("Objection, your honor! There’s no way Mr. Jackson can do justice to the character of B.A. Baracus!")
By CagePotato contributor Jim Genia
Last week, legendary promoter/murderer Don King filed a legal injunction against the Shine Fights organization to put the kibosh on their “Worlds Collide: Mayorga vs. Thomas” main event, a bout that would’ve seen pugilist Ricardo Mayorga — whom King manages in the realm of boxing — take on UFC vet Din Thomas in the pro boxer’s MMA debut. Though the event’s subsequent collapse can’t completely be blamed on King, his legal cock-blocking of the headlining attraction certainly didn’t help.
Of course, this isn’t the first time a handful of legal documents and a judge have affected the MMA world, and though the history of the sport is a relatively short one, it’s a history rife with broken contracts, copyright infringements and countless other court-based fisticuffs. Who’s filed a lawsuit against whom? How many fighters know too well the insides of a courtroom? What happens when you sell the UFC a lemon? The answers to these questions and more can be found when examining the top ten lawsuits in MMA history.
10) Zuffa v. The Ghost of Pride: There’s an old Greek saying that goes, “Buying from the Yakuza is like passing out at Mike Whitehead‘s house — one way or another you’re going to get screwed.” Zuffa learned this the hard way when they purchased the Pride Fighting Championship from Dream Stage Entertainment, for they soon discovered that the whole thing had been held together by organized crime money and Scotch Tape (and not even real Scotch Tape, but that cheap knockoff stuff you buy at the dollar store). Consequently, in February 2008, Zuffa filed suit against DSE alleging that they were sold a clunker. DSE in turn countersued, complaining that Zuffa went back on its promise to keep Pride alive.
9) Ken Shamrock’s Career v. Zuffa: When the Devil wants someone’s soul and needs a favorable contract drawn up, he consults with the same law firm that Zuffa uses. This doesn’t bode well for those who compete in the Octagon and end up locking horns with their employers. In fact, as Ken Shamrock found out when he sued Zuffa claiming they owed him another fight, this usually means you’re screwed. Shamrock’s argument was that the contract he’d had with them — which would’ve bound him to another bout should he have miraculously defeated Tito Ortiz in their third meeting back in 2006 or had he not retired — went both ways. The judge did not agree, rendering “The World’s Most Dangerous Man” into “The World’s Most Broke Man” when he was ordered to pay Zuffa’s resulting legal fees. Petey, my mortgage payments!
Suckers v. the Fertittas: Remember when you’d go to a restaurant or to some party and you’d always see the UFC and Xyience together, sometimes holding hands and giggling and acting affectionate, and even though they said they were “just friends” you knew something was up when they’d disappear for a while and return with their clothes disheveled? Do you remember that? Well, those people who bought shares of Xyience (a.k.a., suckers) remembered that, and when the supplement company went bankrupt, they filed suit against the Fertittas alleging that the owners of the UFC had a hand in all the shadiness that went down.
7) Juanito Ibarra v. Anyone Who’s Ever Talked Smack About Him: In the old days, if you didn’t like what someone wrote about you then you could legally slay them in a duel. This was called “Ye Olde Libel Killing,” and though it put a definite cramp on free speech, it made for some fun times whenever the Sunday paper came out. But how we handle libel claims has changed. Case in point: trainer Juanito Ibarra, who didn’t like what Tito Ortiz and most of the blogosphere were saying about him and decided to sue them all. Amazingly, this tactic got Ibarra nowhere, and such anonymous Internet personalities as “SuperArmbarMan12” and “DontKnowCrapAboutFiting2007” were allowed to continue on their merry way unmolested.
6) Zuffa v. Pirates: The Somali pirates have been terrorizing the shipping lanes off the coast of Africa for some time now, hijacking oil tankers and cargo ships with AK-47s and RPG launchers and ransoming the booty for millions of dollars. But this scourge pales in comparison to those unauthorized persons who stream live UFC events over the Internet, and in March of this year Zuffa began hunting down these dastardly Web brigands, firing off lawsuits like salvos of cannon fire. The result? There are still Somali pirates out there, and I still have not paid to watch a UFC pay-per-view since 2002.
