XARM

(Doesn't Art Davie just ooze sincerity?)

A while back we all had a good laugh over the idiotic spectacle that is XARM, the brainchild of UFC co-creator Art Davie that meshes arm-wrestling with MMA punching people and is somehow even dumber than it sounds.  We were content to let it go, then we saw this, a blog post by Davie declaring that MMA has “lost its way” and the UFC has “de-evolved.”

Normally we’d ignore this kind of cry for attention, but it’s just too good and we love mocking things waaaay too much.  For example:

I was the guy who started this sport [ed. note: bullshit] and let me say, for the record, that I love MMA. But, I'm not the only one or the first one to say that the MMA seems to have has lost its way. MMA, and specifically the UFC, have stopped delivering the kind of extreme fighting sport that fans have come to expect. Some are saying now that the UFC has de-evolved. First it was a spectacle, then it gained acceptance as a sport and now it's back to being a spectacle.

Do you know what today is? Yes, it's Wednesday, November 19. But in the history books it will be remembered as the premiere of the XARM Heavyweight Championship. Finally!!!

For those of you who missed our earlier mention of XARM, where we appropriately grouped it with dudes breaking things and a monkey doing pushups, XARM is the brain child of UFC co-creator Art Davie. It's also pronounced "ex-arm," though I admit I've been calling it "zarm" when mocking it to my friends and family. But now they've put together their own heavyweight tournament, premiering today on Ripe TV, complete with several XARM "Boot Camp" episodes. So basically, I'm in no danger of running out of material for mockery.

The idea of XARM is that it combines arm wrestling (which, let's face it, peaked in popularity with "Over the Top") and a really lame, stationary version of MMA. The two men are tied together, sometimes with duct tape, then they punch each other wearing MMA gloves. If that sounds like the stupidest thing you've ever heard, then congratulations, your brain works properly.

In the press release announcing the heavyweight championship, Art Davie calls it "the most intense 3 minutes in sports." Really makes you glad this guy isn't still running the UFC, doesn't it?

(Props: Fightlinker)

It's time for a look at the weird, wild, wacky side of martial arts. First is the above clip of a XARM (Xtreme Arm Wrestling) match, where two competitors have their hands taped together, then proceed to beat each other senseless. I think the goal is still to pin your opponent's arm on the table, but as you'll see, that's not quite how it plays out. The saddest part is that one of the dudes behind this spectacle is Art Davie, one of the co-creators of the UFC. Christ, even Bob Meyrowitz laughs at this guy. I feel bad for those XARM'ers wrists. And their mothers, of course.

(Props: MMA Junkie)

Meet Craig and Paul Pumphrey, stars of G4's upcoming series Human Wrecking Balls. Both are members of the International Karate and Kickboxing Hall of Fame, and both enjoy breaking shit with their bare hands. My favorite part of this promo clip is 0:36-0:39, where the dude just straight-up runs through a wall. I thought that only happened in Kool-Aid commercials. Oh yeah!