(An enormous head, filled with 12 pounds of cookie dough. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)
We just wanted to share these quotes from Tito’s absolutely stunning broadcast debut at "Day of Reckoning," collected from these threads on the UG:
Sobral/Sokoudjou
"Here we are with Seraldo Babalu, you did an awesome job, saw why you’re a black belt in jiu-jitsu, getting an awesome submission there, I want to tell me what you see, let’s go ahead and see by the fight, what you saw, in the ring."
"You showed the dominance by getting the takedown and looking for a choke in that position. We know the weakness that you had, but you actually showed the heart and determination of a champion of how tough of a light heavyweight you really are, here in the Affliction card. What do you think of the future of you, um, future opponents?"
"Yes, and uh, my back will be better in about three months, so I know all the fans would love to see me and you get it on. You know what, you’re an awesome fighter, congratulations tonight. Everybody lets give a hand to Renato Babalu, one of the greatest light heavyweights, of the night."
Belfort/Lindland
"Matt the Lindland Law…The Law Lindland."
"Well, Belfort, we saw you with an astonishing left hand, that’s the left hand that I used to see you knock people out time and time again, we’re gonna go ahead and go over it. Walk me through it, show me exactly what you seen with this."
"Well, like I said, you show your hand-speed time and time again Vitor, 185 pounds, lady and gentlemen, let’s give Vitor Belfort a round of applause, an awesome 105 pounder, you just beat the number two guy in the world, buddy, you’re on top of the world tonight!"
"Wow! That’s all I got to say. Vitor at 185 pounds. I don’t know. I see him beating the, uh, what was it, Anderson Silva. I see him picking him apart because you have two great boxers, and, man, that was amazing. That was the old Vitor Belfort that we all want to see. Him at 131 years old. He’s back for vengeance."
Barnett/Yvel
"Well, here we go, we, here we go we got Josh Barnett, with a dominating fashion. Buddy, he said he wanted to stand up with you. You said you wanted to stand up with him. All the gameplans get thrown out and you shown the dominant heavyweight that you are. He wasn’t getting away from you. Walk me through the fight."
"Well, alright, we’re gonna go ahead show some some action from around one right here. I want you to walk me through and how do you feel as you went through this stuff?"
"Well you should have your head high tonight, you did an awesome job, entertained every one of these fans. You did a great job, I’m proud of you buddy. Keep it up, let’s see the winner tonight, you’ll be next in line."
"Well, you showed what type of champion you really are. Everybody lets give a hand to Josh Barnett, the baby-faced assassin, continuing his win career. Good job Josh! We’ll go back to you Sean."
Fedor/Arlovski
"July 4th has come early."
"I’m gonna have my interpreter here for Fedor Emelianenko. Everybody had questions on what type of heavyweight you were. You’ve showed it once on Tim Sylvia in 38 seconds. You’ve done it again against Andrei Arlovski in 3 minutes and 34 seconds. Let me tell you how you feelin right now."
"Well there’s always been question from other promotions saying that you weren’t the best heavyweight in the world. Well, tonight, buddy, you’ve answered those questions. You tooken out two of the former UFC heavyweight champions and you are the best heavyweight… in my eyes and I believe every one of these guys’ eyes around the world… of tonight…"
"Well, we got to see, actually, Josh Barnett in the last fight, win in a decision. It looks like you two are going to be heading off and another chance for you to defend your heavyweight title. What do you think as Josh as your next opponent?"
"Well the millions that are watching at home and the fifteen thousand and more in audience tonight, ladies and gentlemen, the pound for pound best heavyweight in the world today, Fedor Emelianenko, the last emperor, congratulations buddy."
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Comments
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:22
first
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:24
No wonder he's trying to make a ho into a housewife. I've heard War Machine state things more clearly................
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:25
Biggest moron evar
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:26
I know Tito is a big PPV draw, so he probably was worth the paycheck, but he definitely lost his long going battle with the English language last night. Joe Rogan leaves some big shoes to fill...