5) Mikey Burnett’s Skull v. The Ultimate Fighter: A funny thing happened to Lion’s Den fighter Mikey Burnett when he was on the fourth season of “The Ultimate Fighter”. It seems that when he put on a helmet and ran head first into a wall, he was somehow injured. Crazy, huh? Burnett seemed to think so, and he brought a lawsuit against the production company behind TUF alleging —among other things — that the work environment they thrust him into wasn’t safe. This is akin to a Japanese kamikaze pilot crashing into an aircraft carrier and suing the US Navy for making their ships too hard, with the only difference being that we got a good laugh out of Burnett yelling “Bonzai!”
4) BJ Penn v. Zuffa: Hawaiian superstar BJ Penn was sick of the UFC paying him in pineapples, so after choking out welterweight champ Matt Hughes at UFC 46, he demanded better compensation or he was hitting the road. Zuffa suggested he hit the road. But Penn, with lawsuit and UFC belt in hand, felt that possession was nine/tenths of the law and that there could be no welterweight championship bout unless he was one half of it. The judge disagreed on certain aspects of Penn’s argument. However, when it became clear that the case was going to drag on into the later rounds and cardio was going to be a factor, Penn opted to settle. He was tired, you know.
3) Don King v. Shine Fights: Here’s an idea: when you want to sign a fighter to a main event, make sure he’s not under contract with anyone else. Unfortunately, this stroke of genius never occurred to Shine Fights, who thought that because Mayorga would be fighting an MMA bout and not a boxing match, they could get away with not reading the fine print on the stack of documents Don King had made the pro boxer sign. This is like flagrantly attempting to take another man’s wife out to McDonalds and then to a room at the Holiday Inn. Sure, his routine may involve taking her to Burger King and the Motel 6 and what you’re offering may be slightly more romantic, but the dude is still well within his rights to kick in the door and blast you with a shotgun. Shine Fights is lucky King opted to use an injunction in lieu of a gat.
2) Pregnant Woman v. Quinton “Vehicular Rampage” Jackson: Quinton Jackson, a truck with his face and name plastered all over it, a police chase and the nickname “Rampage.” If this isn’t a recipe for the best episode of “Cops” ever, I don’t know what is. Unfortunately, the big bummer in this situation was that a pregnant woman sitting in a car that Jackson ran into claimed to have miscarried as a result of the former UFC light-heavyweight champ’s antics. She did, however, later drop her lawsuit against him.
1) Zuffa v. The Natural: In 2008, Randy Couture bailed on the UFC while he was champ. This was different than the time he left the company to fight (and lose) in Japan back in 1998, or the time he retired because he couldn’t defeat Chuck Liddell, for in this instance he held a press conference to complain about the size of his paychecks. Zuffa fired back with a press conference of their own, a lawsuit, a fish wrapped in newspaper and a bloody horse’s head in his bed. You see, even if you’re the beloved elder statesman of mixed martial arts, you absolutely cannot get away with speaking ill of Zuffa (even if it’s the truth). The resulting lawsuit — which alleged that Couture injured the company by making false statements and that he was in breach of contact if he were to hook up with another fight club — pretty much ensured that he was a giant, 225-pound radioactive hot potato to other promotions. Couture eventually grew tired of the courtroom battle and returned to the cage where he belonged.
Jim Genia can be contacted at mma_journalist@yahoo.com, and he loves you like a brother.
Loading ...
Comments
Thu, 05/20/10 - 12:22
"Murderer" is such a relative term... Some would say stomping a guy to death is murder, but that guy owed Don King money, nawmean? As for shooting a guy in the back? He was... uhhh... he was... robbing King! Yeah, that's..what...happened.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 12:24
.......really?
Thu, 05/20/10 - 12:36
Finally the CP Nation gets a little lawsuit talk. i have been waiting for this day for a-BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Thu, 05/20/10 - 12:45
I find it interesting that 6 of the 10 listed here involved Zuffa or the Fertittas.. Just goes to show, you don't fuck with Mafiosos with more money than sense.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 12:48
Almost... See sarcasm, definiton of
Thu, 05/20/10 - 12:50
Had they only used duct tape instead of scotch tape, Pride would be alive and well...
Thu, 05/20/10 - 12:50
@El Guapo See not talking to you, I was
Thu, 05/20/10 - 12:57
I've got an idea for tomorrow......the top ten top ten lists
Thu, 05/20/10 - 01:04
"Hawaiian superstar BJ Penn was sick of the UFC paying him in pineapples" had me rolling. Good job Jim!
