Gilbert Yvel

(This photo was taken directly after Gilbert stomped a waitress to death for bringing him a Bud instead of a Bud Light. Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

He may be infamous for biting, eye-gouging, and referee-assaulting, but that doesn't mean Gilbert Yvel wouldn't be a welcome addition to the UFC. Buried in a report about Lil' Nog's recent signing, MMA Weekly claims that Yvel is on the list of fighters who have been picked up by Zuffa after the collapse of Affliction. The 33-year-old Dutch heavyweight — who sports a record of 36-13-1 with one no-contest, and has claimed all of his wins by stoppage — most recently scored a grisly knockout over Pedro Rizzo at June's "Ultimate Chaos" show. Before that, he got crushed by Josh Barnett at Affliction: Day of Reckoning, which snapped a seven-fight win streak.

(Bobby Lashley vs. Bob Sapp. Props to MMA Scraps.)

We were promised a train-wreck -- what we got was slower and far less dramatic. (An ice-cream truck crashing into a tree, maybe?) Bobby Lashley got down to business right away in his main event fight with Bob Sapp at last night's "Ultimate Chaos" show in Biloxi, taking the Beast down immediately and working some steady ground-and-pound in half-guard for a couple minutes, until Sapp tapped from the abuse. Unfortunately the ref didn't see it, so Lashley was forced to beat on the helpless 322-pounder some more until a second tap finally caught the ref's attention. Lashley moves to 4-0 in his budding MMA career, and plans to fight again in September.

The co-headlining fight looked like it was going to turn out the same way, with Pedro Rizzo quickly establishing top position on Gilbert Yvel and throwing down elbows. But Yvel stayed active, kicked Rizzo off and escaped to his feet. Back to his comfort zone, Yvel unleashed a striking assault that sent Rizzo to the mat, and knocked him out cold with strikes from the top. Yvel increased his record to 35-12, with 30 wins by KO/TKO; after the fight, he confirmed that he'll be facing Paul Buentello at Affliction: Trilogy on August 1st.

(The t-shirt with short shorts hidden underneath is not a good look for anyone, I don't care who you are.  Photo courtesy of NBC Sports.)

There was a lot to love and hate about Affliction’s second effort, from the free undercard on HDNet to the painfully moronic antics of  Scott Ferrall and Chuck Zito.  We’ve been crunching the numbers on every aspect of the event since it ended on Saturday night, and here’s what we came up with.

Fedor Emelianenko +312

The tough part about being Fedor is that it’s hard to do anything too impressive at this point.  Just winning isn’t enough.  As if sensing this, he went ahead and finished a top five heavyweight with a one-punch KO in the first round.  Now that’s sufficiently impressive.

Andrei Arlovski  -43

Let’s be honest: right up until he began feeling too good about himself and leapt into unconsciousness, Arlovski looked good.  His striking was sharp and accurate and fast, and he was using his reach well.  For about three minutes, he seemed like the better fighter.  And then…

Josh Barnett +30

Great, he pounded on a guy with no ground game for three rounds until said guy decided to quit.  Big deal.  This is exactly why this was a bad fight for Barnett.  There’s nothing for him to gain at this point by beating a guy like Yvel.  At least it clears the way for a fight with Fedor.  Assuming Affliction can hang around that long.

Be honest, when Fedor's legs went briefly wobbly at around the 0:17 mark, you thought to yourself, 'Oh shit, Arlovski might actually do it.'  Then Arlovski jumped into one of those "overhand murderballs" that Goldstein warned against, and you remembered, 'Oh yeah, it's Fedor in there.'

More videos from last night's fights after the jump.
 

(Props: Keegan on the UG)

Affliction paid out a little over $3.3 million in disclosed fighter salaries for “Day of Reckoning,” pretty much guaranteeing that they’ll take a financial loss on this event, as we all expected.  Naturally, the payouts include several head-scratchers and jaw-droppers, including $1.5 million to Andrei Arlovski for his 3:14 KO loss to Fedor Emelianenko last night.  At least when you compare it with Tim Sylvia’s $800,000 loss in 0:36, it’s proportional.  Now someone explain to Mark Hunt where his $4 million is.

Here’s how the disclosed salaries broke down:

Fedor Emelianenko $300,000 (no win bonus)
Andre Arlovski $1,500,000 (win bonus would have been $250,000)
Josh Barnett $500,000 (no win bonus)
Gilbert Yvel $30,000 (win bonus would have been $9,300)
Vitor Belfort $200,000 (includes $80,000 win bonus)
Matt Lindland $225,000 (win bonus would have been $75,000)
Renato "Babalu" Sobral $90,000 (includes $30,000 win bonus)
Thierry Sokoudjou $50,000 (win bonus would have been $50,000)
Paul Buentello $90,000 (includes $20,000 win bonus)
Kiril Sidelnikov $10,000 (win bonus would have been $25,000)
Dan Lauzon $12,000 (no win bonus)
Bobby Green $4,000 (win bonus would have been $4,000)
Jay Hieron $45,000 (includes $25,000 win bonus)
Jason High $10,000 (win bonus would have been $5,000)
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira $150,000 (includes $30,000 win bonus) def. Vladimir Matyushenko $50,000 (win bonus would have been $30,000)
L.C. Davis $14,000 (includes $7,000 win bonus)
Bao Quach $7,000 (win bonus would have been $6,000)
Albert Rios $6,000 (includes $3,000 win bonus)
Antonio Duarte $3,000 (win bonus would have been $2,000)
Brett Cooper $10,000 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Patrick Speight $2,000 (win bonus would have been $3,000)

Thoughts…