— Ortiz claimed he could beat Chuck Zito, Jet Li, Chuck Norris, and Bruce Lee in fights, and could defeat Mike Tyson within 30 seconds in an MMA-rules bout.
— Ortiz on Dana White: “He’s an egotistical egomaniac. He wants to be a fighter and a superstar. I’ve worked so hard for (the UFC) and put my ass on the line. I’ve fought injured and with a torn ACL and a bulging disc and still put my ass on the line, and they still don’t show me respect. Dana’s like Don King. The only thing that separates him and Dana White is the color of their skin.” On the UFC: “They make about $43 million on pay-per-view, which doesn’t even include (the live gate), which is another $5 million, and not to mention merchandise sales.” Ortiz expressed his feeling that all UFC fighters should be getting a bigger cut of the company’s revenue.
— According to Ortiz, Jenna Jameson’s new, smaller breast implants are “awesome.” Jameson gave Ortiz credit for turning her back onto men. “He’s good at the same things women are,” she said. (Excuse us for a moment as we find something to throw up in. Ah, this saucepan will do.)
— From the show summary on HowardStern.com: “Jenna confessed that she sometimes gets sore because Tito wants sex so often…Jenna also took the opportunity to deny claims that she’s had a botched vaginoplasty; ‘My cookie is beautiful and I love it.’ Tito seemed to agree.” There was also some stuff about porn, Britney Spears, and bejeweled goggles that we won’t reprint.
— Ortiz is coming out with an autobiography in June called It’s Going to Hurt. What’s going to hurt, being outsold by your girlfriend at Borders?
— Ortiz used to be a meth addict.
Note to Tito: Please stop talking about how much the UFC makes, and how much they’re not paying you. It’s like walking around with a big “SUE ME” sign on your back.