(Sources indicate that Ronda can also shoot fireballs from her eyes and bolts of lightning from her arse. / Photo via Getty)
Just 56 days after her last Octagon appearance, Ronda Rousey will headline UFC 170 this Saturday, and she’s by far the biggest draw on the card. As a result, Rousey and the UFC marketing machine have gone to absurd lengths in order to pump up her fight against Sara McMann. Here are five eyebrow-raising lines that stuck out during the recent media push…
#5: “My MMA striking is the best in the game.” — Rousey
This is exactly why Holly Holm needs to sign with the UFC. Because as ludicrous as that claim seems at first — the best grappler in women’s MMA is also the best *striker*? get out of town! — there really aren’t any female bantamweights in the UFC who can prove Ronda wrong right now.
#4: Rousey is the first female to medal in Judo in the Olympics. — Joe Rogan, Mike Goldberg
Clearly, they meant the first American female to medal in Judo. But how did this slip-up make it into an official UFC promo without anybody catching the error? Maybe the UFC felt that the halfway-accurate talking point would become true if it was repeated enough times?
#3: “I’m willing to die in there.” — Rousey
Ugh. Didn’t we learn our lesson with BJ Penn? Your willingness to die during an internationally-televised sporting event is only impressive to the most sociopathic of meatheads, and somebody would stop the fight if your life was actually in danger. But feel free to tune in Saturday night to UFC 170: RONDA MIGHT SERIOUSLY DIE, W/ SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY THE BRAWLIN’ BARISTA.
#2: “In any given moment, under the right circumstance, I think it is possible,” Rousey said of beating Cain Velasquez when asked if she thought she could. “You cannot tell me that it is physically impossible. It is possible that in any given moment that I could beat him. I simply believe in my possibilities.” — Rousey
“Under the right circumstance,” meaning Velasquez would be asleep and duct-taped to a chair. I kid, Ronda. Your confidence is a blessing. On the other hand, “I simply believe in my possibilities” borders on Jon Jones douchebag territory.
I give up. After two fights, Rousey has made more than Georges St-Pierre in sponsorship money? She’s a bigger star than Chuck Liddell and Tito Ortiz in their primes? She earns more than Brock Lesnar and Anderson Silva ever did when they were UFC champions? Is it true what Hitler said about a lie so colossal that it wouldn’t be questioned, because nobody could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously?
I guess I should stop writing, considering that I just Godwin’d my own post. But seriously, what kind of mark would believe this crap?