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:27
He is a walking tool shed
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:28
God, what a dumb fuck.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:31
Wow! To see it in print just adds to the awesomeness. Tito can hang his head high as the bestest announcers of the world tonight. Good job buddy.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:32
Its the only thing i couldnt stand about the whole show. I almost had to hit the mute button. I hope we never have to see titos huge head ever again.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:32
That dudes head is so fucking big.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:37
That was so funny! But potato you missed all the time Tito called Fedor -Fieodor. And during the end of the event he actually called him Theodore Emelianko. But funny stuff, you should post more if you have anymore.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:37
I thinks he does a stellar job. I wish people more talk like that.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:37
"I got to say that was impressivly was not the best we've seen you at tonight. It could of gone both ways but you decided to take it all down" - Commentator in the bedroom with Jenna
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:39
He talk even gooder than George W. Bush.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:40
im sure he was a lil nervous u guys need to layoff n stop fuckin hatin on the man, CP get sumthin else to write about and PLEASE quit suckin dana whites cock
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:40
Tito Ortiz is a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:41
Hell fucking Bill Goldberg was better then that shit and Goldberg sucks donkeyballs.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:41
Sobral/Sokoudjou " You win. Me get back Stronger. Me fight you in ring. Jenna watch. Me lose. She cry tears of dissapointment. Me sad. Me go home now."
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:42
"I'm gonna have my interpreter here for Fedor Emelianenko." Who is Tito's interpreter?
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:42
"Anonymous Says: Mon, 01/26/2009 - 13:40 im sure he was a lil nervous u guys need to layoff n stop fuckin hatin on the man, CP get sumthin else to write about and PLEASE quit suckin dana whites cock" Tito?? Is that you lil Tito??
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:44
Why even post this shit you mother fuckers are just encouraging fighter bashing from assholes. Like Mike Goldberg and Joe Rogan are great commentators. Put some of their more memorable quotes on here. Goldberg has been doing this for years and still knows nothing about the sport. Rogan has a clear bias when you of his buddies is fighting. As an example Rogan is constantly preaching that referees are wrong for standing fighters up when action stalls. He's said if a guy gets taking down it's his job to get back up. Then when Jeremy Horn his friend is getting dominated by Palhares he's saying that the referee should stand the guys up there's not a lot going on here. Real professional. Tito was bad at the in ring interviews after the fights for sure and whoever thought that would go over well is crazy, but as a color commentator during the fights he was good. He knew fighters strengths and weaknesses and what their strategy was. Unlike the normal bullshit you hear from MMA commentators like Trigg, Rogan, Goldberg, etc....
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:45
Cheetos parents had to be related. The guy has a few missing chromosomes for sure. I am glad to see that God does have a sense of humor though. To give a human a head that big for haircuts only, that is hillarious God. Tito could travel back 50,000 years and fit in just fine. I can already picture him rubbing to sticks together to make a fire, and then lick the fire. Can you imagine the conversations that go on in his household. They must be mind boggling. Listening to him and Jenna would be like an acid trip, just with less jizz.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:46
who won the pickem contest and you need to have one for this saturday i have my picks all made GSP by murder rnd1 is my 1st pick
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:46
I cringed when i saw his interviews with the fighter. Poor Tito....He has nothing left. Elite XC is gone, Affliction might be going soon, and the UFC wants to only use his popularity over seas. Rest assure however, that the UFC will offer him very little money just to insult him. Despite this, Tito will have to take it because he has nowhere else to go. Poor guy, I dislike him but I dont wish the worst for him. Poor poor meathead....what will he do.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:50
Pronouncing "Fedor" to rhyme with "Theodore" isn't all that wrong; it's closer to the Russian than the normal English pronunciation.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:50
@Tyler I believe that Goldie and Rogan have had their commentating skills bashed plenty of times here. So it's ok for you to bash Rogan and Goldberg here but no one else can comment on Tito's complete inability to come up with a coherent statement while conducting an interview?
