no contest

(You guys know this thing doesn't even count, right?)

When the Nevada State Athletic Commission ruled yesterday to change Karo Parisyan’s decision win over Dong Hyun Kim at UFC 94 into a “no decision” on account of the various painkillers running through Parisyan’s veins at the time of the fight, I wondered the same thing I always wonder: how does this affect me?

As you may recall, I put a bet down on Kim when I was going crazy in Vegas the day before UFC 94.  I lost and was forced to dance for nickels under a bridge just to get enough money to make it home.  But with the bout result changed, did the MGM Grand now owe me my money back?  Were they also on the hook for the price of the tetanus shot I had to get when I got home (those nickels aren’t clean, no matter what anyone tells you)?  

I didn’t know, so I called the MGM Grand.  Turns out, they didn’t really know either.  After a lengthy back and forth, they gave up and told me to call the sportsbook at the Mirage, whose policies the MGM Grand follows on this sort of thing.  So I did.  I called the Mirage and got transferred around a bunch.  I got told several different times that the sportsbook didn’t take calls, but my question confused enough people, and eventually they put me through to the sportsbook, where my hopes were immediately shot down.

(The Gracie/Tadeu fiasco.)

— Renzo Gracie vs. Eugenio Tadeu ruled a No Contest (Fans Rioted)

— Frank Trigg def. Dennis Hallman via TKO (Abandonment)

— Marcelo Goncalves def. Cristian Quezada via Submission (No Apparent Reason) [See also: Firmino/Santana, Neto/Goodridge]

(James Irvin vs. Bobby Southworth)

— James Irvin vs. Bobby Southworth ruled a No Contest (Both fighters fell from the cage)

— Matt Makowski def. Nick Serra via DQ (Wouldn’t Get Up From Butt Scoot) [Ed. note: And I was there! See also: Daniel Moraes]
 

('This is my hammer. I call her Sheila. You do not want to make Sheila angry.')

Knees to the groin aside, Alistair Overeem isn't buying Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic's claims that he could not continue during last night's Dream.6 bout. Cro Cop's anguish looked pretty genuine, and Overeem's knees seemed intent on finding his testicles, but Fighters Only reports that the Dutchman thinks dude was faking it in order to get out of a beating:

"Tonight I was kicking his ass, I destroyed him. ...The first knee was in the crotch but the second was not. CroCop just didn't want to fight anymore."

“I think he underestimated me, but if he wants to fight again, I'll fight him again. I'd like to finish him."

Overeem was dominating the fight. That much seems apparent, though Cro Cop would have us believe that he was just biding his time and waiting for the right moment to stop getting his ass kicked.

But whatever you think of Cro Cop and his ethical code, that knee strike was clearly in the groin neighborhood. A cursory examination of the video evidence proves that much. Even if Overeem feels that he didn't get him right on the buttons, as it were, he's got to concede that Cro Cop might have been just a little extra sensitive in the testicular region at that point in the fight, seeing as how he'd already been nailed there. Nobody likes to see a fight end like that, especially the guy who leaves the ring with one of his testicles inside his body, but let's give him the benefit of the doubt on this one.