Yoshihiro Nakao

#0: Heath Herring vs. Yoshihiro Nakao @ K-1 Premium 2005 Dynamite!! (12/31/05), 0 seconds

Who the hell knows what Yoshihiro Nakao was thinking when he planted a surprise smooch on Heath Herring before their fight at K-1’s 2005 New Year’s Eve show. (Maybe that the Texas Crazy Horse would become blinded by lust, leaving him unable to intelligently defend himself?) Unfortunately, not only is Herring “not gay,” but he resents the implication, and responds by punching Nakao right across his sweet, pillowy lips. Even if the match was ruled a no-contest, it’s still a KO at the 0:00 mark of round 1, earning it an honorary spot on our list of Fast & Furious knockouts. Not since the epic Gracie vs. Howard battle at UFC 3 had there been such a dramatic finish to a fight before it had even technically started. And the nickname “Kiss” still haunts Nakao to this day...

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(If that's not a man ready to be kissed, then everything I've learned watching "The Pick-Up Artist" is wrong.)

Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva seems intent on proclaiming his innocence on the steroid charge all the way to Japan, where he faces Yoshihiro “Kiss” Nakao on January’s Sengoku card.  But don’t think he isn’t focused on his opponent's not-so secret weapon.  If Nakao tries to put a little love on Silva’s lips, he’ll be in trouble.  At least I think that’s what this bizarre quote is meant to insinuate:

You need to be careful with the kisses too, huh?

Man, we are training this too. We’re training Jiu-Jitsu, Wrestling and that too (laughter), maintain a certain distance not to take that risk. My hands are kind of big and I’ll always take care not to get close. Who did once can do twice, I don’t want to have problems, I want to get there and fight. I don’t like jokes, I have no disinclination to any professional who I’d fought, and thank God I like all of them and they all liked me.

His hands are big?  This is related to kissing?  Did he mean lips or, I’ll just say it, head?  Who knows, but these translated interviews from Tatame are always fun to decipher.  I am a little disappointed to hear that Bigfoot doesn’t like jokes, though.  Has he heard the one about the boy who cried ‘false positive’?  You know what, nevermind.  I don’t think he’s in the mood for it.

As for whether Nakau will try and kiss him, the only advice I can offer is if you feel it, don’t be afraid to show it, man.  You don’t want to go through life wondering, ‘what if I had tried to kiss that big, weird-looking Brazilian guy?’  Trust me, it’s the worst kind of regret there is.

…and not because he tried to kiss Heath Herring again. Rumor has it that the Yakuza has beef with Nakao facing Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic at next week’s DREAM show. According a recent blog entry by Takumi “The Oriental Mystery” Yano (Nakao’s submission trainer, who took the #3 spot in our Sickest Submissions Ever list):

YAKUZA (japanese maffia)is terrible!!
I hear that If NAKAO fight Mirko, YAKUZA will kidnap nakao and abandon him in Tokyo Sea.....

So if the Fightin’ Smoocher mysteriously disappears after DREAM 1, you know where to find him.

The idea of the Yakuza trying to exert control over the new DREAM promotion is plausible to say the least — their alleged involvement in PRIDE is part of what sunk the defunct organization, and when ex-PRIDE staffers and K-1 execs came together to launch DREAM, criminal elements may have remained. (Read this for a surface-scratching recent history.) But who knows why they’d want to block Nakao from fighting Cro Cop. Could it have more to do with Mirko than Nakao?

(Props: FightOpinion)