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The Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever

#5 (tie): Brad “The Hillbilly Heartthrob” Imes, Eric “Ravishing Red” Schafer

If you reference your handsomeness in your nickname, not only are you a conceited douchebag, but you’re also neglecting your target audience. Do you know how many women watch MMA? Like, none. So who are you trying to seduce, exactly — that big lug on the other side of the cage? It’s very, very questionable, that’s all I’m saying. Bas “El Guapo” Rutten gets a pass because he’s Dutch and he chose a Spanish nickname, and whatever Bas does is aces in our book.

#4: Tamdan “The Barn Cat” McCrory

Sure, “The Barn Cat” is ridiculous, but you have to admit it’s a lot better than McCrory’s original nickname, “The Shed Pussy.”

#3: Ron “H20Man” Waterman

Oh, for the love of God. As lame as this nickname is, you know that Waterman must have thought he was the cleverest dude on Earth when he came up with it. I’ve never seen Ron fight, but I can only assume that the announcer introduces him as “Ron, two molecules of Hydrogen reacting with one molecule of Oxygen Man, WATERmaaaaan!”

#2: Jorge “The Naked Man” Ortiz

This would be #1 if not for the fact that “The Naked Man” actually works from an intimidation standpoint. “Bill, good news, I got you a fight. It’s on March 25th against a greased-up nude Mexican. Three five-minute rounds, and…you there, Bill?”

#1: Vladimir “The Janitor” Matyushenko

No. Unacceptable. You can’t be an Eastern European immigrant and call yourself “The Janitor.” For future reference, these names are also off-limits: Maria “The Hotel Room Cleaner” Rodriguez, Jacob “The Penny Pincher” Steinberg, and Samir “The Convenience Store Clerk and Part-Time Customer Service Specialist” Patel.

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shizznitt- April 13, 2009 at 7:24 pm
The janitor just means he's taking out the trash.
Anonymous- April 12, 2009 at 4:50 pm
look the "ho bag" on sherdog, thats the worst mma nickname ever
Candice- April 9, 2009 at 8:01 am
Hey...Im a chick and I watch every night! Douche!!

Anonymous- April 2, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Hey!! I'm a girl and i watch MMA!!
(Not to mention I fight, too.)

Anonymous- March 8, 2009 at 9:25 am
everyone is sexy behind the internet there pal.
a girl- October 26, 2008 at 8:33 pm
i'm 21 and i am a sexy bitch who loves mma so there's at least one female fan for ya.
[...] The Top 10 Worst MMA Nicknames Ever [...]
shizznitt- October 21, 2008 at 7:29 pm
"The Janitor" is actually a great nickname because he's taking out the trash.
Worthy of the Top 10- October 21, 2008 at 5:40 pm
WEC fighter Logan “The Pink Pounder” Clark.

Wow. Just wow. Not as bad as H2O man, but still.
Gleb Jolie- October 21, 2008 at 3:13 pm
What about "The Dentist"? Forget the guy's actual name, but that's pretty lame. When was the last time people lost teeth in an MMA bout? (except for Karo losing a veneer against Diego Sanchez, which doesn't count.) You can practically rule out all professions unless they're pretty obviously tough. Janitor, shoeshine boy, parking attendant, regional sales manager...
Ashley- October 21, 2008 at 3:04 pm
While I find "The Hillbilly Heartthrob" and "Ravishing Red" ridiculous, I would like to say that girls DO watch MMA.
Erik- October 21, 2008 at 2:59 pm
I dunno what you guys are thinking. The Janitor is an awesome nickname. What you should have put at #1 was H20man. Now THAT is terrible.
JohnRoger- October 21, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Red nose is a breed of pitbulls..............
missalexlee- July 22, 2008 at 6:02 pm
hahaha. but i agree i think 'the janitor' is a good name. sure haha i mean i get what your saying about the whole 'wow thats racist!' part hahaha. but he picked it, so it shows he's got a sense of humor. and the fact that he's 'cleaning up the mess' that just sounds bad ass to me. :]
SOG knives- July 17, 2008 at 12:20 am
SOG knives...

Interesting ideas... I wonder how the Hollywood media would portray this?...
Anonymous- June 24, 2008 at 5:16 pm
the best nickname is CB "Launchpad McQuack" Dollaway
Anonymous- June 24, 2008 at 5:22 am
yeah, the peoples warrior sucks, he isn't my warrior.....
Anonymous- June 24, 2008 at 5:22 am
Sean Sherk was originally given his nick name by the Japanese media when he fought in Japan and that is how it stuck it wasn't his choice in the first place
Seth- June 24, 2008 at 2:08 am
man "the janitor" is an awesome nickname, i dont know wtf yall are talkin about, I believe you guys wrote this without doing any research at all because theres way worse nicknames out there, though i do agree with you about "muscle shark," that shit is gay, but "the janitor" is a great nickname, because janitors clean up, get it?
ol'pappy- June 23, 2008 at 6:35 pm
it actually pissed me off a little bit when I saw H20man. that is just terrible, you could have at least used "the waterboy" and conjure up images of Adam Sandler
david- May 18, 2008 at 6:45 pm
where is the peoples warrior josh burkman, that is the worst nickname ever
Science man- April 22, 2008 at 9:29 pm
it is not 2 molecules of hydrogen reacting with one molecule of oxygen, they are atoms, not molecules
miguel- February 11, 2008 at 9:23 pm
In spanish "el guapo" also refers to a brave or tough man, when someone is courageous he will be called guapo.
MG- January 23, 2008 at 10:57 am
Muscle Shark...
how about steroid man or small balls.
dty- January 14, 2008 at 10:24 pm
This guy is just jealous.