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“The Juice Is Worth the Squeeze”: TUF 7.3 Recap

(Should’ve worn a neck-condom.)

With their elimination matches behind them, the 16 middleweight finalists moved into the TUF house on last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter 7. Before the hour was over, teams were picked, a herpes carrier was sent home, and the fighter who looks like a meathead Nicolas Cage was 10 G’s richer.

Quinton Jackson won the opening coin toss, meaning he could pick either the first fighter or the first fight. He insisted on first fighter rights and chose early standout C.B. Dollaway, while Forrest took impressive BJJ black belt Tim Credeur for the next pick. Rampage also chose Matthew Riddle, Paul Bradley, Daniel Cramer, Gerald Harris, Mike Dolce, Jesse May, and Brandon Sene, while Forrest got Amir Sadollah, Jesse Taylor, Matt Brown, Cale Yarbrough, Dante Rivera, Nick Klein and Luke Zachrich.

As Rampage was assessing his team’s injuries from the elimination matches, Paul Bradley’s hive-y, shingle-y neck (shown above) was brought to his attention. Bradley was sent to a dermatologist, who determined that the rash was a herpes strain that could potentially spread to the other fighters. After quarantining him on the treadmill for a day, Dana White calls him into his office with some bad news; because of the risk of transmission, he’d have to leave the house. Bradley doesn’t take it well, and breaks into tears talking about the wrestling coaching job he gave up to be there. But that’s the breaks, and he’s sent packing. Rampage doesn’t want to be around someone with “cooties on his neck.” Replacing Bradley will be Patrick Schultz, the elimination round non-standout who was previously choked out by Luke Zachrich.

Forrest chooses the first matchup: Jesse Taylor vs. Mike Dolce.

Dolce, formerly a municipal tax assessor, is now an avid Bible-reader who trains at Portland’s Team Quest. He lives with his wife and brother who, one would hope, are as devout as he is when he’s not around. Not much backstory is given on Taylor, though he does acknowledge that he looks like the love child of Nic Cage and Big John McCarthy.

The night before the fight, Rampage comes to hang out with his fighters in the house. During their conversation, it’s revealed that Rampage was 17 in the 9th grade (so it’s not an act!) and used to wear his brother’s leopard-print drawers with doo-doo stains, while Matt Riddle lives with his mom without a driver’s license or job. The guys on Team Rampage seem to like their coach and note that Forrest didn’t come around to visit his guys.

So now it’s fight time. Jesse Taylor is dominant in the first round, spending most of the five minutes on Mike Dolce’s back. Taylor tries to finish Dolce with a rear-naked choke four separate times, but Dolce slips out of all of them, which doesn’t bode well for Taylor’s submission abilities. Near the end of the round, Taylor gets on top and lands some hard shots, but the horn sounds before significant damage can be done. The fighters go to the ground almost immediately in round two, with Taylor controlling the action again. Dolce appears to be lost on the bottom, and Taylor goes for the RNC again. The fifth time’s a charm, and he gets it. He celebrates his win by barfing into a bucket, which doesn’t bode well for his conditioning. But he picks up $5,000 Burger King Bucks for the win, and $5,000 more from the UFC for winning by stoppage. We’ve thrown up in buckets for much less.

Cagepotato Comments

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KTFO- April 18, 2008 at 10:22 am
Oh and by the way, how the hell Do you get Herpes on your neck? That must have been some rank ass pussy.
KTFO- April 18, 2008 at 10:21 am
I wouldn't worry about looking like Mir, it's when you get into the Ricco Rodriguez stage that you need to put the cheeseburgers down. I think "Suave" is trying to be the next Butterbean.
JoseMonkey- April 17, 2008 at 2:38 pm
C-Bus Allstar, I agree -- Dolce quit at the end. He was looking for a way out, and the fifth (!) RNC attempt was it.
Canuck- April 16, 2008 at 9:11 pm
hey alen,

before you call someone numb nuts you should make sure you know what you're talking about.
alen- April 16, 2008 at 8:39 pm
a cold sore is different from herpes numb nuts
fusty walrus- April 16, 2008 at 7:10 pm
kicked his ass out for a coldsore

bump- April 16, 2008 at 6:49 pm
After all the pre fight guarantees and shit talking by Dolce, I really enjoyed watching the "dumb guy" beat him. WTG Big John McCarthy Jr.
tim sylvia's pussy- April 16, 2008 at 5:24 pm
yeah pufonthis i was thinking of that too.. he can potentially spread it to the high schoolers he coaches. and what about other people he has fought in the past? there is a good chance he may have passed it on to some of them.
The Truth- April 16, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Just goes to show, the more you read the Bible in the gym, the more you get your ass kicked, ain't that right Mr. Hughes?

"Dear Jesus, I pray for you to infuse me with your spirit of love, tolerance, wisdom and acceptance, so I can beat the shit out of some other guy for money, in your name, Amen."
Canuck- April 16, 2008 at 4:26 pm
If its shingles, they are only contagious when visable (much like a cold-sore which is also a form of herpes)
pufonthis- April 16, 2008 at 4:08 pm
So here's my concern. Paul Bradley is a wrestling coach.. did he say high school coach? Anyway, if he's a coach he's probably rolling around on the mats with the kids. So potentially he's given herpes to all the kids he's coached and they will be stuck with it the rest of their lives? Great guy.
C-Bus Allstar- April 16, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Contrary to CP, I thought Taylor's conditioning (although maybe not as good as it could have been) was above par.. he was keeping a pretty quick pace on Dolce.. Late in the first round I saw Dolce gassing and Taylor was right there on his back..

Did anyone else see Dolce give up the RNC? I think at the end he just gave up.. He actually lifted his chin instead of dropping it when Taylor attempted the 5th (and ultimately final) choke.
Blackleg- April 16, 2008 at 3:30 pm
CW: Fuck that. I'd want my $5K in piping hot QUAD-Stackers!

Aryan/Lil: Most of the people walking the earth have some form of the herpes bug. I don't think it showed up 'til after the entrance fight. At least that's how they were making it sound - stress-induced. But yeah, sorry you quit your job but take your funk back home.

Noah: From what DW said while they were looking at the headshot card Rampage only had 2 or 3 that weren't injured to pick from.
knightrida- April 16, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Boring episode. Boring fight.
Noah- April 16, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Unless Riggs was hurt and Rampage couldn't choose him, how did Riggs not come back? He certainly wasn't technical whatsoever, but he had heart that you can't teach. I would've like to see him come back.
Lil'Doomsday- April 16, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I can't even count how many times Dolce gave up his back during this fight. I was impressed that he lasted as long as he did, but figured it was only a matter of time. the fuck do you get herpes on your neck? WTF. GTFO with that shit.
Aryan- April 16, 2008 at 1:47 pm
they should test fighters for everything transmittable before they're accepted.
cw- April 16, 2008 at 1:34 pm
So is the $5K from Burger King cash, or does he get it in gift certificates? Hopefully it's the former, lest Jesse end up looking like Frank Mir.