Oleg Taktarov

As The Fight Nerd reminds us, this weekend marks one year since the MMAbortion known as YAMMA Pit Fighting was forced upon the world.  In honor of this YAMMAversary, our nerdy friend has dug up some promo material that never saw the light of day.  Remember when Don Frye was originally scheduled to take on Oleg Taktarov in the "Master's Division" (read: old guys), and then had to pull out with an injury?  It proved to be Frye's smartest career move, but fortunately for us he had time to film some promos for YAMMA first. 

Say what you will about "The Predator," but he is the master of totally sweet burns that sound like something you'd hear down at the hardware store.  Plus, his delivery is second to none.  Today's fighters just don't compare their opponents' heads to a "five-gallon bucket full of buttholes" quite the way Don used to.

After the jump, relive the awful shitshow that was YAMMA, and then be glad that it went away forever.

(The slim-n-trim Butterbean fell victim to a G-n-P at YAMMA's debut event.)

Well it finally happened...and without much of a hitch. YAMMA Bowl Fighting went down last night, but apparently it's still too much to ask for the organization to update their website. Shit, guys, it's just the click of a few buttons. Anyway, the main story was Travis Wiuff taking his record to 52-11 by winning three fights in the heavyweight tourney to pick up the title. He did so by using the leverage of the bowl's incline to take his opponents to the ground --- which is exactly what Meyrowitz said wouldn't happen with his ground-breaking new surface.

In other fights, Oleg Taktarov kneebarred Mark Kerr for the win and Butterbean verbally submitted due to a GnP from the fresh-outta-jail Patrick Smith. Overall, really boring night. Out of the eleven battles, seven went to boring decisions and three were less-than-thrilling submissions. There was only one KO --- a TKO to be precise. We'll see where YAMMA goes from here. Our guess is it'll slip into oblivion.

Here are the full results:

-- Oleg Taktarov over Mark Kerr - submission via kneebar
-- Patrick Smith over Eric Esch - submission via strikes
-- Travis Wiuff over Chris Tuscherer - unanimous decision
-- Travis Wiuff over Ricco Rodriguez - unanimous decision
-- Chris Tuscherer over Alexey Oleinik - unanimous decision
-- Alexey Oleinik over Sherman Pendergarst - submission via choke
-- Chris Tuscherer over Tony Sylvester - unanimous decision
-- Travis Wiuff over Marcelo Pereira - unanimous decision
-- Ricco Rodriguez over George Bush - unanimous decision
-- Bryan Vetell over Antwain Britt - unanimous decision
-- Lamont Lister over Oleg Savitsky - TKO on strikes

I know, I know: At this point it's like "who fucking cares," right? But for those of you who enjoy following the YAMMA saga on a schadenfreudic level, Mark Kerr has reportedly been taken off the suspended list in Connecticut, which allows the New Jersey Athletic Control Board to give him the go-ahead to compete at YAMMA's debut card this Friday, in a "Master's Superfight" against Oleg Taktarov. Well, assuming he passes final medical exams, that is — no foregone conclusion, considering how much abuse Kerr's body has endured over the years, both inside and outside the cage. The YAMMA bout would come just two weeks after his last fight; Kerr defeated Chuck Huus by keylock submission at a CCCF event in Oklahoma on March 29th, bringing his career record to 15-6.

FiveOunces also reports that Ron Waterman has been submitted and approved (pending final medicals) as an alternate for YAMMA’s eight-man heavyweight tournament. If you want to see pictures of what the YAMMA pit will actually look like, click here. An empty kiddie-pool with a fence around it? Revolutionary.

Previously: Goodridge Out of YAMMA; For Real This Time?

(Image search result for "f***ed up.")

Who could have seen this coming? We're getting just as sick of this as you are, but we're here to report another change. It was ri-fuckin-diculous the first four or five times they lost fighters, then picked them up again, then lost them yet again. It's now obvious Bob Meyrowitz and crew are putting together their own version of "The Producers" by creating a new MMA organization that is doomed to fail --- on purpose. I almost don't even have the strength, but here it goes:

Butterbean lost his opponent, Gary Goodridge (again), because GG got KTFO on March 30th. Now YAMMA Pit Fighting has announced Goodridge's replacement via their myspace page. You'll never guess who is replacing Big Daddy Goodridge.

YAMMA Pit Fighting has announced that Pat Smith will replace Gary Goodridge in the YAMMA Pit Fighting "Masters Superfight" against Eric "Butterbean" Esch in Atlantic City on April 11, 2008. Goodridge was forced to withdraw from the event after losing a fight in South Korea on March 30, 2008 in what has been determined a knockout. This rendered Goodridge ineligible to fight on April 11 by the New Jersey Athletic Commission, which requires 30 days of inactivity following a KO.

Yeah. That Pat Smith. The one who was supposed to fight Oleg Taktarov in the other "Masters Superfight" of the night, then was out due to his arrest, but who was resubmitted to fight Oleg when Maurice Smith ditched the fight. Mark Kerr is allegedly now taking on Oleg and Pat Smith is allegedly fighting Butterbean. As far as we know, the heavyweight tournament hasn't changed since the last time we checked.

I can't think of an event in history that defines "clusterfuck" like YAMMA. Next thing you know they'll fire the ring bowl girls and hire ring dudes. Until then, if you want a sneak of the YAMMA Girls practicing the YAMMA YAMMA dance, go here.

On a side note, YAMMA has over 2700 friends on myspace so join up if you're looking for a relationship, a friend, or just want to network.

(We may never get to witness this historic matchup.)

When we first reported that Gary Goodridge wouldn't be able to fight Eric Esch at YAMMA 1 because he was focusing on his MFC fight against Eric Pele next month, his crew came out in full force to correct us; Big Daddy was up for it, and was ready to "KICK SOME UGLY ASS."

Well, we had no idea that Goodridge had another fight booked to go down just two weeks before his scheduled appearance in YAMMA's Death Bowl. Apparently, he fought Mu Bae Choi in Seoul last Sunday and was knocked out in the second round. (Video can be seen here.) Subsequently, the New Jersey Athletic Control Board informed FiveOuncesOfPain that Goodridge would not be approved for his YAMMA fight due to health and safety concerns.

And it gets better: Yesterday we passed along YAMMA's official announcement that Mark Kerr will be filling in for Don Frye Patrick Smith against Oleg Taktarov in one of the event's "Masters Superfights," but the Kerr/Taktarov match hasn't been approved either due to Kerr's previous suspension in the state of Connecticut.

So, unless Bob Meyrowitz can successfully bribe the NJACB to allow Goodridge to fight on April 11th, both of YAMMA's headlining superfights are now in limbo. Our suggestion to Bob Meyrowitz? Save yourself the headaches and do what Strikeforce did — make the two guys who lost their opponents fight each other. Butterbean vs. Oleg Taktarov isn't a bad main event, in a county fair sort of way. Or, let Oleg slice his way through the eight-man heavyweight tournament and pull up Ricco Rodriguez to battle Butterbean in New Jersey's own version of the Megaton. Look, your fighting surface is a freakin' bowl — don't act like your credibility is at risk.