MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tito Ortiz: Great Commentator, or Greatest Commentator?


(An enormous head, filled with 12 pounds of cookie dough. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

We just wanted to share these quotes from Tito’s absolutely stunning broadcast debut at "Day of Reckoning," collected from these threads on the UG:

Sobral/Sokoudjou

"Here we are with Seraldo Babalu, you did an awesome job, saw why you’re a black belt in jiu-jitsu, getting an awesome submission there, I want to tell me what you see, let’s go ahead and see by the fight, what you saw, in the ring."

"You showed the dominance by getting the takedown and looking for a choke in that position. We know the weakness that you had, but you actually showed the heart and determination of a champion of how tough of a light heavyweight you really are, here in the Affliction card. What do you think of the future of you, um, future opponents?"

"Yes, and uh, my back will be better in about three months, so I know all the fans would love to see me and you get it on. You know what, you’re an awesome fighter, congratulations tonight. Everybody lets give a hand to Renato Babalu, one of the greatest light heavyweights, of the night."

Belfort/Lindland

"Matt the Lindland Law…The Law Lindland."

"Well, Belfort, we saw you with an astonishing left hand, that’s the left hand that I used to see you knock people out time and time again, we’re gonna go ahead and go over it. Walk me through it, show me exactly what you seen with this."

"Well, like I said, you show your hand-speed time and time again Vitor, 185 pounds, lady and gentlemen, let’s give Vitor Belfort a round of applause, an awesome 105 pounder, you just beat the number two guy in the world, buddy, you’re on top of the world tonight!"

"Wow! That’s all I got to say. Vitor at 185 pounds. I don’t know. I see him beating the, uh, what was it, Anderson Silva. I see him picking him apart because you have two great boxers, and, man, that was amazing. That was the old Vitor Belfort that we all want to see. Him at 131 years old. He’s back for vengeance."


Barnett/Yvel

"Well, here we go, we, here we go we got Josh Barnett, with a dominating fashion. Buddy, he said he wanted to stand up with you. You said you wanted to stand up with him. All the gameplans get thrown out and you shown the dominant heavyweight that you are. He wasn’t getting away from you. Walk me through the fight."

"Well, alright, we’re gonna go ahead show some some action from around one right here. I want you to walk me through and how do you feel as you went through this stuff?"

"Well you should have your head high tonight, you did an awesome job, entertained every one of these fans. You did a great job, I’m proud of you buddy. Keep it up, let’s see the winner tonight, you’ll be next in line."

"Well, you showed what type of champion you really are. Everybody lets give a hand to Josh Barnett, the baby-faced assassin, continuing his win career. Good job Josh! We’ll go back to you Sean."

Fedor/Arlovski

"July 4th has come early."

"I’m gonna have my interpreter here for Fedor Emelianenko. Everybody had questions on what type of heavyweight you were. You’ve showed it once on Tim Sylvia in 38 seconds. You’ve done it again against Andrei Arlovski in 3 minutes and 34 seconds. Let me tell you how you feelin right now."

"Well there’s always been question from other promotions saying that you weren’t the best heavyweight in the world. Well, tonight, buddy, you’ve answered those questions. You tooken out two of the former UFC heavyweight champions and you are the best heavyweight… in my eyes and I believe every one of these guys’ eyes around the world… of tonight…"

"Well, we got to see, actually, Josh Barnett in the last fight, win in a decision. It looks like you two are going to be heading off and another chance for you to defend your heavyweight title. What do you think as Josh as your next opponent?"

"Well the millions that are watching at home and the fifteen thousand and more in audience tonight, ladies and gentlemen, the pound for pound best heavyweight in the world today, Fedor Emelianenko, the last emperor, congratulations buddy."

