Minowaman

Ah, the freak show.  Where honest competition meets the insatiable human desire to see something weird, typically in Japan.  In light of the events at this week's Dream "Super Hulk" tournament, we thought we'd take a look back and count down the ten craziest, most outlandish freak show fights in MMA history.  Some are bizarre enough to be fun.  Some are just horrible.  At least one is actually kind of good.  All are totally insane.  Enjoy.

#10: Fedor Emelianenko vs. Zuluzinho
Pride Shockwave 2005, 12/31/05

Zuluzinho (real name Wagner da Conceição Martins, which explains why he goes by Zuluzinho) got his shot at Fedor for two reasons: 1) he is the son of the now legendary Zulu, the Brazilian beast of a man who should be familiar to anyone who has seen “Choke,” and 2) because at 6’7” and nearly 400 pounds, he’s a big, scary-looking fat dude.  What he isn’t is quality competition for Fedor, and that’s why he got the fight on December 31.  Everyone knows Fedor loves to beat a freak’s ass to ring in the New Year, the bigger and freakier the better.  

Just in case there was any doubt that this was an almost criminal mismatch, Zuluzinho erased it by going down with the second punch thrown in the fight.  We like to think that as he was falling time slowed down like in the movies and Zuluzinho allowed himself to wonder just for a moment, 'Is there a chance that the Pride matchmakers haven’t been taking me seriously?'

(You call that a fighter's fist pose, Sakurai? Show me some goddamned intensity! Photo courtesy of DreamOfficial.com via Suki MMA.)

Fighting and Entertainment Group (FEG) — the parent company of Japanese MMA promotion DREAM — announced today that their upcoming welterweight grand prix will feature #9 pound-for-pounder Shinya Aoki, moving back up in weight class from last year's lightweight GP, in which he was a finalist. Perennial welterweight threat/amateur porn star Hayato "Mach" Sakurai will also participate in the 168-pound tournament (which kicks off April 5th in Nagoya, Japan), and freak show mainstay Ikuhisa Minowa will be on the card in a non-GP match. No other fighters have been named for the grand prix, though the winner of the DEEP 40 bout between Hidetaka Monma and Seichi Ikemoto is expected to join the field.

No word yet if Aoki and Sakurai will have to face each other in the first round of the grand prix, but the two fighters previously met at a Shooto event in August 2005, where the far-more-experienced (at the time) Sakurai defeated Aoki by unanimous decision. Aoki went on to win Shooto's middleweight (168 pounds) championship the next year — which he still technically holds — before dropping to lightweight in 2007. Both men have won their last two fights, with Sakurai winning a decision against Kuniyoshi Hironaka at DREAM 6 last September and scoring a TKO over Katsuyori Shibata at Dynamite!! 2008 on New Year's Eve, and Aoki earning quick submission victories over Todd Moore and Eddie Alvarez at the same events.

From Saturday...

Mirko Cro Cop steamrolls Tatsuya Mizuno in 56 seconds.

The night's freak-show feature: "Minowaman" taps out doughy Korean ex-baseball player Lee Kwan via kneebar.

(Aoki's magic tights couldn't protect him from a fight-ending elbow strike. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

Dream's debut event went down earlier today in Japan and showcased some soild action and an annoying "no contest." To the surprise of no one, Cro Cop rocked Tatsuya Mizuno, ending the fight by a KO just 56 ticks into the match. Mizuno was drilled repeatedly by Cro Cop's punches and couldn't recover to survive the onslaught.

MMA Weekly has a choice quote from Cro Cop:

"A lot of fighters refuse to fight me these days, but he had courage and he accepted," said Filipovic afterward from center ring. "For my next fight, I will need a stronger opponent, so anyone is welcome."

Well, if you need a stronger opponent, anyone is not welcome. Let's just get him a worthy adversary next time.

In the Lightweight Grand Prix fight many of us were eyeing, Gesias "J.Z." Calvancante and Shinya Aoki's fight was ruled a "no contest" which always blows. J.Z. caught Aoki with an elbow to the back - which is illegal - and the ref stopped the action. Aoki was given ample time to recover, but couldn't continue. "J.Z." reportedly did some weird arm-raising prayer routine in his corner while waiting for Aoki to bounce back. When the fight was called by the ringside doc, both fighters apologized to the fans.

In other notable fights, Mitsuhiro Ishida beat Jung Kyung by decision in a fight that had many complaining for lack of actual fighting. "Dida" Amade and mouthy Eddie Alvarez saw Alvarez overpower and pound away, giving the Philly native the win.

Tatsuya Kawajiri outagressed Kultar "The Black Mamba" Gill for a decision win, and Ikuhisa "Minowaman" Minowa kneebarred Lee Gwan into a submission at 1:25 of the first. The tournament winners will fight in May to see who goes to the finials in July.

(A Dreamy Fighter: ex-pro baseballer, Gwan Lee.)

Nothing like waiting until the last minute to name an opponent for Ikuhisa "Minowaman" Minowa at tomorrow's DREAM 1. And with all that extra time, you'd think they would have gotten a better opponent. Instead, Minowaman will be fighting a former Korean professional baseball player. Actually, he's still Korean to our knowledge, but no longer a baseball player. His name is Gwan Lee and he owns an MMA record of...who knows? His middle name is also reportably "Bun", which kind of makes me smile.

Look, we know Minowaman is on a two fight losing slide and needs a win. DREAM wants him to win, but can't we find some tomato can who has somewhat of an MMA career going? I'm just saying. As we've stated, this is a rockin' card with some great match-ups, but this one is even more weak than the Cro Cop versus Tatsuya Mizuno fight. Oh well, suppose you can't win them all.

Here's the final, final card for DREAM's debut show, set to go tomorrow in Japan. The tournament fights will be broken up by the non-tournament fights.

Non-Tournament Fights:
Ikuhisa "Minowaman" Minowa vs. Gwan Lee
Hayato Sakurai vs. Hidetaka Monma
Mirko Cro Cop Filipovic vs. Tatsuya Mizuno

Tournament Fights:
Joachim Hansen vs. Koutetsu Boku
Kazuyuki Miyata vs. Luis Buscape
Katsuhiko Nagata vs. Artur Umakhanov
Mitsuhiro Ishida vs. Bukyung Jung
Andre “Dida” Amade vs. Eddie Alvarez
Tatsuya Kawajiri vs. Kultar “Black Mamba” Gill
Gesias “JZ Calvan” Calvancante vs. Shinya Aoki

(Props to MMA Japan for the assist.)