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‘The Ultimate Fighter 16′ Episode One Recap: One Step Closer to the End


Meh.

Perhaps you are part of the ever-diminishing group of people who chose to watch The Ultimate Fighter on a Friday night before going into town on a taxi, having a couple of drugs, having dinner, having a threesome, going home again, having a shower, going out again, more drugs, more threesomes – basically living the rock n’ roll lifestyle of the 18-34 year olds that this show targets. Or perhaps you are straight edge, in which case TUF serves as a warm-up for your night of  Mr. Pibb (or some other beverage, if you enjoy missing all the cool things), lines of Pixy Stix and threesomes. You know, standard practice.

If you tuned in during the first episode, the good news is that you were treated to a night of actual fights instead of drunken arguments, disturbing pranks and more of the stuff you hate about the show. Sure, we still had multiple dudes entering the cage sporting Tatanka/Jorgensen hawks, but not everyone can pull off a normal haircut, I guess.

Right off the bat things get awkward between Dana White and Roy Nelson. Before the fights, Big Country informs the fighters that it’s important to entertain the fans, but winning should be their main priority. Dana White lets Shane Carwin address the UFC hopefuls before he tells the fighters how wrong Roy Nelson is for saying that. That moment probably would have been pretty effective in building interest in the Roy Nelson vs. Dana White storyline if Dana White hasn’t been telling everyone who will listen how fed up he is with Big Country.

As for the actual fights, we’ve got results after the jump, including team selections.

Full Results from Episode One:

Dom Waters def. Kevin Nowaczyk via KO (punch), Round One
Michael Hill def. Lev Magen via KO (punch), Round One
Bristol Marunde def. George Lockhart via submission (guillotine choke), Round One
Mike Ricci def. Jason South via TKO (punches), Round One
Julian Lane def. Diego Bautista via unanimous decision
Igor Araujo def. Cortez Coleman via submission (triangle choke), Round Three
James Chaney def. Jerel Clark via submission (triangle choke), Round One
Cameron Diffley def. Zane Kamaka via submission (armbar), Round One
Neil Magny def. Frank Camacho via unanimous decision
Jon Manley def. Ricky Legere Jr. via unanimous decision
Colton Smith def. Jesse Barrett via unanimous decision
Matt Secor def. Mak Griffin via submission (triangle choke), Round Three
Eddie Ellis def. David Michaud via submission (arm-triangle choke), Round Two
Joey Rivera def. Saad Awad via unanimous decision
Nic Herron-Webb def. Tim Ruberg via submission (armbar), Round One
Sam Alvey def. Leo Kuntz via KO (punch), Round One

When it’s time to pick teams, Roy Nelson wins the coin toss, but offers Shane Carwin the chance to pick the first fighter in exchange for the chance to pick the first matchup. After watching him practically zombify 14-1 fighter Leo Kuntz with a right hook, Carwin selects Bellator veteran Smilin’ Sam Alvey with the first overall pick. Roy Nelson choses Dom Waters with his first selection. When it was all said and done, the team rosters looked like this:

Team Carwin: Sam Alvey, Bristol Marunde, Mike Ricci, Neil Magny, James Chaney, Eddie Ellis, Igor Araujo, Matt Secor
Team Nelson: Dom Waters, Michael Hill, Cameron Diffley, Colton Smith, Jon Manley, Nic Herron-Webb, Joey Rivera, Julian Lane

Try not to act too surprised, but the episode ends with Dana White saying that Shane Carwin appears to have the better team, but anything can happen. Cool reality show, bro. Let me know who wins it.

@SethFalvo 

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presshere- September 25, 2012 at 11:07 pm
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RSparrow- September 16, 2012 at 6:25 am
Stay up with me, get fucked up. Take it down, get fucked up. Trademark it.
RSparrow- September 16, 2012 at 6:22 am
@Rearnaked, nice points. If I stay on track, all of you will see me me in the next three seasons, I promise not to disappoint.
RearNakedSpoon- September 16, 2012 at 4:37 am
I don't get why Alvey was the first pick. He got in a very good shot and is clearly big and tough, but he had absolutely no head movement, he's going to be a sitting duck for any of the faster fighters.

Dana has a point about being exciting when it comes to a TUF season but I don't agree with it in the UFC. Putting yourself in a 50/50 chance of getting knocked out can get you back into the house but win streaks are what makes titles shots in the big league's and it keeps the door open.

Tobey Maguire is my pick for the season. Canadian class surrounded by ass (the bad kind of ass)

Anyone else notice the lack of Brits? Now they have their own season they didn't have to shoe-horn one into the show.
enrikk- September 15, 2012 at 10:56 pm
I mean some guys are more impressive in defeat than others are in victory. Dana says himself that winning is not as important as being impressive, so they should choose the cast based on overall performance. That would keep the LNP'ers and Andy Wangs off the show.
enrikk- September 15, 2012 at 10:48 pm
@Amsterdam Those last two possibilities are not mutually exclusive ;)

More importantly for me, though, is that the guys with the dumbest hair usually lose the show and suck as people. The guy with the red mowhawk and zigzags over-hyped himself talking all about how fighting had to be "born into you" and then he went and had a boring fight and was overly excited about winning it. Dbag.

I really wish they had a more fair system for entering the show. There are always better fighters who don't make the show because they were set against tougher competition, and always a couple guys who won because they were set to fight a wet paper towel and then somehow pulled a close decision victory.
amsterdamheavy- September 15, 2012 at 8:21 pm
Can anyone explain what the fascination with stupid ass haircuts is with MMA fighters?

I mean...its a personal opinion, but I think these guys are all fucking jokes with pink/red/green jerkoff hair. Maybe Im just fuckin old.
GaTVeR- September 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm
WATCH IT HERE ==>>> tinyurl.com/TheUltimateFighterS16
boober- September 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Leo Kuntz... man Rampage woulda had a field day with that one.
NerdRage- September 15, 2012 at 11:41 am
Sam Alvey's KO was a nice way to finish off the night. Looks like the drunken shananagins will be interesting this season.
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