Erin Toughill

(Erin Toughill, limbering up before a pill-induced rage.)

In a development that will set female American Gladiators back ten years, MMA fighter Erin Toughill — who will be appearing alongside Gina "Crush" Carano in the next season of the spandex-and-ball-cannon freak show — was slapped with a restraining order last week by her husband Clark Bevans, who also happens to be an MMA fighter. As TMZ reports:

[Bevans] claims Toughill went "insane" with jealously, and accused him of being "a pedophile, sociopath and homosexual." Aside from allegedly beating him on several occasions, Bevans claims Toughill smashed the windshield of his RV. He also says Toughill "bodychecked, hockey style" a trainer at Gold's Gym he had dated years before. ... Bevans has filed for annulment. As for the restraining order, it was granted.

Sadly, that description only scratches the surface. Combing through the criminal report reveals the most amazingly batshit craziest bits. For example:

— "Over a twelve month period, during and after our marriage, Respondent obtained over nineteen (19) prescriptions for NORCO, a narcotic similar to "Oxycontin."

— "We both came clean about dating other people during our separation...lmmediately after the "coming clean" session, Respondent went insane that I had dated others, despite the fact that she slept with two of my best friends and is currently engaged to a fellow marine friend of mine. Since then, Respondent tapped into my cell phone and has harassed, stalked and threatened most of the people that she found in my text messages (women). Said parties include my attorney, my hairdresser, my manager, various employees, a restaurant owner and her daughter and even the janitor at Gold's Gym. She has even gone around and accused me of sleeping with my friend Andrew."

— "On April 4, 2008...Respondent arrived at Shear Talent Hair Salon, barged in at 10:15 a.m. and yelled 'Who's Shelley Smith?'. Ms. Smith is my hairdresser. l had not seen her in over a year. A couple of days prior, via text message only, we confirmed a haircut appointment for me at 11:00 a.m. for the 4th. Respondent then yelled out - 'Great, just wanted to see the bitch that was fucking my husband while we were married.' [ed. note: LOFLZ!] When I arrived and learned all of this from Ms. Smith and others in the salon who were shaken up, I realized that once again, Respondent is accessing my T-Mobil account."

Wait, it gets better...

Good news, Potato Nation: MMA/American Gladiators star Gina Carano will be taking a break from making us cry. EliteXC announced today that Carano has been booked for their May 31st CBS debut, and will face Kaitlin Young, a 4-1 fighter hailing from the Minnesota Martial Arts Academy. Most notably, Young won an eight-woman HooknShoot tournament last November, knocking out three opponents in the same night, all within the first minute of the first round. [Ed. note: Holy fucking shit! Mo chuisle!] So basically, Gina's gonna want to protect her face.

Also officially announced today is a bout between undefeated brawler Brett Rogers — who most recently knocked out James Thompson at "Street Certified"— and fellow heavyweight John Murphy. Meaning that the tentative main card, at this point, looks like this:

Kimbo vs. TBA (heavyweights)
Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith (for middleweight championship belt)
Gina Carano vs. Kaitlin Young (weight limit TBA?)
Phil Baroni vs. Murilo "Ninja" Rua (middleweights)
Brett Rogers vs. John Murphy (heavyweights)

Ooh, feel our goosebumps! The booking of Carano was clutch, as it adds a second mainstream-ish star to the network broadcast. We don't know how much green Gary Shaw had to promise in order to lure the semi-estranged Carano back into the fold, but if it helps put EliteXC over with a skeptical CBS audience, it'll be worth it. The only question is, has Crush been getting in enough MMA training between pugel-stick jousts and zip-line rides?

Speaking of which...