idiots

It seems that wherever local news cameras go they manage to zero in on the idiots in the crowd almost effortlessly. It's no different in this footage from Sacramento's Channel 10, which Steve Cofield thankfully dug up. Bashing an entire city based on the people who find their way on to the evening news is not only easy and kind of unfair, it also turns out to be lots of fun.

For those of us who have always wondered about what Stockton is really like after hearing the Diaz brothers wax poetic about it for years, it is indeed an insight. The ladies who show up around the 0:47 mark to insist that "we aren't an advocate of bloodshed, although we don't hate on it if it happens" are a couple of stalwart examples of the kind of girls you might meet at an MMA event (if you're lucky).

Not content to let the plebes make the point for him, Cofield also refers to a recent study that claimed Stockton had the highest illiteracy rates of any American city with a population over 250,000. Ouch. But I guess if you want a town that breeds its share of tough fighters, you don't necessarily go looking for the city that issues the most library cards.

(Props: MMA Scraps)

We could probably have a long debate about what the high point of this video from Fox News is. Is it the appearance of Stone Cold Steve Austin? The rare spoken English from Fedor Emelianenko? Instead, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's the "Deal or No Deal" girls giggling at the phrase 'ground-and-pound', and here's why:

From where I was sitting in one of the arena's many press sections, I was within earshot of a couple obnoxious drunk guys wearing Affliction t-shirts (weird, I know). Every time a scantily-clad woman walked by they took it upon themselves to shout "titties!" Because this was an MMA event in southern California -- which means even more fake boobs and halter tops than normal -- they got plenty of opportunities.

The reactions from the women fell into one of three categories: 1) they ignored it, 2) they smiled, waved, or, in one case, even blew the idiots a kiss ala the UFC Octagon girls, or 3) became visibly upset.

The third reaction came from one of the "Deal or No Deal" girls, who walked by them flaunting her stuff until the inevitable "titties!" remark. She didn't care for it. She expressed this by glaring at them and making an indignant face that seemed to suggest, 'I don't have to take this, I'm on "Deal or No Deal" for Christ's sake!' It's cultural intersections like this that make live MMA events worth all the trouble.

(Salad-tossing dickface.)

...may we humbly suggest Rob Emerson? As mentioned earlier, the Ultimate Fighter 5 alum faces fellow lightweight Keita Nakamura in the undercard of the event that definitely does not feature Cheick Kongo and Heath Herring. What you may not know is that before he went on TUF — and was submitted by Nate Diaz, lost a decision to Corey Hill in a substitution match, and then was half of a bizarre double-KO no-contest with Gray Maynard — Emerson was a member of the Lords of South County, a roving gang of Orange County rich kids who enjoyed rolling up on strangers and beating the shit out of them. (Imagine the crew from Jackass, but replace "sophomoric sense of humor" with "infuriating sense of entitlement.")

Check out the following news report, which depicts the June 2000 incident that led to Emerson's first arrest; he was arrested again this year for unknown (though probably equally assholish) reasons. As reporter Chris Blatchford puts it, the crime was unusual because the gang members "are not from an inner city ghetto or a crime-ridden varrio [!], they're young people from what their parents might call........good homes." Of course, the Lords all turn out to be a bunch of pussies who keep diaries and cry at Titanic (seriously). Anyway, when Emerson isn't surrounded by two dozen of his boyz, he's actually not that good of a fighter, so Nakamura should have no problem kicking the shit out of him on February 2, thus rebalancing the flow of karma. Fucking prick.

(Good lookin' out: MMAJunkie)

Wait a minute, we just realized — Emerson is basically who the bad guy in this movie is based on. So it is kinda realistic!