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:51
Maybe Tito actually thinks in Japanese, and has to translate into English on the fly. That's the only possibly explanation for such butt-fucked phrasing.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:51
LOL. Yeah, that was hard to follow. Some guys have the ability to intelligently analyze,interview and be a great guest commentator such as Randy, Kenny and KIMBO...
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:51
I am so glad this got put out for everyone to see. I couldn't believe what I was hearing while watching these fights. In one of the other interviews before the fight, Tito also referred to Machida as Matyshenko, when talking about his last fight in the UFC. The guy just can't get it straight.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:54
No one can do it like Rogan and that guy is stoned half the time he is on air.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:56
Why think you good commentator Tito is not, hmmm?
Mon, 01/26/09 - 01:59
Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:00
Tito is that you?
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:01
nah man nobody is worse than bill goldberg
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:02
Even here, through the computer screen, I can see my reflection in Tito's head...
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:11
"Let me tell you how you are feeling right now" hahahahahaahahahahahahaha when i first heard that i fuckin pissed my pants
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:13
That's not exactly the kind of head polishing I expected from Jenna?!?
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:13
Well here we go! Here we go, I'm here with Tito Ortiz after a pretty unimpressive job as color commentator for Affliction. Well you told us awhile back you were planning on actually fighting on this card not sitting around watching. Do you think your inflated ego and salary demands were a factor in not being able to fight on the card today?... Wow really, well...with your last performance against Toyota Macheeto its not surprising at all. Well, everybody give it up for the TOOL lightweight champion, Tito Ortiz. Congratulations buddy... of tonight...
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:21
"4th of July has come early" when i heard that i was like....wtf? either he is as dumb as rock or too deep im thinkin just too many hits...and im not talkin the punching kind :P
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:21
I'm tired of the out-of-cage Tito. Unless he laces up his gloves, I don't really care to see him anymore. Fighting is his gig. The sooner he figures that out, and stops with the special appearances, gimmicks, announcing, etc. the better off we'll all be.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:25
That's a nice suit though.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:26
Fight Machida...you get tooled. Announcing like this...you are a tool.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:27
Isn't 'Fedor' the Russian equivalent to 'Theodore'? I mean, I'm not trying to help Tito out here, the guy is pretty slow, but they were hanging out all week. I'm sure he was enlightened to some fact and wanted to spread the news in his own special way on Saturday night.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:27
Doesn't affliction know that there are people out there that actually go to school for this shit? They invest so much time and money in schooling to later find out that a moron is getting paid for doing that shitty job
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:28
he also called fedor "theodore"
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:32
"Brain and brain. What is brain?!"
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:32
Come on guys, don't be assholes. Tito isn't that bad, he just has a very orthonodox style.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:37
Syphilis sends you mad doesn't it?
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:37
Greatest!!!
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:38
Affliction 3 Main Event...War Machine vs Tito...Blogger vs Commentator for the WAMMA Undisputed Idiot of the World
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:38
CP is once again bashing every thing that is not UFC and riding Danas Whites f#$k stick!! As for Tito this is his first time being a comentator through the entire show so give him a break he was probably a little nervous. And yes Rogan is good but the guy is a professional actor/ stand up comedian so im sure that he is well versed in the act of "speking"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:39
Just cause you let Jenna tell you how YOU feel, that doesnt mean you can pull that shit on fighters you are interviewing, blockhead.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:40
This article completely mind fucked me without mercy.... i gotta written something uh dumb for class, and now you have me talked like Tit-oh! yeah... totally
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:42
Somewhere in Costa Mesa, there is a crackhouse missing it's blue plaid draperies.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:48
tito was the worst. i couldn't even look at the tv when he was on. and scott ferrall rounding out the all-star commentating crew? i hope someone got fired for that. 50 bucks well spent...
Mon, 01/26/09 - 02:49
and josh winning by decision what the fuck?
