Ultimate Fight Night

Alex Trujillo -- Clay Guida's coach and owner of the Midwest Training Center -- does the best Mike Goldberg impersonation I've ever heard. He has it all just right. The hyperbolic enthusiasm, the local news weatherman voice inflection, the whole package.

"Coming up next!" Trujillo shouts in his Goldberg voice, and it's enough to get the whole dressing room cracking up. You can see how it helps to have guy like Trujillo around when you're trying to stay relaxed before a fight. Soon the talk turns to what it would be like if Goldberg did commentary for porn movies. The consensus opinion? It would be awesome.

This is just part of what I was treated to last night as I shadowed Guida before and after his fight for this Si.com article. It was, to say the least, a unique experience. There are the guys who say that they just love to fight, and then there are the guys for whom it is obviously true. Clay Guida is the latter. Throughout his preparation there was never a hint of anxiety. Little leaguers have more nerves stepping up to bat.

As Guida sat in his dressing room having his hands taped referee Yves Lavigne came by to go over some basics. Just to clarify, Lavigne took out a sheet of paper that he had folded into thirds and held it up against the back of his own head to show Guida where not to strike. Through it all Guida could barely keep from smiling.

(No, they aren't posing. That's just how they kick it.)

I'm not sure if I love the Diaz brothers in spite of their behavior, or because of it. I'm leaning toward the latter, if only because the more I see of them, the more I become convinced that they may be the most genuine people in all of MMA. All the yelling and swearing and flippin' the bird? The posturing that reminds you of a fourteen-year-old kid who's just grown his first facial hairs and is feeling like a man with the constant need to prove it? That's them. That's just how they are. Ultimate Fight Night was just one more example.

Not only is Nate Diaz a near mirror-image of his brother in the cage, he also mimicks his interview style. At least, that's what people tell me. I couldn't make out most of what he said after his win over Josh Neer last night. I caught the word 'motherfucker.' I believe the phrase 'weak-ass punk' was peppered in there, as well as the obligatory mention of the 209. Other than that, it was tough to decipher. I had hoped we'd get more in the post-fight press conference, but the Diaz brothers had other ideas.

Nate Diaz had barely taken his seat for the impromptu session with the press when Nick drew the attention to himself by shouting profanities at, well, someone. It was hard to tell who he was yelling at or why. The UFC PR staff seemed at their wits end, and they appealed to Nate to help them restore order.

Nate responded by saying, "I'm out," and leaving the press conference altogether. Nick was still yelling as the two of them walked off down the hallway.

Say what you will about them, but they always come to fight and they know how to make an exit.

(The head kick. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly)

You didn't see it on Spike TV last night, but the undercard bouts for Ultimate Fight Night 15 were worth showing up for all by themselves. Yours truly was Octagon-side for the whole thing, and when I wasn't hanging out in Clay Guida's dressing room (more on that later), I was busy being impressed by some UFC newcomers.

Dan Miller def. Rob Kimmons via submission (rear naked choke) at 1:27 of round one

This one was quick, with only sporadic fits of action. Miller jumped to Kimmons' back almost immediately. Kimmons tried to defend and dump him off, but Miller wasn't having it. After about a minute of absolutely no movement, Miller locked in the choke and Kimmons fell backwards ala Frank Trigg against Matt Hughes, then tapped meekly while the ref took his time about stopping it.

Mike Massenzio def. Drew McFedries via submission (kimura) 1:26 of round one

New Jersey's Mike Massenzio was particularly impressive in his first-round submission win over Drew McFedries. He put his wrestling skills to good use right away, shooting in on McFedries and getting side control in the ensuing scramble. After McFedries recovered his guard and attempted a triangle choke, which Massenzio shrugged off, it was countdown to kimura time. Massenzio got to north-south and extended McFedries' arm, forcing him to tap.

Alessio Sakara def. Joe Vedepo via KO (kick) at 1:27 of round one

The most brutal finish of the night also came in the prelims, as Alessio Sakara put his shin directly on Joe Vedepo's chin early in the first. Vedepo was looking for the takedown from the start, but Sakara's defense looked much improved. When Vedepo couldn't get him down he consented to stand and trade. That's about when the high kick landed with a vicious crack that elicited 'ooohs' from the crowd. Vedepo stiffened up and keeled over backwards. Sakara moved in to finish, but it was -- to put it mildly -- unnecessary.

(Photo courtesy of Combat Lifestyle.)

The BF half of the Cage Potato duo is in Omaha for tonight's Ultimate Fight Night event. If you're headed to the Civic Auditorium later this afternoon for the event, keep an eye out for the handsome devil with the laptop. I'll be sitting behind that guy, scribbling my thoughts on a wax tablet. What? I just think all this new technology is a fad. It'll blow over.

But if you can't get to the fights tonight but want to find a way to make yourself sweat over the results anyway, allow me to suggest gambling. BestFightOdds.com has compiled all the lines for tonight's event, and here's what it's looking like at the moment:

Nathan Diaz (-200) vs. Josh Neer (+200)
Clay Guida (-121) vs. Mac Danzig (+125)
Houston Alexander (-212) vs. Eric Schafer (+215)
Ed Herman (-220) vs. Alan Belcher (+215)
Joe Lauzon (-675) vs. Kyle Bradley (+500)
Drew McFedries (-200) vs. Mike Massenzio (+210)
Wilson Gouveia (-350) vs. Ryan Jensen (+326)
Alessio Sakara (-115) vs. Joe Vedepo (+128)
Jason Brilz (-209) vs. Brad Morris (+215)
Dan Miller (-110) vs. Rob Kimmons (+105)

Some thoughts...

(Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

Ah, beautiful Omaha, Nebraska. Where any mention of the Cornhuskers is enough to work a crowd into a frenzy. I just returned from the Ultimate Fight Night 15 weigh-in, which was fairly uneventful except for the odd fact that every single fighter weighed in precisely on the mark. Every middleweight hit 185 on the button. Every lightweight, 155 exactly. You get the picture. It was eerie. Makes you wonder if the athletic commission here isn't just phoning it in. One guy who seemed a bit nervous about the whole thing was Clay Guida, who stepped on the scale as if he were trying to sneak up on it. Maybe his brother's troubles have him worried.

But the most interesting thing to happen at the weigh-in had nothing to do with the fighters on Wednesday night's card. Before things got underway, Matt Hughes answered questions from the fans who arrived early. He talked at length about how good Robbie Lawler is, how he wouldn't advise Lawler to fight Anderson Silva, but would like to see him face Georges St. Pierre, whose stand-up game is not as good as Lawler's, according to Hughes.

"I know I want to see that fight," he said. "I wouldn't even want to corner Robbie. I'd just want to sit on the side and watch."

But then, when the Q&A session was over, Hughes asked for a couple extra minutes on the mic. He said that he often gets asked about his most memorable story in the fight game, and then proceeded to share, unprompted, a tale from his "pre-Christian" days.

It seems Hughes was down in New Orleans and on Bourbon Street with Pat Miletich and some of the boys after a fight. He and Miletich got into a drinking contest, chugging beers out on the street with both fists. They had just finished slamming a couple and were walking down the street when Miletich stopped and bent over to puke in the street. Then he walked a couple steps, puked some more, then kept going, stopped, and puked some more. At some point, Miletich looked over at Hughes and pointed to the gaping space where his false teeth should be. Pat Miletich, MMA great, had just realized that he puked out his false teeth.

So what did he do? He walked back and sifted through each pile of vomit until he found them. And when he found them? He poured beer on them, put them back in his mouth, and kept going.

If you still care about the official weigh-in results after that, they're after the jump: