Greg Jackson

(Props: twitpic.com/photos/ariannyceleste)

I know what you're thinking: That's just too much sexyness for me to handle; I must turn off my computer for a while and walk around the block until my head clears. And Fabio knows you're thinking that too, and he's cool with it.

Apparently, the above image was shot during an infomercial-taping for Fabio's Healthy Planet Protein System, and since we just came into the possession of some very cool prizes, we're using it as the basis of a caption contest this week.

First up, we've got a signed copy of Greg Jackson and Kelly Crigger's new book for Victory Belt, The Stand-Up Game, in which Jackson shares his arsenal of striking techniques and methods for developing game-plans; the book even includes a chapter on street-fighting. Also, we have Ranger Up's new Team Sityodtong tribute tee to give away. If you haven't checked out RU's shirts before, do yourself a favor.

Please submit your captions to the above picture in the comments section below by noon ET on Friday. The best one will get the book, the second best one will get the shirt, and any other runners-up that we deem worthy will get the Hall of Fame. Cool? Well, get goin'.

(Props: MMA Mania)

"It's finding what's called a 'safety zone', and that's a place that when he's in trouble he goes to. It could be a clinch, it could be a takedown, it could be kickboxing, wherever he feels comfortable and safe. And then you have three ways of getting around it, you can either avoid it, nullify it, or smash it...hopefully we'll be able to exploit [Thiago Alves's safety zone] and move around it."

In this FOX Fight Game interview, Georges St. Pierre's trainer Greg Jackson discusses one of the most important elements of his famous game-plans — attacking an opponent not where he's strongest or weakest, but what he falls back on when things get rough. He wouldn't name what he thinks Alves's safety zone is, though he does admit that Alves's left knee and left hook are weapons to be feared. Also in the interview, Jackson describes game-planning as a structure that "the artist" has to be able to work within, and talks about the crucial balance between cooperation and competition that exists at his gym. GSP and Pitbull are scheduled to get it on in 11 days at UFC 100.

(Sonnen gives Paulo Filho an intervention, Team Quest-style. Photo courtesy of BaltimoreSun.com.)

Although initial reports claimed that Ed Herman would be stepping in for the injured Yushin Okami against Dan Miller at UFC 98 (May 23rd, Las Vegas), there's been another change in plans. It seems that Herman has declined the fight — likely because he just competed at UFC 97 and the five-week turnaround would be too short — and Okami's actual replacement will be Herman's Team Quest teammate Chael Sonnen.

Sonnen was most recently submitted by Demian Maia in his UFC return fight in February, which dropped his overall Octagon record to 1-3. The WEC/Bodog vet was slated to face Wilson Gouveia at UFC 102 (August 29th; Portland, Oregon) and still hopes to take that fight if his scrap with Dan Miller goes well. Though considering Miller's skill with submissions (and Sonnen's tendency to get submitted), Sonnen may be out of a job by this summer.

In other news...

If you've ever wanted to see what a Nevada State Athletic Commission hearing looks like from the inside, you might be interested in these videos (courtesy of CageWriter), which show Karo Parisyan getting reamed for his painkiller use, Phil Nurse defending his own reputation, and BJ Penn crying for justice.  In the above clip, Karo explains why he took those unapproved meds, and throws himself on the mercy of the commission. The "drifting in and out of the state of reality" line comes at 5:54, and the ruling begins at 7:48, where Commissioner John Bailey lays down the suspension and fine, and suggests that in the future, a mixed martial artist's entire win bonus should be forfeited if he tests positive for banned substances.

Below, Nurse admits that in retrospect, his use of Vaseline during the St. Pierre/Penn fight "doesn't look good," and gets grilled about it while BJ Penn stares him down at the other end of the table. After the jump: Penn comes out against all forms of cheating, one commission member basically calls bullshit on the idea that you can ingest something that makes you slippery, and another is just glad that GSP didn't beat him to death. Plus, Penn's lawyer Raffi Nahabedian calls for a full-scale investigation on Lubrigate.

(If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.)

B.J. Penn brought the big guns to today’s hearing with the Nevada State Athletic Commission.  Not only did the Hawaiian have his lawyer on hand to go over his twenty-page complaint, Penn’s mother, Lorraine Shin, got up and read a statement that, according to MMA Weekly, “accused the Commission of not doing its duty to protect fighters.”

That’s right, Penn brought his mother.  And she was allowed to deliver a statement for some reason.  Apparently someone was worried that this whole greasing scandal thing hadn’t gotten ridiculous enough yet.  Problem solved.