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:01
I'm just wondering why Tito posts on CP under the name Tyler.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:17
funky phonetic spelling, grammatical errors a sixth-grader would make, is this fucking tito ortiz? tyler is the best pseudonym you could come up with? i can just see how that must have went inside your big dumb watermelon head: " okay, now for a post name, t-i-t-o, oh shit... (backspace,backspace,backspace). t-y-l-e-r. yeah there we go. they'll never figure this out. good one tito ortiz. nice.mmmm, tito. that sounds nice. tito im giving me an errection. you are the next apprentice. yes you are..." ps joe rogan knows more about the game than tito does and can complete a sentence without somehow seem like hes trying to ask himself a question. tito's so arrogant and self centered he cant even tell when he talking in the third person; like hes a walking freudian case subject. DUDE IS RETARDED.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:19
Let's get right to the heart of it here- If Chuck Liddell did the same thing, word for word, people would be laughing and making light of it because seriously... it was a nervous effort. However, Tito is such a thoroughbred asswipe in every aspect of life that this is just another good excuse to attack him, his mother, his girlfriend's vagina, head size, etc. If he was normally pretty cool and just showed some nerves, people would say "Needs some practice there, Tito". But being such an arrogant prick combined with what happened the other night has thousands of people sharpening their ax and it's too easy to not railroad him for it. I don't like him, either. I'll get flamed for this, but I wouldn't mind having him do the job if he brushed up and smoothed it out. At least he can offer what a fighter is thinking. Best one so far who I actually enjoy? Frank Mir. Don't like him in other regards, but he knows his stuff and does a great job on WEC.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:24
Yeah, well I am here with, uh, hold on....Hey, finally, yeah I am here with, wait, who are you? Shit. Can we start over? No? Shit. What? Stop swearing? Oh, right, yeah. So anyway, I am here with...uh...Where'd he go? Fuck. Yeah, the swearing thing, right. Shit, I mean shoot. Hey does my head look big in this suit? Right, the interspec. Do we got him again? He's coming, great. Do you guys have Clue cards I could just read? What? You know, clue cards, telling me what to say...idiot. No? What about Q? Oh yeah. So Im here with...back to you CP.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:24
give MBuster a shirt that made me LULZ
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:24
well i hope tito plans to continue commentating for free for the rest of his commentating career cause he sucked
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:25
According to researchers at JPL, this past Saturday night Anaheim experienced the largest d-bag quotient of all time with Tito and Scott Farrell in the same building.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:25
Tyler, when you done "wiffa fluffing cheetos" nuts take a step back and really understand what he is being criticized for. Im sure tito was a bit nervous and doesnt have much commentating experience but it was embarrasing to watch him stumble time and time again. As to Rogan being biased, i'd rather take a somewhat biased commentator who is intelligent and keeps your attention rather than Tito ortiz who is biased in his own right and sounds dumb as fuck. Tito couldnt shut the fuck up for two seconds how Fedor "has taken out former ufc champ in 38 seconds" or "ohh it took him just 3 minutes and 38 seconds to take out former UFC heavyweight champ". Give me a break, your hypocracy can only go so far yah Tito fluffing guzzle cunt.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:29
the most annoying damn thing was Tito kept saying "Fee-uh-dor" hes a stupid shit anyway... but by far the most dumbass quote ive heard from Tito... and possily anyone was, "I made Jenna Jameson my wife"
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:30
Tito and Scott Farrell's performance could only be topped if the commentators for the next Affliction show were the Incredible Hulk and Solomon Grundy.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:31
no this is not tito, im just an mma fan... not on the dana white banwagon like the rest of the tito haters
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:32
you guys fucking crack me up. for the record dana white should be raped by a donkey, im just worried he'd put it on pay per view and make money off it.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:37
reading how he talks makes me feel retarded
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:39
Hearing Tito and the backstage goons talk during the Affliction show made me think this "where is Rogan or Mir".....That makes me sad to even think it! Damn you Tito and your destruction of the English language....damn you to hell!
