Jonathan Goulet

(Props: Altofsky)

According to Mike Goldberg, Todd Duffee's seven-second pwnage of Tim Hague at UFC 102 was "officially the fastest knockout in UFC history." Previously, the company line was that James Irvin and Don Frye held the record jointly with their eight-second knockouts of Houston Alexander and Thomas Ramirez, respectively. But hardcore fans know the truth. Above is a gif of Duane "Bang" Ludwig's knockout of Jonathan Goulet at UFC Fight Night 3, in which Mario Yamasaki rushes in to save the starched Canadian at the four-second mark. So why don't we ever hear about it? Well, the timekeeper effed up and reported the official time of the stoppage as 11 seconds. And that's still how they have the time listed on UFC.com and Sherdog. Duffee may have given us one of the most fearsome Octagon debuts since Tank Abbott, but at the very least his "record" should have an asterisk next to it...

#5: Jonathan Goulet vs Joey Brown @ TKO 17 (9/25/04), 7 seconds
He calls himself the Road Warrior, but Jonathan Goulet may as well be nicknamed “The Flash.” Twenty-five of the UFC/TKO veteran’s 32 pro fights have ended in the first round, and six have ended within the first 30 seconds. (Luckily, he’s won most of them.) Goulet’s all-time fastest victory was this seven-second KO against Joey “Knockdown” Brown. All it took was a head kick, a quick Thai clinch, and a knee fired right up the middle, and Brown was in dreamland. The win was Goulet’s fifth in what became a ten-fight win streak, which culminated in him scoring a contract with the UFC, shooting down Jay Hieron in his notoriously bloody Octagon debut, and choking out Shonie Carter back in Canada. As for Brown, he still seemed to be dizzy from Goulet’s knee during his next four fights, losing all of them.

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('Bones' Jones: Nothing but awesome.)

Between his unstoppable takedowns and wildly unorthodox YouTube-influenced striking, Jon Jones has caught the attention of many UFC fans, who see him as one of the future stars of the light-heavyweight division. And after his one-sided mollywhopping of Stephan Bonnar at UFC 94 in January, he'll be getting another big name to prove himself against. TheGarv has confirmed that Jones will compete next at UFC 100 (July 11th, Las Vegas) where he'll take on former heavyweight Jake O'Brien. Known primarily as a wrestler, O'Brien most recently won a split-decision over Christian Wellisch during his light-heavyweight debut at UFC 94; before signing with the UFC, he racked up a 7-0 record with all wins by first-round T/KO, but he hasn't won a fight by stoppage since August 2006. Jones would certainly seem to have an advantage in the standup, and if he can neutralize O'Brien's wrestling — a very likely scenario — it'll be Jones's fight to win.

In other booking news...

(Don't stop believing. Photo courtesy of Fighters.com.)

— Evan Tanner's memorial will be held at 2 p.m. on September 27th at the Civic Center (401 South Buchanan Street) in Amarillo, Texas. Tonight's Ultimate Fight Night broadcast will be dedicated to Tanner, and an Evan Tanner tribute show will be airing soon on Spike.

— Even though the ink on Houston Alexander's new five-fight contract extension hasn't even dried yet, Dana White admits that if the Assassin loses against Eric Schafer tonight, he'll need to leave the UFC for a while to rack up some wins in other promotions.

— Roger Huerta's loss to Kenny Florian last month was very hard on him emotionally, and he's desperate for a rematch. In an interview with Fighters Only Magazine, he also seemed to imply that he'll be leaving Greg Jackson's team: "I would like to go back to the way I used to train, with the people I used to train with. Those guys were like brothers to me, not just trainers."

— TUF 7 finalist C.B. Dollaway will reportedly return to the Octagon at UFC 92 (December 27th, Las Vegas) against middleweight veteran Jorge Rivera. Dollaway is officially 1-1 in the UFC at this point, after being submitted by Amir Sadollah via armbar at the TUF 7 finale in June, then submitting Jesse Taylor via Peruvian neck tie at "Silva vs. Irvin" in July.

— Speaking of fight bookings, Mike Swick and Jonathan Goulet have agreed to fight each other at the Ultimate Fighter 8 finale on December 13th. Both men have won their last two fights in the UFC.

— Round 5's new Sean Sherk collectible figure doesn't really look like Sean Sherk. But the Wandy and Spider figures are definitely worthy of being displayed in your cubicle.