Thu, 05/20/10 - 01:13
Those stereotypes, they are knee-slappers.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 01:15
anyone hear about DMX getting sued by some fly by night company for backing out of a Celebrity MMA match? I did, and it still makes me chuckle. The article, if I remember right, said something to the effect that DMX withdrew for reasons that his safety would be at risk. In a fight. Damn, that guy is skreet.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 01:24
Well...my first top ten's wouldn't have anything to do with mma. It would be like top ten hottest hoes with huge natural breasts. I'm sure the demographic for that type of thing would be the same. Ya know...excluding all you homos.......just sayin.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 01:25
sarcasm (sar-kaz-uhm) noun A sharp or witty deri.. Ohhh, you weren't talking to me? Well then, this is a tad.. RUN!!!
Thu, 05/20/10 - 01:50
justscrappin is on the right track. next should be top 10 booties worth skeetin on.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 02:16
poor Whitehead, sex offenders are such an easy target, but then so are very drunk chicks laying in your bed
Thu, 05/20/10 - 02:16
poor Whitehead, sex offenders are such an easy target, but then again so are very drunk chicks laying in your bed
Thu, 05/20/10 - 02:34
Yes booties....much better then lawsuits.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 03:10
bootie vote!
Thu, 05/20/10 - 03:42
This one's better than 'Pitch a Winner: How to Land an MMA Sponsorship (Without Embarrassing Yourself)' AKA 'How to not be a total retard.' Just my opinion . . . I know lots of people LOVED it. It may have even changed some lives from completely incompetent retart to 'I know better now but I'm still going to screw everything up' incompetent retart. God, here I go again. I'll just go back to my cave now.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 03:46
booties vs boobies - which one takes it?
Thu, 05/20/10 - 04:07
Booties and Boobies, do two top tens
Thu, 05/20/10 - 04:23
They're both definitely worth their own top tens. Weekly.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 04:29
at least weekly
Thu, 05/20/10 - 05:10
I'm not going to lie guys...I'm a greedy bastard...I like my chicks with a ton of both.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 05:23
you and me both, bro. Not literally a ton, but I get what youre sayin
Thu, 05/20/10 - 05:31
Yup...I mean...sometimes if a girl is petite she shouldn't have tons..but she has to have curves for sure. When esquire said Christina Hendricks was the sexiest woman alive...I finally agreed with a magazine that usually picks scrawny waifs as the most attractive. For example....Esther Baxter...I would toss satan's salad and smooch his fiery gooch for a night of passion with her. I would knock her up and camp out under her plentiful balcony. Keep her barefoot and pregnant...ol school bitches.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 05:44
ahh..... y'all are a bunch of renaissance men for sure! that's why I like it around here.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 05:57
You have no idea wifey. I cook, clean, take care of children..I can sing..dance...I train grappling and striking. I love music, science, the arts...literature. I'm the most easy going person I know...always trying to make people laugh and joking around..but I like to think I can speak intelligently about many subjects. I talk about women pretty superficially sometimes...but I'm loyal and caring...and would rather my girl have 5 lbs. too many then be underweight. I just happen to love women...all types of women..tall, short...all different ethnicities. Variety is the spice of life....You know?
Thu, 05/20/10 - 06:03
@justscrappin: no need to justify yourself! I'm a lil drunk and feeling affectionate and shit.....btw, you are definitely better than 99% of the guidos I've known in my life (that's why I had to run off and marry a mutt from the midwest). Most are momma's boys to the extreme. In all seriousness, I love men who don't think that women need to be skinny little prepubescent skeletons.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 06:06
I think you got us pegged wifey, I like to think I do my share but my darling would suggest otherwise I'm sure. As long as I do what I'm told I'm pretty much guaranteed UFC PPV's and allowed to drink as much as I like while I watch em so I just fly under the radar and keep my wifey smiling
Thu, 05/20/10 - 06:47
My husband's motto is "If wifey ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" Sounds like you all are cut from the same cloth. Luckily, we have similar interests (mma) so it's easy to compromise. Side note: do any of y'all's wives read/comment here? If so, what do they think of this mayhem? Just curious, for purely selfish reasons.
Thu, 05/20/10 - 06:54
Yup nothin too complicated about us menfolk, and I agree with your husband, "if the girls are happy everyones happy" and seein as I have Wifey and three daughters its in my best Interests to keep em happy
Thu, 05/20/10 - 09:15
ok so the lawsuits were boring, lets talk about wifey. hey wifey in what category would you put me in? I thought I and all of us were cavemen?