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:40
Hey Blockhead (Tito), just because Jenna Jameson tells out of work fighters (You) what to think and how to feel, doesnt mean that you can talk that way to active fighters (Everyone you interviewed, of the night).
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:47
I thought Tee-o-to did a great fucking job. Thanks for lending me Jenna last night and mentioning me on the air. You didn't have to mention the early part, it's a bit embarrassing. -4th of July
Mon, 01/26/09 - 03:51
I enjoyed the Affliction card as I do with most of UFC's cards. Tito...I mainly dislike him because his head is in the clouds. You don't see *many* other fighters blabbering about how they support a promotion's success, and demanding so much, like Tito does... Anyway, his awesome commentating job probably added to my enjoyment of the show. Good job, buddy! By the way--yes, it was awkward to hear some people pronounce Fedor's name as "Fee-oh-dore", but I've heard Fedor say it that way in a few interviews ("My name Fee-o-dore. I am fighter." As you may have heard). I have a feeling the proper Russian way involves more than simply calling him "Faydore". Good job Affliction; they provided an entertaining event.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:03
To be honest, during the fights themselves, Tito wasn't that bad. He knew what was going on, and then didn't sound too horrible talking about it. But whenever there wasn't any fighting going on he sounded like he was taking speech lessons from Mongo from Blazing Sadles.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:05
Tito is classic! This is what you sound like with an 8th grade education! I hate Dana White more than anyone BUT......!! He is SO right about Tito.. He is a moron...Probably one of the dumbest guys on the planet!
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:05
Titortiz most greetest commentor of all time of the night.....buddy! I reely feel sorry for the future of his future opponents's futures. For God's sake someone please sign the guy to fight so he'll stop trying to talk to us about stuff.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:18
best post so far
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:24
yeah Tito seems to have problems with public speaking unless its a post fight interview looked at how he crumpled on the apprentice during the presentation how nervous he was like a little bitch, it shows he sucks at public speaking....great fighter with still lots of potential if he can bring in a new team new boxing, muay thai, wrestling, strength and conditioning coaches
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:26
Well, let you guys tell you something. I was sitting ringside commentating on some of the best fights me ever saw. WHERE WERE YOU? At home in your stupid pants with your dumb friends watching you on TV talking about the fights. Well, lookie lookie now there.. Who's the REAL dumbasses and who's the real dumbasses!?
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:38
tito was terrible...just god awful. i would have just kept kenny rice and bas rutten from HDnet and maybe get joe rogan in there too..
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:38
i wish affliction can dish out an extra million to get el guapo
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:41
I'd rather watch/hear tito all night than that toolbag with the cancer voice Ferral. Jesus he had some bad moments. Who's job is it to pick these guys. I can only imagine what the other auditions must have looked like.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:43
LMFAO! i hope everyone gets that one bc its pure genius
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:45
says Tito's water boy
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:46
Tito is a fcuking moron when it comes to being an announcer. I'm not a Tito hater but he sucked on the mic. The only good thing he did the whole time was maintaining a calm demeanor when Lindland was KTFO.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 04:53
I thought Shamrock was bad.....
