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The 15 Derpiest Looking Characters From EA Sports UFC

(Ah, the good ol’ days.)

By Ryan Harkness

EA has finally pulled back the curtain on its much anticipated UFC video game, and while the extra horsepower from next-gen consoles has the sport looking better than ever, it is also ratcheting up the phenomenon known as the Uncanny Valley.

The hypothesis goes that the more realistic a human recreation gets, the more small imperfections begin to stick out in our minds, screaming at us that something is very, very wrong. A useful evolutionary trait if you happen to be trapped in the Antarctic with John Carpenter’s The Thing. Not so useful when trying to play EA Sports UFC without getting the heebie jeebies.

That being said, I don’t want to imply that the game suffers from Polar Express levels of uncanny valley. Most of the modeling looks freaking great. Video game Chuck Liddell looks exactly like real-life Chuck Liddell and not some Iceman furry from the seventh circle of Hell. Conor McGregor is perfectly recreated right down to the King’s Crisps crumbs in his beard. And the actual gameplay videos look pretty damn smooth too.

But capturing the exact essence of over 100 people is tricky work and there are still some fighters with just enough je-ne-saix-quoi to cause many to recoil in horror. Let’s take a look through through some of the best worst examples to find out who ended up the pound-for-pound derpiest character in the game…

Georges St Pierre was so busy being a hotshot action star that the EA people had to scan the wax GSP statue from Madame Tussauds.¬†And then just like in Jurassic Park, they added some Frank Trigg DNA to fill in the gaps and bada bing bada boom! L’essence du Georges!

This is Demian Maia working a kimura. And taking a mighty poop.

Check out Roy Nelson channeling his inner Abraham Lincoln. Four score and seven hamburgers ago…

Jose doesn’t say much since the incident. He doesn’t move much either. He just kinda sits there all still-like, staring out. Out into the endless void. I don’t know what he sees, or if he will ever come back to us. Some would say death is cleaner.

All trane and no cravat shopping makes Rory MacDonald a dull boy. All trane and no cravat shopping makes Rory a dull boy. ALL TRANE AND NO CRAVAT SHOPPING MAKES RORY A DULL BOY!

Alistair Overeem looks like he’s trying out for a live action version of Shrek.

“Smells like piglet savages in here.”

This Brad Pickett comes from an alternate universe where Brad gave up on his fight dream, became a dentist, and now lives a quiet life in Northamptonshire with two parrots and no trilbies.

Hit that “next page” button for Grandpa Nate, Super-Creepy Joe, Sad Rashad and more…

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