New Jersey

(They just don't make MMA-themed t-shirts with the middle-aged manager's body type in mind, do they?)

MMA agent/Adrenaline promoter Monte Cox is stunned, absolutely stunned, by the New Jersey Athletic Control Board’s decision not to sanction the proposed boxing match between former heavyweight champ Ray Mercer and owner of an unblemished 0-0 boxing record Tim Sylvia.  Talking with Ariel Helwani at Versus.com, he called the decision “ridiculous,” adding: “It must not have been as compelling as the Bonaduce-Canseco fight.”

That would have been a sweet burn…if that fight had actually taken place in New Jersey and not Pennsylvania, as Helwani points out.  As it is, it's just a sweet burn on Pennsylvania, which, let's not forget, only recently decided to sanction MMA.

Now that the fight has been moved to the lawless territory known as Alabama (pronounced: Al-uh-bam-uhhh) Cox is trying to convince people that it's purely coincidental that he decided to relocate his entire event to a state with no sanctioning body:

(And you thought his career had already suffered every possible indignity.)

I never thought I’d type this sentence, but thank God for the state of New Jersey’s common sense.  The New Jersey Athletic Control Board is refusing to allow the ill-conceived Tim Sylvia/Ray Mercer boxing match to take place on the Adrenaline III card in Atlantic City on May 30.  Commissioner Nick Lembo wouldn’t say why he was denying the bout.  But we already know why, don’t we?

This is one of those rare instances where a government agency steps in to stop an incredibly dumb idea and we all end up thanking them for it.  Like when the FDA put an end to Crystal Pepsi (at least that’s how I remember it going down).  There’s no reason for formerly-serious MMA fighter Tim Sylvia to make his pro boxing debut against former boxing champ Ray Mercer, just like there’s no reason to make Pepsi clear.  (Note: whoa, now that I think about it, this might be the most perfect analogy I’ve ever made.  Tim Sylvia/Ray Mercer really is to combat sports as Crystal Pepsi was to the soft drink industry.)

The downside is that a capitalist go-getter like Monte Cox probably isn’t going to be deterred by an athletic commission telling him that a fight is too stupid to be sanctioned.  Instead he’ll likely save it for another event in a place where the commission isn’t so picky about letting ex-champs box guys with zero pro boxing experience.  Might I suggest the city of Japan?

Well, we all knew this day would come. YAMMA 1 goes down tonight at the Trump Taj Mahal Arena in Atlantic City, New Jersey, starting at 9 p.m. The live pay-per-view card kicks off at 10 p.m. ET/7 p.m. PT, and the final-final-final lineup is as follows:

Masters Superfights (two five-minute rounds)
Oleg Taktarov vs. Mark Kerr
Patrick Smith vs. Eric "Butterbean" Esch

Heavyweight Tournament (one five-minute round in quarter- and semi-final matches; championship fight is three five-minute rounds)
Ricco Rodriguez vs. George Bush
Travis Wiuff vs. Marcelo Pereira
Chris Tuscherer vs. Tony Sylvester
Sherman Pendergarst vs. Alexey Oleinik

Alternate Bouts
Antwain Britt vs. Bryan Vetell
Lamont Lister vs. Oleg Savitsky

Standby Alternate
Ron Waterman

Weigh-ins were held yesterday, and Butterbean tipped the scales — and I mean literally, like the thing fell over — at a shocking 416 pounds, meaning he'll have a 176-pound advantage on Patrick "Because I Got High" Smith. Ricco Rodriguez weighed in at 267.2 on his first attempt, but was able to make the 265-pound limit an hour later. So for those of you who were hoping Double-R would be in better shape than during his paunchy performance against Antonio Silva at "Street Certified" in February, not so much.

We haven't previously reported on the alternate-bout fighters, so here goes: Bryan Vetell is a 3-3 IFL vet who had the honor of being defeated by both Ben Rothwell and Roy Nelson; Lamont Lister is also 3-3, and has fought in Cage Fury and Palace Fighting Championships; Antwain Britt has a 3-0 record in local promotions; and Oleg Savitsky, the night's lightest competitor at 199 pounds, has a 1-1 record with his loss coming at the hands of Tim Boetsch. Our money's on Savitsky to win it all.

We're guessing that the show pulls in 2,500 PPV buys, but we really have no idea what to expect. Sooooo...anybody plan on attending? Anybody buying the pay-per-view? Has anybody ever seen The Producers, where Bialystock and Bloom come up with the scheme to raise more money than they need for a guaranteed Broadway flop that will close after the first night? Could this have been Bob Meyrowitz's plan all along?

(We may never get to witness this historic matchup.)

When we first reported that Gary Goodridge wouldn't be able to fight Eric Esch at YAMMA 1 because he was focusing on his MFC fight against Eric Pele next month, his crew came out in full force to correct us; Big Daddy was up for it, and was ready to "KICK SOME UGLY ASS."

Well, we had no idea that Goodridge had another fight booked to go down just two weeks before his scheduled appearance in YAMMA's Death Bowl. Apparently, he fought Mu Bae Choi in Seoul last Sunday and was knocked out in the second round. (Video can be seen here.) Subsequently, the New Jersey Athletic Control Board informed FiveOuncesOfPain that Goodridge would not be approved for his YAMMA fight due to health and safety concerns.

And it gets better: Yesterday we passed along YAMMA's official announcement that Mark Kerr will be filling in for Don Frye Patrick Smith against Oleg Taktarov in one of the event's "Masters Superfights," but the Kerr/Taktarov match hasn't been approved either due to Kerr's previous suspension in the state of Connecticut.

So, unless Bob Meyrowitz can successfully bribe the NJACB to allow Goodridge to fight on April 11th, both of YAMMA's headlining superfights are now in limbo. Our suggestion to Bob Meyrowitz? Save yourself the headaches and do what Strikeforce did — make the two guys who lost their opponents fight each other. Butterbean vs. Oleg Taktarov isn't a bad main event, in a county fair sort of way. Or, let Oleg slice his way through the eight-man heavyweight tournament and pull up Ricco Rodriguez to battle Butterbean in New Jersey's own version of the Megaton. Look, your fighting surface is a freakin' bowl — don't act like your credibility is at risk.