Mon, 01/26/09 - 05:26
You Tito superfan #99's need to give it a rest. CP is not playing favorites to UFC, they call it like the rest of us see it. If you think Tito deserves another shot, then maybe you should go back to watching Vince Mcmahon soap operas and sticking to TMZ.com. Treehuggers.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 05:32
Tiot's shitty commentating is like jenna jamison taking a load to the face. It's gotta come sooner or later.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 05:34
Milklavar dont fuckin copy me You can check the live blog, I was the first person to point out that Theadore shit
Mon, 01/26/09 - 05:40
trigg is still the worst
Mon, 01/26/09 - 05:41
That was so bad, I was embarrassed for Tito.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 06:03
renaldo "one of the greatest Lhws of the night" OF THE NIGHT come on asshole. seemed like him and that dude from fight quest were battling for the knows his shit guy, you can only have 2 guys a knows his shit guy and a professional announcer type.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 06:08
Buddy, I hear Jose Aguilar is commentating for Affliction 3.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 06:09
You could tell Tito wanted to do well, and he was trying to do a good job.But the facts are he sucked at it, the oly other annoyance to the evening was the deepthroater who was Sucking Freddy Roaches nutsack while interviewing him, oh yea and that washed up wanna be Mob guy,LOL Overall the show was pretty good, not as good as their 1st show but not half as bad as most UFC shows.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 06:18
correction wang chung, joe rogan is ALWAYS stoned. as far as tito goes, i say keep him on for a few more fight cards. Comic relief is always nice when the other two announcers dont know what their talking about, and he reporter walking around interviewing fighters sounds like hes been smoking a carton of cigarettes a day since he was in the womb. i mean jesus christ, that guy is going to have an aneurysm from trying to speak. im surprised he hasn't had a cough attack during an interview and spit up blood and tar on everyone. that guy has smoked more cigarettes than everyone from the rolling stones combined. keith who?
Mon, 01/26/09 - 06:31
i was hoping fedor would put tito out of everyone's misery, then smile dully and say "good nite, bud-deee"
Mon, 01/26/09 - 06:31
It must really suck being Tito Ortiz.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 06:34
It seemed to me that Tito was very nervous about commentating and being on camera as a non-fighter; it reminds me a lot of how Brock Lesnar spoke at the UFC press conference prior to fighting Randy Couture.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 06:35
LMAO
Mon, 01/26/09 - 06:49
That was Scott Farrell...he has an OK radio show but tends to be annoying. He was acting like a total clown that night.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 06:56
Hard to watch...harder to avoid. Embarrassingly terrible and completely unforgettable. He could probably get better but I really hope he doesn't. You could not write dialog that funny if you tried. Even if you did, no one would believe that any human would talk that way. Thank you Tito.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 07:05
im not your buddy, tito
Mon, 01/26/09 - 07:09
my gym teacher is a chubbier version of tito their faces AND head look exactly the same. Fucking creepy.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 07:24
I thought his commentary through out the fights was actually pretty decent. His in-ring interviews were pretty horrible though, probably from nerves and boos. Cut the guy some slack. I bet if you saw him at a store or wherever ***in person*** every single one of you motherfuckers would be riding his shit. "Oh man, Tito Ortiz!! Blah Blah blah, I love you man good shit I watch all your fights, cant wait till you get back!" GET REAL! FUCKING FRAUDS! This goes to you too CP. I better not see a single *exclusive interview* with Tito Ortiz later on where you act like you've never trashed him. Stupid Fucks!
Mon, 01/26/09 - 07:27
tito ortiz woulda won all the t-shirts on CP if he posts comments weekly
Mon, 01/26/09 - 07:29
"Fourth of July has come early." Goddamn golden, especially since it's a fight between an Eastern European guy and a Russian guy.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 07:31
wat. lulz
Mon, 01/26/09 - 07:41
My god, thats...thats brilliant!
Mon, 01/26/09 - 08:35
Holy shit he is a fucking clown
Mon, 01/26/09 - 08:40
wow......................
Mon, 01/26/09 - 08:49
when he said the guy was 131 years old I couldn't stop laughing. funniest shit ever. he is so bad i would probably watch him again just to laugh at him.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 08:55
They forgot one of the greatest ones of the show. "Lets see if Arlovski can prove that Fedor is not an undefeated fighter!" He said that in the very beginning, when the commentators were rambling before the first main card fight.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 09:00
Imma put you down for greatest commentator ever.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 09:16
Tito is very disrespectful, arrogant, stupid, illiterate, insecure and nothing to concern me in ring. He miss pronounced my name and erroneously stated my record to minimize victories. I like to smash Tito. Tito bad for Affliction.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 09:23
Tito, I like the cage design on you suit. www.fromthecage.com
Mon, 01/26/09 - 09:36
Ugh, this is worse than the time I had Tito over to play PaRappa the Rapper.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 10:22
FYI he said Theodore emilenko!!! WTH!!!!