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LoneWolf- August 7, 2009 at 11:57 am
Just re-reading this pisses me off....what a fucking idiot Tito is.
micjasbro- May 5, 2009 at 1:16 pm
He needs an interpreter!!
KGB- April 1, 2009 at 7:41 am
@mbuster

That was one of the funniest things I have read on here.
NateGetsIrate- March 31, 2009 at 12:19 pm
So i'm re-reading this again at work and i seriously must look like the craziest fuck ever cuz i'm really trying my absolute hardest not to bust out laughing that my face is beet red like a noobie in a jiu-jitsu class, i got a mean grin on like an adrenaline juiced Houston Alexander from stifling the laughter, and my eyes are glossy as hell from the tears building up and ready to go. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous- March 16, 2009 at 3:01 pm
congratulations buddy
Ozone - February 1, 2009 at 8:31 pm
oh wow ...between seeing tito's comments again and everyone elses comments i laughed and laughed! thanks to all involved...especially you tito for making this all possible
cornerman- January 30, 2009 at 7:59 pm
You left out the best one....when Lindlan went down Tito was talking about safety being first and foremost and it came out "furth-an-forth-moarth" I have it as my new ring tone. Love Tito he is awesome.
mistassmo- January 30, 2009 at 2:58 pm
131 years old, what a tool, he has to get his head out from between Jenna's thighs or the lack of air is gonna finish making him retarded.
mikey16- January 30, 2009 at 11:52 am
wow! seriously you would figure with such a huge head.....there might be an average size brain at least..... its gotta be that bleach seaping into his huge noggin.... get in the ring and stop making excuses already mr. HUNINGTON "BLEACH" BADBOY
Anonymous- January 28, 2009 at 3:09 pm
man i love this site, it even draws witty anonymous comments.
PronounceThis- January 28, 2009 at 9:20 am
"Fedor" is actually pronounced "Fyo-dor" in Russian, even Josh Barnett used this pronunciation when interviewed by Tito.
Anon- January 28, 2009 at 8:45 am
I wonder if kicking the raspy voiced knob in the balls would bring his voice into line.

Honestly, who the f**k thinks "yip, I like this guy" and signs these clowns up?
Anonymous- January 28, 2009 at 8:37 am
when you say fedor you make it sound like fjodor .. so he just wanted to keep i original
Anon- January 28, 2009 at 8:32 am
I love that he wants to act now, as well.

Oh the irony, he will be the next Ken Shamrock.
Anonymous- January 28, 2009 at 7:03 am
"Rogan has a clear bias when you of his buddies is fighting."

Tito is that you?!
Da Truth- January 28, 2009 at 12:36 am
He was a bit nervous sure..BUT he actually did a GOOD Job..his commentating while watching the fights was Good..and he bought a bit of PERSONALITY into the ring for once...also the fighters obviously knew who he was and opened up a little more than they do talking to say...a 3rd rate stand up comic.
Black03Marauder- January 27, 2009 at 7:55 pm
He reminds me of Murray Walker, this F1 commentator who was famous for screwing up(He once said, "I'll stop the startwatch")

They do really need to Keep Tito as a commentator because everyone has to admit that was most hilarious commenation ever performed in MMA.
What a fool- January 27, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Tito sure made a fool out of himself that night. I have followed MMA since 93' and that was just the worst commentator ever...

Do what you do best dude, but please don't ruin more shows.
Danny F- January 27, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Tito and Jenna, oh man their offspring... large heads, with nothing in them whatsoever...
Rocko1- January 27, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Tito (to Jenna); "So, how does taste Andre's pee-pee-pee?"
Jenna kisses Tito
Tito; "Oh"
Anonymous- January 27, 2009 at 8:50 am
JOE ROGAN > ALL!
Irish Ink- January 27, 2009 at 8:35 am
wow.
sickos- January 27, 2009 at 7:55 am
What's funny is Tito was in his home town (orange county) and everytime he would get in the ring, the whole arena would start booing his ass. Felt kind of bad for the guy..for about .02 seconds. hahahaha

He really looked like a cheap ass Joe Rogan, and fuck I hate Joe Rogan sometimes. I think Joe vs Tito..... What you guys think???

Settle this "best commentator ever" beef once and for all.

I'm thinking Joe via go go plata! HAHAHA
Anonymous- January 27, 2009 at 7:49 am
Tito's funniest and most revealing quote came in his closing comments when he referenced how "hard it is to beat off Fedor".
Cap'n- January 27, 2009 at 6:40 am
Buddy, that guy in my eyes, has defenitely tooken the cake as the biggest moron in the 105 pound divsion, pound for pound... tonight.

He's like Yogi Berra, with an axe in his head.
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