Since it’s Labor Day and I’ve already spent too much time going through your submissions for our latest caption contest — fine work, by the way — we’re just going to do this old-school style, where I pick two winners and then you bitch about them mightily in the comments section. But first, the honorable mentions:

mayhem420: Wait…didn’t Kendall Grove say that guns were for white people?

ruckus: Sean Sherk, you’re dead.

adam: Following months of hardcore training in Brazil, BJ Penn thinks he has found a weakness in Machida’s defense.

The Truth: Quick, what’s Hawaiian for “one-legged French Canadian”?

Aptninja: Um, okay, so…where is the carb?

jakey: The Penn is mightier than the sword

Cankly Carano: “Upon seeing this photo, Jim Lampley exclaimed, ‘See, I told you these barbarian ultimate fighters take knives and guns into their cages. Pathetic. No skill compared to the sweet science! …now where’s that bitch wife of mine? She needs a good smack across the face.’”

Horror Fighter: BJ Penn prepares a response for all CagePotato readers who consistently complain about “caption contest” winners.

And now the winners…

devilmonkey: This is what you get when you mate a Cabbage Patch Kid with GI Joe. [Ed. note: Exactly!]

neosamurai: “Who cares how I’m supposed to hold this thing, I just want to make out with a bullet wound.” [Ed. note: Disgusting!]

So, if your commenting nicknames happen to be “devilmonkey” or “neosamurai,” please e-mail us at feedback@cagepotato.com with your name and address, and we’ll get those signed copies of Kelly Crigger’s Title Shot out to you ASAP. As for the rest of youse guys, better luck next time, and if you need some bathroom reading, honestly, you won’t regret picking up the book.