(It took some time, but the Sao Paulo Big Brothers, Big Sisters program finally found Thiago a perfect match. PicProps: TattooBlues)

Much respect to Tatame.com, which is pretty much a constant torrent of breaking news regarding MMA’s Boys From Brazil and even publishes an English language version for those of us too boorish and unrefined to speak the country’s mother tongue. We can’t all be multilingual giants like Chael Sonnen, now can we? Is some of the website’s English prose more or less unintelligible? Sure, but God knows if American bloggers had to keep up Portuguese versions of their sites, most of the results wouldn’t be pretty, either. In fact, what Tatame lacks in clarity it often makes up for with a wonderful unexpectedness of language. Kind of like reading an Aleksandar Hemon short story, only better because it’s about fighting. 

Take for example the site’s latest report on oft injured light heavyweight Thaigo Silva, which begins with a title befitting a Top 40 Country & Western hit and ends with a final paragraph that reads like some kind of weird, impressionist poetry. The facts are this: Silva’s back has been in upheaval since late 2008 and the 28-year-old has had no choice but give it some R&R afer pulling out of a scheduled fight at UFC 117. Now, if things go according to plan, Silva hopes to return before the end of the year.

In a short piece headlined “Thiago Silva don’t want ‘bad luck’ anymore” – yeah, eat your heart out, Brad Paisley – the fighter tells Tatame that since pushing back a scheduled fight with Lyoto Machida at UFC 89, he’s been in near constant pain. We already know that Silva has insinuated the back was a problem during his later losses to Machida and Rashad Evans, but just before he was to meet Tim Boetsch last month it sounds like things got really bad. The following paragraph is from Tatame, so consider it fully sic’d:

“This time I got hurt one week before the fight, and it was even more serious. I lost the movement of my right leg, but I’m doing my recovery work now. I’m not training it all, but they say I’ll be able to train within four weeks …,” Silva says. “There’s nowhere to go, I can’t train. I have to stay still, focus my mind on my strengthen and to solve this problem so i can come back soon”, affirmed the Guy from Sao Paulo, who is currently living in pain since he postponed his fight with Lyoto Machida, in 2008.

Capitalizing “Guy from Sao Paulo” like that’s Silva’s official nickname? Awesome. Even better, however, is the final paragraph which ends with a line so unintentionally beautiful most college English majors couldn’t write it if they tried:

With the busy division, Thiago hopes to comeback for this “mess” soon. “I’ll fight this year, probably in December”, says the athlete from American Top Team, analyzing the division, which nowadays has Maurício “Shogun” Rua as its champion. “The division is stronger, in my opinion, it’s the most disputed on UFC. Unfortunately, my bad luck is keeping me out of it, but I deserve to conquest my space”, promises.