Mon, 01/26/09 - 10:28
Im glad this article was written,...he was truly embarrassing himself......for fuck sake, he called Fedor, Fee-ador!!??.......fucking garbage!!!........lol!!!.......suck my fuckin balls tito!!!!.....
Mon, 01/26/09 - 11:03
Clue by Four- Great reference.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 11:18
Hi, I am a tito oritz, and I am the hooked on phonics, duhhhh....
Mon, 01/26/09 - 11:20
Looks like jenna has skull fucked tito with the strap-on one time too many
Mon, 01/26/09 - 11:21
You see, this is called "Tall Poppy Syndrome". WHen the mediocre can't stand someone being superior to them, they must try to bring them to theirpathetic level through liberal use of ad hominem. That's insults for the TUF Goyim out there. Tito kicks ass! And so many of you wish you were in the same position, but act like you wouldn't shit your pants if he fronted you. That's if he could even see you Western Thralls.
Mon, 01/26/09 - 11:51
I love lamp. I love... chair. LOUD NOISES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tue, 01/27/09 - 12:10
@ SocraticMethod: Now that comment cracked me up! That sir, was comic timing at it's best! I'll never think of Ralph Ortiz, uh, Tito Wiggum ever the same again.
Tue, 01/27/09 - 01:47
Still better than Bas Rutten or that Australian faggot from K-1. Not that I wouldn't let a horse take a diarrhea shit in my ear than listen to any of the three. Before I die I want Lyoto to guest announce a UFC event and hear Joe Rogan insist on explaining "he's not retarded ladies and gents, he's just grammatically elusive"
Tue, 01/27/09 - 04:38
Breaking news: Affliction seeks to improve its color commentating by firing Tito Ortiz and hiring the retard from "What's eating Gilbert Grape."
Tue, 01/27/09 - 04:42
Douche
Tue, 01/27/09 - 04:52
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!! Thanks!
Tue, 01/27/09 - 04:56
Come on......he needs to go home and get ready for twins. His time has passed!!!
Tue, 01/27/09 - 04:57
yo that was the best Tito Ortiz article. Of tonight.
Tue, 01/27/09 - 05:03
This has to be the greatest article ever as well as the greatest comments ever!
Tue, 01/27/09 - 05:07
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU For posting his quotes. I heard them live...laughed hard, read them now and laughed even harder....OMG he can wear a pretty suit but a suit does not give you brain power. The thing with trying to be overly articulate? You have to have a grasp of sentence structure. FUNNY STUFF.
Tue, 01/27/09 - 06:14
i think the affliction event was good better than most ufc events they just need the right atmosphere.thats why the ufc is really good.but affliction have some decent fighters.infact i would rather see belfort face anderson than anyone in the ufc middleweight division.and affliction has some good if not the best heavyweights but i was dying for someone to scream iceman when tito called sobral one of the best lhw.tito only said this cos he knows he will beat him.i wish people would stop the criticism of everything and everyone the more competition for the ufc means more fights better fights more free fights better for fans better paid fighters and will produce more fighters this meaning people like a silva and fedor gsp penn will have more competition.i feel anderson is gona retire without beating anyone nearly as skilled as him this meaning we dont really no much about him.
Tue, 01/27/09 - 06:40
Buddy, that guy in my eyes, has defenitely tooken the cake as the biggest moron in the 105 pound divsion, pound for pound... tonight. He's like Yogi Berra, with an axe in his head.
Tue, 01/27/09 - 07:49
Tito's funniest and most revealing quote came in his closing comments when he referenced how "hard it is to beat off Fedor".
