Leonard Garcia

("God damn you, Jose, don't you ever leave me again!" Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

The WEC doled out a meager $276,500 in official salaries and bonuses for their "Brown vs. Aldo" event on Wednesday night, proving once again that short people are paid far less than their taller counterparts. Mike Brown earned just $15,000 for his failed title defense, and only five fighters broke the $20,000 mark. The numbers are below. Keep in mind that they don't include income from sponsorships and "locker room bonuses" — which in the WEC probably amount to a No Fear energy drink and cab fare back to the hotel — or deductions for taxes, insurance, licensing fees, athletic commission fines, and alimony.

Jose Aldo: $36,000 (includes $13,000 win bonus, $10,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
Mike Brown: $15,000

Manny Gamburyan: $36,000 (includes $18,000 win bonus)
Leonard Garcia: $14,000

Karen Darabedyan: $6,000 (includes $3,000 win bonus)
Rob McCullough: $20,000

(There's my boy.  Photo courtesy of WEC.tv)

As some of you have noted in the comments to our Gambling Addiction Enabler series, following our betting advice seems likely to lead to financial ruin.  Weird, I know.  It’s almost as if you shouldn’t make financial decisions based on what you read for free on the internet while you’re supposed to be working.

But in an effort to bring accountability and transparency to the Gambling Addiction Enabler, here’s how I did following my own advice for WEC 39.

The Bet: $20 on Mike Brown at -185 (BetUs.com)
The Outcome: Won a cool $10.81 (plus, you know, my original twenty back). 
What I Learned: Yes, I know I’m betting small here but it’s the WEC, which is basically the dog track of MMA.  You don’t want to blow hundreds of dollars on some greyhounds that will be euthanized four months from now, so to speak.  (To really lose your ass, you go to Santa Anita.  Which for the purposes of this ill-fated analogy, is the UFC.)  My faith in Brownie paid off here, albeit in meager fashion.  But I'm building my gambling fortune empire and like they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.  It also wasn’t built on twenty-dollar bets on guys who were favored at almost 2-1, but I’m conveniently ignoring that fact in order to savor this win.

(Brown vs. Garcia)

If you didn't believe it after he pulled out a first-round TKO over Urijah Faber in November, believe it now — Mike Brown is a freakin' monster. Brown's first featherweight title defense ended in quick, violent fashion, as the American Top Team fighter needed less than two minutes to pound #1 contender Leonard Garcia into helplessness, then end the fight with an arm-triangle choke from the top. Things looked bad for Garcia right away, with Brown smashing him to the mat with an overhand right just 18 seconds into round 1. From there, Brown worked some brutal ground-and-pound, bloodying Garcia's face. Garcia was able to stave off a rear-naked choke attempt, but Brown relentlessly worked to finish the fight on the ground, and made Garcia tap at the 1:57 mark. After the fight, Brown picked up a $7,500 Submission of the Night bonus, and welcomed a rematch with Faber, calling it the fight that fans want to see the most.

Speaking of bonuses, bantamweight Damacio Page earned a $7,500 Knockout of the Night bump for his 18-second storming of Marcos Galvao — who, somewhat unsurprisingly, had to leave the cage on a stretcher — while Johny Hendricks and Alex Serdyukov each took home an extra $7,500 for their action-packed Fight of the Night, which Hendricks won in a unanimous decision despite a late comeback from Serdyukov. Hendricks vs. Serdyukov was the last welterweight match to be featured in the WEC; both fighters are rumored to move to the UFC.

(Mike Brown prays to Krom for victory.  But if Krom does not help, then to hell with him, Brown will do it himself.)

You may have forgotten all about WEC 39 on Sunday night, such is your excitement for our party with Fight! Magazine in Columbus, Ohio, but we remembered because someone has to keep things in order around here.  In case you’re not content just watching a night of free fights on Versus, we’ll also help you throw away your money betting on them.  Because that’s how little we care about your welfare and happiness.

Here are the sweetest lines out there, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Mike Brown (-165) vs. Leonard Garcia (+160)
Marcus Hicks (+134) vs. Rob McCullough (-144)
John Franchi (-118) vs. Mike Budnik (+108)
Johny Hendricks (-312) vs. Alex Serdyukov (+300)
Chris Mickle (+700) vs. Jose Aldo (-850)
Damacio Page (-140) vs. Marcus Galvao (+130)
Alex Karalexis (-175) vs. Greg McIntyre (+165)
Phil Cardella (+151) vs. Danny Castillo (-160)
Rafael Rebello (even) vs. Kenji Osawa (-110)
Justin Haskins (+180) vs. Mike Pierce (-193)
Bart Palaszewski (-272) vs. Ricardo Lamas (+260)

Thoughts…

(Props to Ausgepicht)

You can't do it without looking like the creepiest fucking pedophile on Earth. Yet somehow the Jackson camp's patented nipple-tweak warmup has become a guarantee of success in big-time fights. Just ask Georges St. Pierre, Rashad Evans, Keith Jardine, and now Leonard Garcia (above), who are all coming off recent triumphs. (Apparently, fellow Jackson fighter Donald Cerrone also tweaked before his win last night against Rob McCullough.) Here's the list of fighters you may see doing it next. Michelle Watterson, if you're reading this, do consider it.