Gladiator Challenge

(Props: "Captain Insano X" on the UG)

Though he was supposed to fight at Gladiator Challenge two days ago, Dan "Stevia Soldier" Quinn's long-awaited match with Dave Huckaba has been pushed back to September 7th. No worries — that just means he has another month to hype the fight. Though he looks to be in solid physical shape in this video shot last week, Quinn's narrative is as disjointed (and bizarrely compelling) as ever, as he suggests the use of jackets that only fighters can wear, laments the plight of the "sistas," orders his fat-ass former teammate Cedric Figaro to get on Stevia immediately, briefly reveals a phobia about axle grease, and re-enacts the famous scene at Juanita's as an action movie. Quinn's actually been quite prolific with the video-making lately; he's recorded four more clips since this one, and they can all be seen here.

Bonus: After the jump, Stevia-hater Dave Huckaba responds to Quinn's recent videos, and manages to use the word "okay" as much as Dan does.

Some of you will look at the above image and start doing joyous cartwheels around the room. Some of you will just see a poster for a local MMA card held at a county fair and say "I don't get it." And that's because you haven't been introduced to the prophetic glory of Dan Quinn.

For the unfamiliar, Quinn is a 4-4-1 professional fighter who's had the dual honors of being choked out by Frank Mir and going three rounds with Jason Lambert. As a linebacker at Notre Dame, he once picked Iron Head Heywood out of the air at fourth and inches; it was, in Quinn's estimation, the greatest stop in college football history. (Quinn was later kicked off the team amid allegations of sexual assault.) He once knocked out five men in one night at Juanita's in Encinitas, California. He's discovered the secret of weight loss and tumor-melting, via Stevia and cold fission. And oh yeah, he's preparing for his first fight since a January '05 TKO loss to Dan Molina, and will be facing Dave Huckaba, who has knocked out Bo Cantrell twice, once in 26 seconds and once in five seconds.

But those are just facts, and statistics, and they don't really tell the story of a man. To understand who Dan Quinn really is, you'll have to watch his shirtless mirror-rants on YouTube.