List

(This is the point where we become so proud of ourselves as to be intolerable.)

The good (and obviously brilliant) people over at AskMen.com have compiled a list of the top ten hype-worthy websites that will blow up in 2009.  And wouldn’t you know it, Cage Potato clocked in at number six.  It’s about time we made a top ten list that wasn’t created by our parents as a ruse to cheer us up when we’re sick.

And #6 is not bad, though it does contradict the “We’re #1!” t-shirts we had made at the mall.  The good news is that we came in ahead of sites like Fanhouse.com (#10, so take that, MDS), and Consumerist.com (#8), while getting edged out by noteworthy competitors like TheDailyBeast.com (#5) and TheOnion.com (#2).  We can live with that result…for now. 

10. ROB EMERSON

Offenses: Was arrested in 2000 for his membership in the Lords of South County, a gang of Orange County rich kids who liked to assault innocent people for fun. Arrested again in 2006 after a dustup at a bar, and pled guilty to two counts of battery. His middling fight record doesn't justify his UFC contract.
Notable quote: "I got bent over and took it up the ass on a lot of bullshit judges' decisions. But fuck ‘em, their faces were fucked up worse than mine. That’s all I care about!"

9. BILL GOLDBERG

Offenses: His inexcusably awful work for EliteXC has brought MMA commentary to new, previously unimagined depths. Was reportedly abusive and obnoxious on the set of The Longest Yard.
Notable quote: "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't give a damn about traditional mixed martial arts."

8. BOB MEYROWITZ

Offenses: Ran the UFC into the mud marketing it as the most outrageous bloodsport on Earth. Currently working to eliminate ground-fighting with the YAMMA pit. Has a history of losing investors' money (see eyada.com).
Notable quote: "On the streets it's against the law — in the pit it is the law." (YAMMA tagline)

7. GILBERT YVEL

Offenses: One of the dirtiest fighters in MMA history. DQ'd once for eye gouging, once for biting, and once for knocking out a referee; laughed when he was arrested after the incident.
Notable quote: "The referee...not a good thing, but memorable."

11. Rashad Evans vs. Sean Salmon (UFC Fight Night 8, 1/25/2007)

10. Chris "Red Bull" Willems vs. Akoni Nakila (ROTR: Beatdown IV, 7/14/07)

9. Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic vs. Aleksander Emelianenko (PRIDE: Final Conflict 2004, 8/15/2004)

The eight greatest MMA fighters who have never won a championship or major tournament...

8. Gilbert Yvel (32-12-1)

There are two reasons "The Hurricane" hasn't risen to the lofty heights of champion: his lackluster ground game and his ridiculous temper. Yvel has undeniable knockout power, particularly in his kicks and flying knees, and 28 of his 32 wins have come via KO/TKO. On the other hand, a quarter of his 12 losses came from well-deserved DQ's. If he could have gotten out of his own way, this guy could have been on top of the world.

7. Yushin Okami (22-4)

Okami had a good shot to win Rumble on the Rock's 175-pound tourney in 2006. As you'll recall, he was staggered by an illegal kick from Anderson Silva in the first round, picking up a DQ win that allowed him to continue on to fight Jake Shields. But Shields beat Thunder in a decision (and ended up winning the whole thing), and Okami's title hope disappeared. Now in the UFC, Okami is a top contender for the middleweight title -- but good luck getting past the division's undisputed ruler.

6. Jeremy "Gumby" Horn (79-17-5)

Although he has logged an impressive record in over 100 pro fights -- beating guys like Chuck Liddell, Forrest Griffin, Josh Burkman, Dean Lister, "The Hurricane," David Loiseau, and Vernon White -- "Gumby" has never won the big one. He had two chances to pick up a title (UFC 17 vs. Frank Shamrock for the middleweight crown and UFC 54 in a rematch with Liddell for the light heavy belt), but was stopped both times.

Our 16 favorite noms de guerre, and our favorite photos found through Google-image-searching those words/phrases. High concept, we know, but stay with us and click on the links.

16. Jeremy "Gumby" Horn

15. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua

14. Bret "The Angry Hick" Bergmark

13. Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos

12. Rameau Thierry "The African Assassin" Sokoudjou

11. Don "The Predator" Frye