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Tim Sylvia is Still Chasing That UFC Dream, Wants Either Frank Mir or Pat Barry for His Never-Gonna-Happen Return

(Sure, “Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Champion” is a respectable title in its own right, but it just doesn’t carry as much weight at the Playboy Mansion, you know?) 

If there’s one thing you can say about former UFC heavyweight champion and Depends spokesperson Tim Sylvia, it’s that the SOB is persistent. Although his once successful MMA career has become little more than a series of punctuated jokes nowadays — most of which revolve around his fat, fatty, “Fatty Boom-Boom” fatness – “The Maine-iac” will simply not be denied his rightful place back in the UFC’s heavyweight division no matter how many times Dana White pisses in his cornflakes.

But the main issue preventing Sylvia’s UFC aspirations from coming to fruition is one that he doesn’t seem to realize: relevant wins. In the past few years, Sylvia has crushed a few cans (and a professional bodybuilder) in unimpressive fashion, been decapitated in 9 seconds by an aging boxer, dropped a decision to Satoshi Ishii, and been spared a loss on a loosely-defined technicality in his completely unnecessary fourth fight with Andrei Arlovski at OneFC 5. Yet despite all this, Sylvia is still holding onto the hopes that he will end his mixed martial arts career “where it started,” which for all intents and purposes is the UFC. He spoke with MMAWeekly:

I don’t know what is going to happen in the future of the UFC heavyweight division. Ideally I would like to finish out my career where it started and that is in the UFC. There’s great fights out there for me and I’d like to put on a great show for the fans on the biggest stage there is, and that’s obviously the UFC.

And who would Boom-Boom like to face in his glorious return, you ask? For starters, Frank Mir, who infamously snatched Sylvia’s title (and his arm) at UFC 48: Payback, otherwise known as the event wherein Ken Shamrock scored his last relevant win…over Kimo. But the second name on Sylvia’s hit list (just beating out Jared from the Subway commercials because “I ate a thousand of those subs and didn’t lose a fucking pound.”), might surprise you:

I’d like to fight a striker so that we could put on a good show. I have a good friend, Pat Barry, who is in the UFC. I think if him and I fought it would be Fight of the Night or Knockout of the Night. Someone would go to sleep and it would be Fight of the Night. We might be able to score both of them. One of us gets Knockout of the Night and Fight of the Night. We’d put on a good show. We’ve had some good sparring sessions so it would be a good fight for the fans.

Once again, you gotta love Sylvia’s enthusiasm, which is bordering on delusional at this point. The only people he has been putting to sleep lately are his fans, yet he still fancies himself a feared striker and a FOTN contender. It’s like he never even saw his fights with Assuerio Silva, Jeff Monson, Brandon Vera, or his third fight with Arlovski, and that was some forty pounds and six years ago.

His UFC hopes aside, Sylvia is scheduled to face 6-1 prospect Tony Johnson at the upcoming One FC 6. It’s a win that would make a stronger argument for a potential return to the UFC than Sylvia has been able to make since his departure, so let’s hope he’s been cranking out the girly push ups and Evanescence tunes to prepare for it.

-J. Jones

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suhas- May 16, 2013 at 7:24 am
my co-worker's sister-in-law makes $84 hourly on the computer. She has been unemployed for five months but last month her check was $13022 just working on the computer for a few hours. Here's the site to read more
SethF- May 15, 2013 at 1:21 pm

Isn't clear he could make 265? I wouldn't bet on him being able to make 300 at this point in his career.
Alan K- May 15, 2013 at 9:19 am
Please Dana. Just let Tim get his ass kicked one more time in the UFC so he'll then shut the hell up.
Pen Fifteen- May 15, 2013 at 8:34 am
No one respects the guy because he has attempted to bitch, moan, and cajole his way back into the UFC, rather than sucking it up and beating tough opponents. He acts like he's owed another shot, which is horseshit. The dude jumped ship for a big payday against Fedor, got embarassed, and showed himself to be clearly on the downside of his career. What does the UFC have to gain from a Sylvia fight? The guy is all but irrelevant to the average fan at this point, and it isn't even clear he could make 265.
Kimbo Lesnar- May 15, 2013 at 5:32 am
Wow, the lack of respect for a former champ here is astonishing. Sure it was when the division was at its lowest, but the guy has a winning record. Danga obviously thinks he could do better.
algiersheadkick504- May 14, 2013 at 8:42 pm
Give him stipe miocic he would make Tim look slow mo
FightZen- May 14, 2013 at 5:30 pm
"But the second name on Sylvia’s hit list (just beating out Jared from the Subway commercials because “I ate a thousand of those subs and didn’t lose a fucking pound.”), might surprise you..."

Nah, it was in the title.
cman- May 14, 2013 at 5:24 pm
Please, there's a dozen 125# Asians who would beat his ass in Nathans hot dog eating contest.
No way he holds on to that belt.
Fried Taco- May 14, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Who could resist that chubby little face?