kung-fu

(Just one of the reasons why you should rent "The Story of Ricky" immediately.)

Long before we became obsessed with MMA, martial arts flicks satisfied our thirst for blood. We now pay tribute to the best of the best — and the kickass fight scenes and iconic stars that made these movies so essential. Click the links for video clips, and let us know how you feel in the comments section...

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10. Kickboxer (1989)

Say what you will about Kickboxer, but it delivers what it promises. Jean-Claude Van Damme plays Kurt Sloane, the European-accented brother to an American kickboxing champion (?) who travels to Thailand only to be paralyzed by the vicious Tong Po. It isn’t until Sloane seeks out the wisdom and awesomely unorthodox training of Xian Chow that he is ready to seek revenge in a brutal underground match that features no shortage of broken glass-encrusted fists and long, drawn-out screams.

Best Ass-Kicking: How do you prepare for the fight of your life? By getting drunk and beating up bar patrons while dancing horribly in pleated pants. How else?

Classic Quote: “I tell them you say they no good fighters... and that their mothers have sex with mules.” (Xian Chow)

9. The Legend of Drunken Master aka Drunken Master II (1994)

Widely considered to be Jackie Chan's masterwork, The Legend of Drunken Master centers on a good-natured devotee of "drunken boxing," who — like Popeye with his spinach — becomes an unstoppable force whenever he gets some booze in him. It's a perfect representation of Chan's trademark mix of slapstick comedy, white-knuckle stunts, and machine gun-paced kung fu, and the climactic eight-minute sequence is possibly the most astounding piece of fight choreography committed to film. If the whole movie was like that, Drunken Master would be much higher on our list. Unfortunately there's a lot of filler about ginseng roots and Western imperialism that you have to wade through to get to the good stuff.

Best ass-kicking: The aforementioned final fight between Wong Fei-hung (Chan) and the movie's two villains, which features fire-breathing, an attempted chin-in-eye submission, and some truly diabolical feats of agility.

Classic quote: "What does it mean when there's a picture of a skull?" "Good Stuff!" (Mrs. Wong and Wong Fei-hung)

8. The Protector (2005)

These days, Tony Jaa is the only action star worth watching. His films are marked by a high-impact ultra-realism, due to the fact that he's genuinely kicking the shit out of his unfortunate co-stars. (Like Jackie Chan, Jaa also foregoes the use of wires and body-doubles.) In The Protector, he plays Kham, a man trained in Muay Thai as a guard/caretaker of his family's sacred elephants. When his father is murdered and their prize elephant is stolen by a smuggling ring, Kham is sent into a kill-crazy rampage for justice. From his vicious arm-breaking spree near the end of the movie to his face-off against a pack of roided-out man-freaks, it's a thrilling showcase of Jaa's awe-inspiring abilities.

Best ass-kicking: The monumental tracking shot as Kham makes his way to the hideout of the smugglers. Four minutes of uninterrupted destruction, with no camera cuts — an absolute must-see.

Classic quote: "He came from Thailand; a stranger who lived by a code of honor that we have all but forgotten. His were the old ways, and there were those who mocked him for it. But his was the right path. The just path. And for me, he will always be a hero." (Mark)

(Props: Fightlinker)

One thing I miss about the old days of MMA was the martial arts purists who claimed that kung fu/taekwondo/karate/other very specific martial art that they trained in was better than MMA, only they couldn't prove it because their styles were too deadly/illegal/would make your heart explode inside your chest. Good thing this feud has erupted between Iron Ring's "Maoshan" and Nick "The Goat" Thompson.

The above video is an answer to Thompson's challenge. What I'd like us to focus on here is how lazily and predictably done it is. You find this out right away when they refer to Thompson as "The Bitch Goat". Really? The guy gives you a head start by being nicknamed "The Goat" and the best thing you can think of is to add the word bitch?

I also wonder about Maoshan's assertions that a) most MMA fighters are, like Thompson, hopelessly unskilled, and b) he can't participate in the challenge match because he lives in the hood and doesn't have $40,000.

I'm no economist, but I'd think that if I were a poor person who knew beyond all doubt that I was a better fighter than the losers making money as MMA fighters (except Rampage and Anderson Silva), I might do whatever it took to tone down my deadly killing moves just enough to make some cash as a fighter. Then again, I guess once your body is a killing machine, as this guy's clearly is, there's just no turning it off.

I don't think I've sat through a fight-flick since Ong-Bak (Jaa ftw!), but this is straight-up historic — Jackie and Jet on the same set, battling for cinematic kung-fu dominance. The Forbidden Kingdom hits theaters on April 18th, but you can get a taste right now by watching the fight scene above and the official trailer here.

More must-see video goodness after the jump.