UFC 90

("Screw it, nobody's watching anyway.")

I know, I know, you're all antsy to learn how many pay-per-view buys UFC 91 took in, and whether Dana White's estimate of 1.2 million was either strongly optimistic or batshit delusional. You'll have to be patient, because numbers from UFC 90 are just coming out now — and they aren't too encouraging. Says the Wrestling Observer Newsletter:

The trending patterns as a prediction of the buy rate continued to be right on as the 10/25 show in Chicago headlined by Anderson Silva vs. Patrick Cote did 300,000 buys.

Silva has never been a big main-event draw, PPV-wise. His headlining appearances at UFC 82, 77, and 67 all translated to buys in the 330,000-350,000 range. But in the run-up to last month's Chicago show, the UFC had been trying extra hard to push him over as a fan-favorite, frequently repeating the talking point that UFC 90 was your chance to see the world's greatest pound-for-pound fighter in action. The Spike TV special Countdown to UFC 90 brought in a record number of viewers, which was seen as a great sign for the event's performance on pay-per-view, though MMA Payout points out that the strong viewership could have been due to having a high-rated TNA wrestling show as a lead in.

(Cote enjoying the hell out of his alternate reality.)

When I saw the video of Patrick Cote looking inebriated in a hotel room and talking about how bad he had "fucked up" Anderson Silva in their fight at UFC 90, I assumed this was something he needed to tell himself in order to enjoy his post-fight party. We all have our own pleasant fictions, and I can't begrudge a man with a blown out knee and a cut forehead from getting all hopped up on, well, whatever he was hopped up on, and telling himself a palatable story about what had happened that night.

The fact that he still believes it is a little more disconcerting. Speaking about the fight on MMA Rated Radio, Cote seems to have decided that Silva's antics weren't a show of disrespect, but rather a sign that the champ was so utterly confused in the fight that he didn't know what to do:

"I don't think it was a lack of respect. I just think my game plan was perfect. I was moving a lot, going forward but not running after him and I don't think he was expecting a lot of leg kicks like I did. He gave me a very good shot and I was still there...He didn't want to exchange, I think, with me."

That is one possible interpretation. Granted, it's the interpretation that's most generous to Cote, and the interpretation that only Cote seems to subscribe to, but it's an interpretation nonetheless. As for Silva offering his hand to help him up, Cote has an explanation for that one too:

(It's like he saw that Condom Depot ad and became enraged. I've never seen a man who hates birth control with such a ferocious passion.)

You bastards have done it now. You fans and media with your hate mail and hate articles, accusing Anderson Silva of conduct unbecoming a champion. Now he's pissed. And Silva is not like your sister. He doesn't turn to ice cream when he's upset. He turns to awesomely destructive violence, and he would prefer to do it as soon as possible according to UFC president Dana White, who had this to say to the Las Vegas Review-Journal regarding the champ:

"He's flipping out. He wants to fight again, like, on Nov. 15," White said. "He's (upset) about his performance and he wants to fight again immediately."

Now that's the attitude you want from your champ. Of course, it's completely unreasonable to think the UFC could get him a worthy opponent in time for UFC 91, so don't get too excited. But this might be the perfect time for creative matchmaking on the UFC's part. Maybe they can't get a top-level challenger, but could they get three mid-level guys? Middleweights, light heavyweights, anyone who needs a paycheck, really. How about if Silva faces Ed Herman, Houston Alexander, and an unemployed ninja all at once?

No, that's still not fair. Okay, the ninja can use his throwing stars and Houston can use illegal knee strikes. Ed Herman, he has to show up drunk. Check that, he gets to show up drunk. This is one night he's not going to want to remember.

(Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

After a bizarre UFC 90 main event that saw middleweight champ Anderson Silva try to help Patrick Cote off the ground mid-fight, circle the cage with his arms down, and whip his hands around in a kung fu-esque display, there were many fans who thought Silva was, oh, I don't know, not taking Cote seriously? But despite our attempts to guess his motivation, Silva says his only concern was winning the fight. As he told Sherdog:

"There are many people saying I was disrespecting Cote, but this is absolutely not true. My game plan since the beginning was fight five rounds, inducing him to commit mistakes and capitalize on that during the first three rounds and look for the knockout during the fourth and fifth rounds. It was working, and the biggest proof of that is that I almost didn’t waste any blows. I connected with a couple of good punches and knees, but unfortunately he got hurt and the fight was over. This is not my fault."

Taking Silva at his word, maybe he's only guilty of showing Cote far more respect than fans thought the challenger deserved, which is sort of ironic in light of their subsequent criticisms. Still, it wasn't the kind of fight that people paid to see. And Silva's striking maybe wasn't as effective as he thought it was; by Compustrike's count, he only landed 39% of his arm strikes — decent, but well below his average.

In a related story, Fighters Only is passing along the rumor that Silva could meet Chuck Liddell in a headlining bout at the UFC's February 21st card, which will be held in London. When asked about the rumor, Silva told Sherdog "Thank you for the information, I didn’t know about that. Let’s see what [Dana White] will say."

Dana White's not such a bad guy. Despite heaping scorn upon the legend of Kimbo Slice at every opportunity, he's still willing to give him a job. Or at least he's willing to give him the chance to prove himself worthy of a job, though he sounds less than optimistic about the bearded one's chances:

"He can be on The Ultimate Fighter. What's he done other than get 10 million hits on YouTube, what's he done to deserve to be in the UFC? Nothing. I don't consider him a real athlete. He won't win The Ultimate Fighter. The offer's out there if he wants to take it, but he won't win it."

Nothing like an offer that contains within it a prediction that you will fail should you accept said offer. That's a great negotiating point to start from.

Slice's manager, Icey Mike, doesn't seem eager to take White up on that offer: