

--- Kimbo videos got some play, including episode two of "WWKD?" and a Showtime Short.

--- Sick submissions. Believe it.

--- UFC Fight Night 13 was upped to three hours and gained another fight.

--- News came at you in nuggets, morsels, bits, and small potatoes.

--- Wandy and Baroni made love, not war.

--- MMA reality series continued to be churned out of the crap factory.

--- We talked chicks - and CP reader Anonymous obviously has a score to settle with Kim Couture.

Enjoy the weekend. We'll do this all again next week!

When there's an MMA event, medical suspensions are sure to follow. The Florida State Boxing Commission has dropped their list of suspended fighters from the EliteXC: Street Certified joint that happened in Miami last Saturday. (Props MMA on Tap)

Tank Abbott got a 60 day medical suspension because he got KTFO by Kimbo. Joining Tank on the 60-day list were James Thompson, Kyle Noke, John Doyle, and Edson Berto. Mario Rinaldi wasn't KO'd but got the shit kicked out of him by Dave Herman, so he also earned 60 days on hold. On that note, Dave Herman and Jirka Hivati - who made $500 for the night - were told they must be cleared by a doctor before being allowed back in the cage. Herman due to a knee injury and Hivati because of a laceration on his face.

Let's talk more suspensions, shall we? The California State Athletic Commission has fined and suspended two fighters for dancing with mary jane. The fighters - Mike Moreno and Jermaine Wilson - both fought last Saturday at the Total Combat 26 show that went down in San Diego. Mike Moreno will be out of action until May 16th and was fined $500 (maybe he can get Jirka Hivati to cover his fine). Jermaine Wilson is out until August 14th and was fined $1,000. Wilson's penalty was a bit stiffer because it was his second marijuana offense in three months - his pro record is two fights, two lossess, and two suspensions due to drug use. That's rollin' Kendall Grove style.

Only four out of the fourteen fighters at the event were tested and half tested positive for drugs. And both fighters lost via submissions, so what does that tell you, Kids? If you're going to toke it up, improve your takedown defense.

On a side note, Total Combat's ring girls are called the Combat Dolls. They deserve close inspection...trust me.

So we discovered that Moyses Gabin actually made a hot George Washington for beating Jirka Hiavati last Saturday during EliteXC's "Street Certified". That seems fair, considering that the main event fighters collected $301,000 - um, collectively. Pro Elite got an e-mail from EliteXC Head of Fighter Operations, Jeremy Lappen, regarding the matter:

"That fight was put together by a local promoter. "Gabin is paid a salary by the promoter who sponsored that bout."

Outside promoter or not, Gabin got railed with no lube. Maybe he's into that sort of thing...or maybe he was dying for something from the Wendy's dollar menu. Either way, he notched a win, so it's all good...kind of.