Tue, 01/27/09 - 07:55
What's funny is Tito was in his home town (orange county) and everytime he would get in the ring, the whole arena would start booing his ass. Felt kind of bad for the guy..for about .02 seconds. hahahaha He really looked like a cheap ass Joe Rogan, and fuck I hate Joe Rogan sometimes. I think Joe vs Tito..... What you guys think??? Settle this "best commentator ever" beef once and for all. I'm thinking Joe via go go plata! HAHAHA
Tue, 01/27/09 - 08:35
wow.
Tue, 01/27/09 - 08:50
JOE ROGAN > ALL!
Tue, 01/27/09 - 01:34
Tito (to Jenna); "So, how does taste Andre's pee-pee-pee?" Jenna kisses Tito Tito; "Oh"
Tue, 01/27/09 - 06:31
Tito and Jenna, oh man their offspring... large heads, with nothing in them whatsoever...
Tue, 01/27/09 - 06:34
Tito sure made a fool out of himself that night. I have followed MMA since 93' and that was just the worst commentator ever... Do what you do best dude, but please don't ruin more shows.
Tue, 01/27/09 - 07:55
He reminds me of Murray Walker, this F1 commentator who was famous for screwing up(He once said, "I'll stop the startwatch") They do really need to Keep Tito as a commentator because everyone has to admit that was most hilarious commenation ever performed in MMA.
Wed, 01/28/09 - 12:36
He was a bit nervous sure..BUT he actually did a GOOD Job..his commentating while watching the fights was Good..and he bought a bit of PERSONALITY into the ring for once...also the fighters obviously knew who he was and opened up a little more than they do talking to say...a 3rd rate stand up comic.
Wed, 01/28/09 - 07:03
"Rogan has a clear bias when you of his buddies is fighting." Tito is that you?!
Wed, 01/28/09 - 08:32
I love that he wants to act now, as well. Oh the irony, he will be the next Ken Shamrock.
Wed, 01/28/09 - 08:37
when you say fedor you make it sound like fjodor .. so he just wanted to keep i original
Wed, 01/28/09 - 08:45
I wonder if kicking the raspy voiced knob in the balls would bring his voice into line. Honestly, who the f**k thinks "yip, I like this guy" and signs these clowns up?
Wed, 01/28/09 - 09:20
"Fedor" is actually pronounced "Fyo-dor" in Russian, even Josh Barnett used this pronunciation when interviewed by Tito.
Wed, 01/28/09 - 03:09
man i love this site, it even draws witty anonymous comments.
Fri, 01/30/09 - 11:52
wow! seriously you would figure with such a huge head.....there might be an average size brain at least..... its gotta be that bleach seaping into his huge noggin.... get in the ring and stop making excuses already mr. HUNINGTON "BLEACH" BADBOY
Fri, 01/30/09 - 02:58
131 years old, what a tool, he has to get his head out from between Jenna's thighs or the lack of air is gonna finish making him retarded.
Fri, 01/30/09 - 07:59
You left out the best one....when Lindlan went down Tito was talking about safety being first and foremost and it came out "furth-an-forth-moarth" I have it as my new ring tone. Love Tito he is awesome.
Sun, 02/01/09 - 08:31
oh wow ...between seeing tito's comments again and everyone elses comments i laughed and laughed! thanks to all involved...especially you tito for making this all possible
Mon, 03/16/09 - 03:01
congratulations buddy
Tue, 03/31/09 - 12:19
So i'm re-reading this again at work and i seriously must look like the craziest fuck ever cuz i'm really trying my absolute hardest not to bust out laughing that my face is beet red like a noobie in a jiu-jitsu class, i got a mean grin on like an adrenaline juiced Houston Alexander from stifling the laughter, and my eyes are glossy as hell from the tears building up and ready to go. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!
Wed, 04/01/09 - 07:41
@mbuster That was one of the funniest things I have read on here.
Tue, 05/05/09 - 01:16
He needs an interpreter!!
Fri, 08/07/09 - 11:57
Just re-reading this pisses me off....what a fucking idiot Tito is.
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