“Torld witle…torld witle…no, something doesn’t sound right.”

It used to be that you could count on Tito Ortiz to show up on fight night, come up short, then cite an outrageous injury as the reason for his loss. Well, it looks like someone has taken our little ban to heart, as “The Huntington Beach Bad Boy” disclosed yesterday via Twitter that he has suffered a serious concussion and received some 22 stitches, forcing him out of his bout with Lil’ Nog next month at UFC Fight Night 24.

First off, some serious questions. What the hell could have done such damage to that magnificent dome?  Did the boys at NASA discover some new super-alloy? No, not likely. The clear answer here is that Tito contracted some sort of communicable skull-softening disease, likely from close contact with a known carrier. While Tito’s fellow scientists race for a cure, Dana White wasted no time in naming his replacement for the bout.

Wrestling ace Phil Davis will look to bolster his undefeated record to 9-0 as he takes a big step up in competition against Minotoro. Davis has shown a fondness for the submission arts, going so far as to introduce his own one-armed version of the kimura in his victory over Tim Boetsch at UFC 123 last November, but in this tilt he’ll be taking on a legit black belt in Minotoro. This bout will either propel “Mr. Wonderful” up the Light Heavyweight ranks or put Nogueira back on the winning track.

As for Tito, this injury could be a blessing in disguise. He was in for an extremely tough bout against Nogueira, and if he loses his next fight he will absolutely be cut, never to return to the Octagon. Probably. Please keep Tito in your prayers, kids, something tells me this isn’t the first major concussion he’s suffered.

- Chris Colemon