10. Deuce & Domino
Deuce Shade and Dice Domino were two greasers who looked as if they lived out back of a drive-in deli theater. It’s like those Kentucky Fried Chicken and Taco Bell fusion restaurants that allow you to have a three-piece extra tasty crispy and two burritos on the side before you shit mercilessly behind a tree before the movie starts.
Anyway, their getups weren’t all that terrible — they just weren’t made for pro wrestling. It’s a shame, because Cliff Compton is a bad dude, and the other guy is freaking Jimmy Snuka’s son.
First of all, Demolition was so badass. If you didn’t like them, you were probably busy grooming your sister’s chia pets in her Boca sweater. That being said, their outfits were highly suggestive dominatrix costumes that the Gimp from Pulp Fiction would appreciate. Those straps along the chest also made Ax, Smash, and Crush’s breasts look way bigger.
8. The Dicks
These sleaze machines were billed as Chad and James Dick, presumably brothers who were….yeah, who knows. These buff strippers weren’t even close to obtaining the same character improvement as someone like Fandango, and if you’re going to have two dudes emulate Chippendale dancers, why aren’t you picking Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley?
7. The Stalker
Barry Windham was a tough son of a bitch (and a former Four Horseman), so keep that in mind. But when WWE failed to capitalize on his return in 1996 — they could have just made him The Widowmaker again — they portrayed him as a freaky camo-wearing lunatic who hung out in large terrains of field. Not only did he look like he was going to be a heel, WWE had some balls to give viewers a first-person perspective behind a shaky camera running through a forest. It’s Jason Voorhees meets the Predator meets Naked and Afraid.
6. Xanta Claus
Basically, a bad Santa who was part of Ted Dibiase’s stable who was bought by The Million Dollar Man to prove that even Santa Claus had a price.
“I can assure you that was not the real Santa Claus…he’s not even from the North Pole.” SHOCKING.