liver shot

(Clearly, this man has much to teach us all.)

Let's not kid ourselves, the San Francisco 49ers suck. No disrespect, Niners fans, but you know it's true. They haven't had a winning season since 2002 and they won just five games last year. They are, in a word, shitty. So what do you do to right the ship if you're head coach Mike Nolan? Simple, you call on "El Guapo" to help you out.

According to the San Jose Mercury News, Bas Rutten dropped by 49ers training camp to give a motivational speech about how not to be a total pussy:

Rutten, 43, was born in the Netherlands and joked that he doesn't understand a thing about football unless his friends are there to explain the rules.

"Fighting is easy to understand,'' Rutten said. "You just hit the guy as hard as you can."

But at the invitation of Coach Mike Nolan, the fighter said he planned to teach the 49ers a philosophy he considers universal to all sports.

"My message to them is about how to mentally deal with things,'' Rutten said. "Some of what I talk about will be conditioning of the body, but my belief is that everything starts with the mind. You win a fight not with your strength but with your mind."

Apparently Rutten isn't the only non-traditional motivational speaker to visit the Niners lately. Former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer gave a talk to the team about how to screw with the press. We don't know exactly what Bas had to say to the them, but I think it's safe to assume that we'll see way more liver shots from the 49ers this year. You can't argue with what works.

(Props: Steve Cofield)