(Does the carpet match the…never mind.)

Ex-UFC heavyweight champ and PRIDE personality Kevin Randleman has announced on MMAWeekly Radio that he’s “in” with two organizations and will battle very soon. “The Monster” confirmed that he’s joined up with Global Fighting Championships and said of his debut: “As of right now, I am fighting Jeff Monson, June 21 in North Carolina in Bobcat Arena.” Cool, but I’ve been to Bobcat Arena and the toilets are clogged 99% of the time, trust me. I’m just saying.

Jeff Monson and shit-stuffed North Carolina johns aside, Randleman will first jet over to a place he’s quite familiar with: Japan. The fighter battled in the country for years in PRIDE and will do so again:

“My first fight is going to be May 18 in the new Japanese organization, it is not Pride, (but) World Victory Road,” he continued.

Randleman, who hasn’t fought since October 2006 in a loss to Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, has not yet been given an opponent for the World Victory Road fight.

World Victory Road held its first event on Wednesday and announced that both Randleman and Roger Gracie would be fighting on its May event, but it is not yet clear that they would be facing each other.

Glad he clarified that it’s not PRIDE because we were ’bout to get confused since PRIDE has been shut-the-fuck-down. Anywho, according to a Randleman rep an opponent has not been named for the WVR event and contract details are still being hammered out. “The Monster” was 4-6 in PRIDE and 4-3 in the UFC. He is a ho-hum 16-12 overall. Yes, I said ho-hum. It’s the new “sucks”, so get on-board. I was one of the first geniuses to break the term “bitchin”, so I know what I’m doing.