reality show

The Shaw family is a lot like herpes: nobody likes the fact that they even exist, and yet we can’t get rid of them.  You might recognize the above promo video for “Blood, Sweat, and Bling,” the reality show about boxing promoter Gary Shaw that we told you about some months back, but which thankfully seemed to die a quiet death in the alley behind some TV production studio.  Well, they didn’t bury this thing deep enough, because the show is reportedly back on, according to rich brat/local idiot Jared Shaw.

(The coaches, sans shirts, for "TUF 7".)

The season premiere of "The Ultimate Fighter 7" kicked off after UFC Fight Night 13 rocked the shit. If you're not drunk enough yet, hold on for a full rundown of what happened in the opening show of Team Forrest versus Team Jackson...

After a recap of the past seasons --- peppered with Dana's "you're gone" speeches --- we get underway.

Segment One
It took a few moments, but the 16 fighters standing around in the gym who think they are the official 16, were soon shown additional fighters. They all soon realized there were a bit more than 16 of them. Turns out, one or two of them can count and there are 32 fighters. Dana comes in and explains that he is tired of the "pussies and the posers" --- hence the solution of having 32 fighters. "This season, you're gonna' fight your way onto the show," says Baldy.

Rampage claims to have smelled the shit in the fighters' pants after Dana's speech. Meanwhile, Dana was being bleeped more than Ozzy Osbourne.

After some brief "confessional" interviews with some of the cast, the guys weigh-in after only 48 hours to make weight. I think I just saw my brother on the show, but he ran away years ago. Maybe I should call my Mom about that one...

For those keeping track, here are the fighters fighting to get on the show: Paul Bradley, Steve Byrnes, Mike Dolce, Gerald Harris, Dante Rivera, David Baggett, Matt Brown, Erik Charles, John Clarke, Daniel Cramer, Tim Credeur, Clarence Dollaway, John Hall, Nick Klein, David Mewborn, Mike Marrello, Jeremy May, Prince LaDonas Mclean, Aaron Meisner, Reggie Orr, Matthew Riddle, Jeremiah Riggs, David Roberts, Nick Rossborough, Amir Sadollah, Patrick Schultz, Brandon Sene, Dan Simmler, Jesse Taylor, Cale Yarbrough, John Wood, and Luke Zachrich.

Burger King has it their way and sponsors the first elimination fight. It pits Prince McLean (4-5) against Mike Dolce (4-4). Just a couple of sweet kids trying to make their way.

Segment Two
The fight kicks off and Prince --- after having earlier mentioned he has been on a losing streak --- takes a shot and they hit the ground. Rampage mumbles something about liking Prince, just before he gets taken out via TKO by Dolce. He seems to be okay until the fucking waterworks start. We're not even officially on the show yet and we have crybaby tears. The sad music tugs at my hearts strings. Not really.

Fight Two is Cal Yarbrough (0-0) against John Clarke (6-2). Seems Cal is kinda' pals with Forrest Griffin --- although Forrest isn't bettin' on him. However, his opponent had to drop 17 big L.B.s to make weight. He also says he's getting too old to keep doing this --- fighting in Boston pubs and stuff like that at his age. Um...no comment about the town that lives for St. Patty's and knocking out teeth for fun.

Segment Three
The fight is on and Clarke scores, prompting Forrest to say it's "garbage." Some punishment by Clarke has Yarbrough rolling around and almost getting nailed by a kimura. Some back-of-the-head warnings are given to Clarke --- thanks to an audience of back seat refs. They go to their feet for a bit, but it hits the mat again almost as quickly. Clarke almost pulls an armbar, but Cal slips it and almost gets caught in a g'tine. Somehow, the thing gets upright again but it looks like Clarke is whipped --- funny how dropping 17 pounds in 48 hours will do that to you. Cal tosses some shitty throws and it's called due to Clarke being gassed. Clarke really could have won the thing had he been in the shape he needed to be in. Now we should cue the sad music.

No "seeya" for Clarke, but he was probably too tired to do that, too. The next elimination fight sees Steve Byrnes (6-1) against Amir Sadollah (0-0).

"The Ultimate Fighter 7" is just around the corner and Spike TV has some new vids of the coaches hyping the April 2nd premiere. You can go here for more "TUF 7" videos and if you're feelin' badass, you can use the same link to apply for season 8 of the show.

Rampage waxes eloquent about Forrest Griffin's lack of ass-wiping ability:

Forrest Griffin doesn't know his assistant coach's name and is all about the new car:

Props: BloodyElbow

(Bennett's bringin' the Krazy to BET tomorrow night.)

It's tomorrow night, Ladies and Gents. I'm referring, of course, to BET's "Iron Ring" which kicks off its debut show at 11 p.m. (ET). MMAPayout has a solid rundown of the show, being described as a mix of TUF and the IFL with a twist. The twist being hip hop celebrity types owning the teams. The show is thirty minutes, but the debut will be two back-to-back joints.

Here's what MP is saying:

The one hour premier episode (two thirty minute episodes combined) focuses largely on the celebrity owners and their coaches. The show has a gritty feel provided by low key production and locations as well as a strong hip hop influence. The opening scenes looks more like the rawness of fight club than the spectacle of major MMA. Whether this will be the case once the actual competition begins remains to be seen, but the product definitely has a distinctive feel, unlike any other MMA production. Street Certified may be a more appropriate title for the series than it was for EliteXC's previous offering.

There are six teams with fighters reppin' lightweight - 170 lbs by "Iron Ring" terms - middleweight, and the heavies. Jamie Foxx's pal, Rashon Kahn, will be the token speech-maker. Chuck "Krazy Horse" Bennett and Shonie Carter are two of the coaches and the other four are Roberto Traven, Abdul Mutakabbir, Jermaine Andre, and Novell G. Bell. WTF? you might be asking, so we have the scoop on those dudes after the jump.

(Hey, if you say so buddy...)

Last week, we passed judgment on Settle Your Grudge, an ill-advised reality show that Rodrigo and Crosley Gracie are producing, in which two people involved in a feud get to settle it with some BJJ. Think People's Court, except with the "due process and justice" replaced by "fighting."

Well, it's apparently not too lowbrow a concept for Tito Ortiz, who may be signed on as the "famous face" described in the original press release. MMAMania came across this posting on RealityWanted.com which lays out more gory details:

New TV Show Starring TITO ORTIZ is Looking For You!!!!

Do you have a beef with someone and tried everything to solve it but can’t? Did your best friend steal your girl?

Did your old roommate shaft you on your rent? Did you have a falling out with your best friend and have no way to solve it?

Also looking for competitive friends or friends with a problem they need to solve and the only way to do it is to fight it out!

UFC Champion Tito Ortiz is going to train you to battle out your problems in the Octagon!! We are looking for ALL SHAPES AND SIZES to walk into the ring and settle it once and for all!!!!

Both of you would need to come down and audition in our Hollywood studio, so you must live in Southern California!

Casting ASAP!

Can you feel the excitement?! It's like they used a dartboard to determine how many exclamation points would go at the end of each sentence.

The posting reinforces what initially skeeved us out about the show's concept to begin with — their attitude that when personal disputes get too heated, "the only way to [resolve them] is to fight it out!" It's like they've never realized that losing a fight makes the average person more hostile afterwards, and winning a fight often makes the winner even more of a prick than he was in the first place. And if you're answering an online ad to be on a reality show, chances are you were a huge prick in the first place.

By the way, we suggest you spend some time on RealityWanted.com, which seems to be the social networking site for the delusional, neurotic and fame-desperate. I mean, just look at some of the bullshit they need bodies for. Hello stardom!!!!