Perhaps you are part of the ever-diminishing group of people who chose to watch The Ultimate Fighter on a Friday night before going into town on a taxi, having a couple of drugs, having dinner, having a threesome, going home again, having a shower, going out again, more drugs, more threesomes – basically living the rock n’ roll lifestyle of the 18-34 year olds that this show targets. Or perhaps you are straight edge, in which case TUF serves as a warm-up for your night of Mr. Pibb (or some other beverage, if you enjoy missing all the cool things), lines of Pixy Stix and threesomes. You know, standard practice.
If you tuned in during the first episode, the good news is that you were treated to a night of actual fights instead of drunken arguments, disturbing pranks and more of the stuff you hate about the show. Sure, we still had multiple dudes entering the cage sporting Tatanka/Jorgensen hawks, but not everyone can pull off a normal haircut, I guess.
Right off the bat things get awkward between Dana White and Roy Nelson. Before the fights, Big Country informs the fighters that it’s important to entertain the fans, but winning should be their main priority. Dana White lets Shane Carwin address the UFC hopefuls before he tells the fighters how wrong Roy Nelson is for saying that. That moment probably would have been pretty effective in building interest in the Roy Nelson vs. Dana White storyline if Dana White hasn’t been telling everyone who will listen how fed up he is with Big Country.
As for the actual fights, we’ve got results after the jump, including team selections.
Full Results from Episode One:
Dom Waters def. Kevin Nowaczyk via KO (punch), Round One
Michael Hill def. Lev Magen via KO (punch), Round One
Bristol Marunde def. George Lockhart via submission (guillotine choke), Round One
Mike Ricci def. Jason South via TKO (punches), Round One
Julian Lane def. Diego Bautista via unanimous decision
Igor Araujo def. Cortez Coleman via submission (triangle choke), Round Three
James Chaney def. Jerel Clark via submission (triangle choke), Round One
Cameron Diffley def. Zane Kamaka via submission (armbar), Round One
Neil Magny def. Frank Camacho via unanimous decision
Jon Manley def. Ricky Legere Jr. via unanimous decision
Colton Smith def. Jesse Barrett via unanimous decision
Matt Secor def. Mak Griffin via submission (triangle choke), Round Three
Eddie Ellis def. David Michaud via submission (arm-triangle choke), Round Two
Joey Rivera def. Saad Awad via unanimous decision
Nic Herron-Webb def. Tim Ruberg via submission (armbar), Round One
Sam Alvey def. Leo Kuntz via KO (punch), Round One
When it’s time to pick teams, Roy Nelson wins the coin toss, but offers Shane Carwin the chance to pick the first fighter in exchange for the chance to pick the first matchup. After watching him practically zombify 14-1 fighter Leo Kuntz with a right hook, Carwin selects Bellator veteran Smilin’ Sam Alvey with the first overall pick. Roy Nelson choses Dom Waters with his first selection. When it was all said and done, the team rosters looked like this:
Team Carwin: Sam Alvey, Bristol Marunde, Mike Ricci, Neil Magny, James Chaney, Eddie Ellis, Igor Araujo, Matt Secor
Team Nelson: Dom Waters, Michael Hill, Cameron Diffley, Colton Smith, Jon Manley, Nic Herron-Webb, Joey Rivera, Julian Lane
Try not to act too surprised, but the episode ends with Dana White saying that Shane Carwin appears to have the better team, but anything can happen. Cool reality show, bro. Let me know who wins it.