Thu, 05/20/10 - 09:33
I thought we were all renaissance men . I wouldn't suggest we were Sensitive New Age Guys, but we definitely fit the bill for Caring Unselfish Nice Types
Thu, 05/20/10 - 10:54
I got an ex wife...and my current gf both showed interest for the only fact that it has kept me in shape. Other then that...as time goes on...it annoys them that I watch the fights (specially now that there are alot more on) alot...and even though they like to reap the benefits of me training and staying in good shape..they complain about the time I take from them when I'm training. Like would you rather I went out to a club or bar like everyone else? I just can't win...lol.
Fri, 05/21/10 - 12:09
Goddammit Jim, yer a interweb journalist, not a Doctor! I was going to ask you why I've been pissing blood for the past week... and what this nasty rash is from... ...Anyway, good stuff, you made funnies with the law suits and me likey funnies. Funnies for funzies. I'd trade virtual-verbal barbs with you any day, you big sack of rotten protoplasm. @ Wifey- S'okay, I'm typin' tipsy as we speak. It makes my prose run like diarrhea.
Fri, 05/21/10 - 09:31
This article is awesome. Great job, Jim Genia!
Sat, 05/22/10 - 12:50
Oy Oy, booties and boobies top ten weekly! And if tyson Griffin and Darril Schoonover don't make the respective lists, I will riot. That said, I like my women rail (Effing RAIL!!) thin with buge hoobs. We're talking drug using Olsen twins + D cups. Pencil test passing D cups. 5lbs over? Do Not Want! Sorry woman, but you gotta make weight. Go hang with Anthony Johnson, I'm sure he can sympathize.
Sun, 10/02/11 - 02:08
Symptoms Of Low Vitamin D... please visit the sites we follow, including this one, as it represents our picks from the web...
Tue, 10/25/11 - 10:59
Beta invites... [..] free beta invites for all of your favorite communities, programs, games etc. [..]...
Sun, 10/30/11 - 09:03
It happens with out my knowledge. This leads me to lose my bookmarks, settings and is such a nuisance. How do I stop FireFox from losing my settings and bookmarks? Thank you..... How do I get Firefox not to block the installation of farmville toolbar, Allow did not work?...
Fri, 11/04/11 - 08:21
2011... Normally I do not read post on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very forced me to try and do so! Your writing style has been surprised me. Thanks, quite nice article....
Mon, 11/07/11 - 05:45
Facebook Of Sex... Blogs ou should be reading......
Fri, 11/25/11 - 07:48
free ipad apps iphone download android games... [...]When I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new feedback are added- checkbox and now every time a remark is added I get four emails with the identical comment. Is there any manner you possibly can take away me from that service? Thank...
Fri, 12/16/11 - 07:55
Trackback for a Great Article…... [... ]Left you a trackback for your readers to get more info[... ]……...
Mon, 12/19/11 - 08:55
Great website…... [...]here are some hyper-links to sites that we link to as we feel they are really worth browsing[...]…...
Wed, 12/28/11 - 12:31
Great website…... [...]here are some hyper-links to sites that we link to as we feel they are really worth browsing[...]…...
Thu, 12/29/11 - 08:31
Links…... [...]Sites of interest we have a link to[...]……...
Sun, 01/01/12 - 12:56
Cool sites…... [...]we came across a cool site that you might enjoy. Take a look if you want[...]……...
Sun, 01/01/12 - 01:09
Cool sites... [...]we came across a cool site that you might enjoy. Take a look if you want[...]…...
Sun, 01/01/12 - 03:34
Kelly... I just saw this really great post today....
Mon, 01/23/12 - 08:54
Websites we think you should visit... [...]although websites we backlink to below are considerably not related to ours, we feel they are actually worth a go through, so have a look[...]…...
Fri, 01/27/12 - 01:52
Related.. Trackback... [...]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[...]...
Sat, 02/11/12 - 05:48
Read was interesting, stay in touch…... [...]please visit the sites we follow, including this one, as it represents our picks from the web[...]…...
Sat, 02/11/12 - 07:06
Visitor recommendations... [...]one of our visitors recently recommended the following website[...]…...
Post a comment:
You must be logged in to post a comment.