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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Tim Sylvia: This Is What 310.6 Pounds Looks Like




(Photos courtesy of Sherdog.)

If you want an idea of how not-seriously Tim Sylvia was taking his fight against Ray Mercer, check out the above photos, which show Timmy entering the cage looking like Jamie Varner‘s fat uncle. He’s as bloated as the Montauk Monster, and clearly hadn’t shaved his face or stomach in over a week. And goddamn did Ray make him pay for it. Sylvia now has the unenviable task of losing 45 pounds in a month-and-a-half for a scheduled "Affliction: Trilogy" bout against Paul Buentello on August 1st — though Buentello now wonders if the fight will even happen. Way to go, tubby.

UPDATE, 3:12 p.m. ET: Tim Sylvia has officially been taken off the 8/1 Affliction card.

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ScrambledEggs- June 22, 2009 at 8:38 am
What a complete fat ass douchebag.
TheeBlueRoom- June 17, 2009 at 8:15 pm
>>>His name is Robert Paulson.

Love the fight club quote...
AussieJosh- June 16, 2009 at 1:39 am
Suck shit Tim!!! you ezy money taking son of a bitch! Go spend your millions on some cheese cake! and for desert there is always Burger King!!!!
Maitreyan disciple- June 15, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Give Tim the respect he deserves for even striking with a stud like Merciless Ray. He needs to learn hands from DQ and get on the cure with the quickness! A body meltdown could have him checking in at Light Heavy within 1 year. No sheet.
Joedirt- June 15, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Thanks for coming out Tim. Nothing to do with comparing boxing to MMA... but dammit Tim.... next time don't shoot your mouth off. Of course how could you.... Mercer knocked it off.
SlapjawAckrite- June 15, 2009 at 3:34 pm
sorry purp pick but i think El famous burrito's answers were better, the set up with the chicken wing then "i his stomach" was just great
MMAMoneyLine- June 15, 2009 at 2:08 pm
He wouldn't be able to get down to 265 even if he could make the fight with Buentello.
BackbaconBilly- June 15, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Thats fuckin disgusting!!! Tim should hang his head in shame and his gloves up!
JPfighter- June 15, 2009 at 1:49 pm
C'mon guys, that's not Timmay. If you take a closer look you can clearly see that it is Jack Osborne, son of Ozzy Osborne. Haven't you seen Jack's Muay Thai training? Obviously Jack is not yet ready for primetime. The real Timmay would have dismantled Ray Mercer with his lightning fast modern MMA skills, gained through years of advanced lay-and-pray training with douchebags like Matt Hughes. That is not the real Timmay.
J-Dog- June 15, 2009 at 1:46 pm
He's always been pudgy. My wife calls him the "dough boy". That dude has never been known for having a fighter physique, but yeah he's pretty ridiculously fat in those pics.
NECROPHYTE- June 15, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Looks Like a fat-faced Hitler on his chest.
C-Bus Allstar- June 15, 2009 at 12:59 pm
I think NinJay might have something there.. someone put that guy on Suicide watch. BUDDY SYSTEM ANYONE?
NinJay- June 15, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Never thought I would agree with Hal but I think he might be on to something. When I saw the pictures I thought "wow he has got to be depressed after losing like that and LOOKING like that, hopefully he doesn't do something stupid". Then I saw the update that takes him off the Affliction card and went immediately to "ok, someone put this guy on suicide watch". I honestly hope I'm wrong.

The Varner reference was dead on CP.
El Famous Burrito- June 15, 2009 at 12:53 pm
You got questions, I've got answers

1)Why is Tim's chest is making a frowny face?

Because he's about to spend nine seconds NOT eating.

2)Where is his other eyebrow?

Obviously Timmy fell asleep on a plate of chicken wings. When he woke up, one was stuck to his forehead. As he tore it off, the eyebrow came with it. So, the answer to your question is: in his stomach.

3)Who is going to give Timmy the hug he so desperately needs?

His name is Robert Paulson.
PurplePickle- June 15, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Poutine, here are the answers:
1. His chest is not frowning, it is groaning.

2. Ray Mercer knocked that eyebrow off.

3. Probably the paramedics or some sort of first responder.
Cookie Monster- June 15, 2009 at 12:51 pm
hahahaha, if you check out timmy's website, he has a whole section devoted to showing you, his devoted fans, what exactly timmy eats every day and how much he works out....im gonna guess that he hasn't been sticking real close to that regiment, thats just an uneducated guess tho
MIRJITSU- June 15, 2009 at 12:50 pm
This just in. Tim Syliva ATE Andre Arlovski before his fight with Ray Mercer in order to reach his 300+ stature for the fight. Arlovski was said to have put up the same defense against Sylvia eating him as he did in his last two mma fights.... None at all!
Poutine Guillotine- June 15, 2009 at 12:45 pm
So many photos so many questions...

1st:
Why is Tim's chest is making a frowny face?

2nd:
Where is his other eyebrow?

3rd:
Who is going to give Timmy the hug he so desperately needs?



Cookie Monster- June 15, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Ghost Busters reference!!! yes!!
Just A Wrestler- June 15, 2009 at 12:42 pm
i like Mercer's karate stance as the fat boy goes-a-tumbling down
831 Son- June 15, 2009 at 12:40 pm
What a fat bitch.
El Famous Burrito- June 15, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Ray Mercer: I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!

Ray Mercer's Manager: Nice thinkin', Ray.
raspberrymight- June 15, 2009 at 12:33 pm
You'll be hard pressed to find a die hard Sylvia fan, I've never like him as a fighter but jebus he looks like he's just given up on training altogether, why bother training when you can spend all day watching tv and eating junk food? especially if you're only going to be in the cage for 9seconds at a time.

Still its sad to see him like that, its no where near as sad as chuck's demise from mma, but then he's pushing 40. Fuck me, Sylvia was 9-4 in the UFC, its not the most impressive record by far but 5 of his wins were tko/ko and he didnt actually have a split decision while in the organisation.

Man's a walking joke, get back on the roids, at least he could have some artificial success
Goog- June 15, 2009 at 12:31 pm
If this is what it took to finally get this douchebag off the radar, then I suppose there's a positive here somewhere. He should be headlining local farm shows and he'd still probably be getting KO'd.
NECROPHYTE- June 15, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Even though I don't like T.S, I hope you're wrong Haliburton.
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