Mike Goldberg

(Props: CagePotato reader "David D.")

There are some things in this mad, mad world that we'll never fully understand. Like, for example, why the movie Legally Blonde had to be adpated into a musical. Or why UFC play-by-play man Mike Goldberg took a singing role in a low-rent production of that musical. Skip to the 1:59 mark of the above video for Goldie's star turn as the lead character's argyle-socked father. Seriously, WTF? Did Mike lose a fight-picking bet to Joe Rogan? Does he direct community theatre on the weekends, and did the actor who was actually supposed to play the role call in sick that night? Did Guffman ever show up? We need answers, and the Internet is giving us nothing.

#10: Frank Trigg's stunned disbelief
Affliction: Banned, 7/19/08

It's not that Trigg's reaction when Fedor started landing bombs on Tim was inappropriate; in fact, this was pretty much how we reacted during the fight. But when you're being paid actual money to give insightful commentary about a sporting event, the viewers at home deserve a little better than "OH! OH-HO! OH-HO! OH-HO-NO-HO! OH!" Especially when you consider that this is a recurring trend with Trigg — when crazy shit goes down, the eloquence-train flies off the tracks, so to speak.

#9: Mike Goldberg tells us how precise Anderson Silva's precision is

The answer: Really. It's really precise. Man, sometimes Mike is better off keeping his mouth shut until it's time to ask Joe Rogan whether or not a fighter's arm is in trouble. By the way, if you can watch that video for all ten minutes, we'll send you a t-shirt.

#8: Kimbo Slice fails third-grade geography 
K-1's World Grand Prix 2008 Final, 12/6/08

(Unfortunately, we couldn't find a working video of this moment. Hopefully this Esther Lin/Lolcats mashup will be sufficient.)

Okay, give Kimbo a break. The man was extremely jet-lagged, and he clearly meant "the prefecture of Japan known as Kanagawa, which has Yokohama as its capital, where we are right now." It's not like he asked co-commentator Michael Schiavello what the fuck up with all the Chinese people in the building. That would have been embarrassing. And speaking of which...

(He's the one in the creepy Jesus t-shirt. Photo courtesy of the UFC 96: Friday Night Preparties set on CombatLifestyle.com.)

SackMikeGoldberg is a new-ish blog by BloodyElbow writer Mike Fagan that specializes in dissing Goldie's clumsy UFC commentary and the middle-school-caliber writing level of MMA bloggers. (Damn, bro — shoot fish in a barrel much?) Of particular interest is the site's official drinking game, which does seem like it would get you fucked up in short order:

To prevent a bad hangover the next morning, we recommend drinking a glass of water every time Mike throws it to "the veteran voice of the Octagon, Bruce Buffer." Though you should definitely do a shot of bottom-shelf tequila every time Goldberg does something that makes his partner visibly uncomfortable.

Now who wants to make the Joe Rogan drinking game?

CagePotato readers Jeb R. and Jamie sent in the above footage of Bob "Boooooooo!" Reilly's press conference from Friday, in which the New York Assemblyman compared MMA to prostitution, argued that the sport would actually be economically harmful to the state, and claimed that it would breed more violence in society. All incredibly valid points from a well-informed, not-at-all-senile government official. (Reilly also says that he could fill the Pepsi Arena for a dogfight, which, if that's true, he might consider leaving the bureaucracy field for the more glamorous and lucrative world of fight promotion.) It's one thing to read about this joker on our website; it's quite another to hear these specious non-arguments come out of his mouth. Again, sign our petition if you haven't yet for some reason, and if you can keep your emotions in check and your arguments high-minded, feel free to get in touch.

Below: Randy Couture's son Ryan increased his amateur MMA record to 2-0 on February 15th with this second-round submission victory over fellow lightweight Art Martinez at a Tuff-N-Uff event in Las Vegas; the fight starts at the 3:48 mark. Watch as Couture almost locks in a triangle in the first round, then an armbar, but Martinez manages to survive until the bell. (Damn those two-minute rounds.) It's all good, though — Couture immediately takes advantage of some bad positioning by Martinez in the second frame, and it's tap or nap.

(Props: XtremeCouture.wordpress.com)

After the jump: UFC announcer Mike Goldberg unwinds after Saturday's show by working some Muay Thai combos with a training partner. In a crowded bar.

(You ready for this? Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

We are live at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas for an extra-special, on-the-scene liveblog of UFC 91. What does that mean for your life? It means preliminary results, witty observations about crowd members, and constant updates as to what Arianny Celeste is up to throughout the night. At the same time, I don't want to miss out on all your hilarious quips about the live broadcast, including but not limited to the banter between Joe Rogan and the century man, Mike Goldberg, so please fill me in with your comments.

Liveblog begins after the jump. Hit refresh often. If you don't want the prelims spoiled for you...too bad. Just suck it up and deal.